Crossfit Foxygen

Hey Girl...part 3

2012-02-11T21:46:00.000-08:00

And more from your athletes at Eugene CrossFit

And again, Ryan, if you have an issue with any of these, I'm happy to meet with you personally to talk about them. We could hit a WOD together. It's all good.

Hey Girl...part 2

2012-02-11T21:41:00.000-08:00

Another round of our CrossFit fantasies... (from the athletes at Eugene CrossFit)

Just think of this during the Open, ladies.

That's right ;)

We do a lot of mobility work. Ryan's into that.

Hey Girl

2012-02-11T21:22:00.000-08:00

This is what happens when creative and bored CrossFitters take an idea and adapt it to CrossFit. Thanks Gabe, Kelly, and Crystal! And Ryan Gosling, if you have a problem with any of these pictures, please contact me directly! I'd be happy to sit down and talk with you about them :)

And many of the ladies will appreciate this one...

And yes, we have many more on the way.

CrossFit and the Single Girl

2012-02-11T20:09:00.000-08:00

I am single. Fact. After a bizarro period of time in my life, I can say with confidence that I am single and I like being single. It also has me thinking about where to find the right guy. Lately, my friends and family have said, "You know Robin, you could date people who don't go to your gym." Sure. I get the reasoning behind that. BUT, when so much of my life is spent at the box, wouldn't it make sense to combine these two areas of my life? It's multi-tasking, right? As with anything, there are pros and cons to the situation. Let's sort them out.

Cons

What if it doesn't work out? That would be awkward, right?

Sure, depending on the situation. Can't people just work out when I'm not there?

But you're a coach now. You shouldn't date the athletes.

Come on. All the other coaches do it.

Are there other cons? I don't know.

Pros

Common interests!

I know lots about CrossFit. We already have something to talk about, especially if the other person doesn't like baseball (God forbid).

We can see each other at our best...and at our worst.

That's what's so great about CrossFit - we do things we wouldn't normally do and we surprise ourselves and others. Somedays it's like, 'Whoa, I just did butterfly pull-ups!' or 'I totally finished that WOD when I didn't think I could.' Other days, it's more like, 'I just threw out more f-bombs in the last 5 minutes than I ever have in my life, and that person still high-fived me' or 'I have snot running out of my nose and that person's still talking to me.' We know how we do and what we look like. We live with it. And we keep coming back.

And honestly, people usually see you at your best...or at least that's what they remember.

Maybe you had a bad day. You didn't get that PR. It's in your head. But that other person saw you try. And they keep seeing that over time. There are so many people at Eugene CrossFit that I ADORE (and I don't use that word lightly) because of how supportive they are to the other athletes: my friends I hang out with socially, my buddies in GWOD, my fellow coaches ... it's an amazing place. What was I talking about again?

A built in panel of relationship experts! (OK, maybe not experts)

BUT if there's someone that catches your eye, you can ask someone else at the box about them. I do this all the time. Actually, maybe we gossip too much. Never mind. This is a bad example.

Where else would I meet people?

A bar? A website? Work? Ugh. These are terrible options. And in a place like Eugene, which is defeating to begin with, where else would someone like me look?

I would argue that CrossFit is the IDEAL place to find the next great catch. Take that, mom!

Confidence

2012-02-04T09:25:00.000-08:00

I haven't been making significant gains lately and I'm sure I could attribute that to factors that are measurable, like diet. But the more likely reason I'm not making gains is because of the biggest factor that I can't measure: confidence. I want to make these gains so bad, especially in strength, but the truth is that I don't feel like I can do it.

And this isn't something a motivational quote will help with. CrossFit is full of motivational crap. I get it. I know I can do it. But I don't feel like I can do it.

I've been taking Oly lifting classes for the past month to try to get stronger. The first two classes were disasters, with me almost crying in both of them. And in the third class, the instructor said to me, "You looked good. You just need to be confident that you can get under that bar." I have the strength. My form isn't great and the frustration takes over when the weight gets heavy, and I collapse. I know I need to be more aggressive. I know I have to move my feet. I know this.

And this applies to other areas of my life. I've really been working on what I want to be doing professionally, and what I've figured out is that my confidence has prevented me from doing a lot in the past 10 years. I don't think I'm the best writer or teacher or whatever I do. I'm feeling better about my teaching (I got stellar evaluations from my students last term), but I'm still hesitant to apply to other places. In order to make real money, I should probably get a different job, which would take a whole new level of confidence. It is the most important thing I have to work on this year.

And funny enough, I'm very confident in other areas of my life. I can tell someone how I feel about them in ways that shock my friends. But I have to. What's the point of holding that back? They don't like me? I can deal with that.

I wish I could feel as confident in many areas of my life as I look here:

If I could just stay in that mindset, I'll finally get to where I need to go.

Happy Up Here

2012-01-07T11:38:00.000-08:00

A funny thing happened when I went home for the holidays. I flew into Chicago and had a great time. I met up with two of my favorite people and they really tried to convince me to move there. Who wouldn't? It's a fun city, especially for a single girl. And it would help me professionally too, since I'm more likely to find a good job there than I am here. Then I went to my family in Kalamazoo and I thought about it an awful lot. Then I came to the realization...

I'm actually pretty happy right now.

And it feels weird to say this. If you know anything about my past, you know that depression has been a constant in my life and just getting by has been the norm. But recently, my mood has been pretty good. I'm smiling more. I feel good about the future. And the awesome part is that I'm not taking anything for it right now. It's just how I am.

I attribute much of this to the great friends that I've made here, mostly from Eugene CrossFit. I can't talk about them without getting all verklempt. They know what they mean to me. I also know how hard it is to find good friends as an adult. I'm not willing to give that up.

I also know that I have a lot of work to do. I have big goals for my professional life this year. And it will take a lot of work. But I need to focus on these things. I know I do.

I also have CrossFit goals. I'm joining the Oly lifting class so I can do some major work on my technique and start lifting the weight I should be able to lift. I've started coaching, which means I need to take my own training more seriously. I made big time gains last spring, but I haven't made any major gains since. I need that again.

January is traditionally a rough month for me, at least for the past 10 years. It's the month that my dad died and as much as I try not to think about it, sometimes it just comes up and I get overwhelmed with sadness. The weather out here generally doesn't help. But it is sunny today, so I'll take my dog to the park and get that sun while I can. I know how easily it can go away.

Anyway, I am grateful. And happy. So thanks. If you're reading this, you've most likely had a part in all of it.

Top 5

2012-01-03T15:11:00.000-08:00

I have been feeling uninspired in the CrossFit writing world lately, but I've seen many lists today. Lists I can do. And I watched High Fidelity again recently. Here come some lists.

10 Things I Love About CrossFit
10. I'd rather live an active life than a passive life.
9. I hate certain moves (overhead squats, wall balls, rowing) but instead of avoiding them, I keep doing them so I can get better. They won't go away. Neither will life.
8. I can laugh at myself.
7. Statistics!
6. You try, you do your best, and everyone supports you.
5. Sometimes it's all business. Sometimes it's like playtime.
4. I'm not really good at team sports. In CrossFit, I'm only accountable to myself.
3. Who knew lifting a bar from the ground to your shoulders could feel so awesome. I love cleans!
2. I get to teach it now.
1. All of you.

Top 5 CrossFit Moves
1. Double Unders
2. Kettlebell Swings
3. Cleans
4. Pull-ups
5. Push-ups

Top 5 Least Favorite WODs
1. Kelly (also one of my favorite people at the box)
2. Karen (also one of my favorite people at the box)
3. The Seven
4. Anything that involves multiple reps of overhead squats. They make me frustrated. They make me cry.
5. That first wall climb WOD with toes to bar, box jumps and wall climbs. I fell on my face before the WOD and tripped over the box on my first round of box jumps. I spent much of the remaining 30 minutes lying on the floor, wondering what I was doing there.

Top 5 Favorite WODs
1. Annie (my first leaderboard and my first RX girl workout. I love this workout)
2. Helen
3. This partner one with rowing and push-ups we did about a month ago. I don't know why I liked it so much, but I just felt f*ing awesome afterwards.
4. When we did all the lady WODs super-scaled on a Friday. That was so fun!
5. Probably the Games workout from last Spring when you had 5 minutes to clean and jerk 110 pounds. My previous PR was 100. The first time I tried, I couldn't clean it. I spent 5 minutes struggling. A couple days later, I tried again. 2 1/2 minutes into it, I cleaned it. So many people were cheering me on. And it was f*ing awesome.

Top 5 Albums of All Time
1. Garbage - Version 2.0
2. Depeche Mode - Violator
3. Royksopp - The Understanding
4. The Pixies - Doolittle
5. Radiohead - OK Computer

33

2011-12-11T11:43:00.000-08:00

I was born in 1978. This may come to a surprise to some people, like the student who recently said, "You're 30???" (No, I'm not) Or the people who guess my age as mid-20s. Or the woman who asked me if I was a student. Or the many servers who ask to see my ID. Yes, I'm 33.

Jimmy Carter was president the year I was born.
I remember the Tigers winning the World Series in 1984.
I remember talking about Tiananmen Square in the 5th grade.
I was devastated when River Phoenix died (don't even get me started on Jeff Buckley).
"Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica was my class song (seriously, they expect me to go to a reunion after that?)
In my first election, I voted for Bill Clinton (I wish I could vote for him again).
I didn't have email until college (and honestly, I don't think I used much email in college).

But apparently, I don't look 33.
So what, exactly, does 33 look like?

I looked through some pictures from 10 years ago, when I was 23, and even though I was kind of a train wreck at that point in my life, I looked all right. But I look younger now. A lot younger. I feel better. I may still party like a rock star once in a while, but I know better than to do it more than I should. (And I know that I should have the right people around when I do it). I have a better idea of what I want in life. I don't know exactly what I that is, but I'm getting there. I also know that if I keep doing what I'm doing, 43 is going to look Amazing.

In my world, this is what 33 looks like, and I am totally, completely happy with it.

Why Are We Here?

2011-12-02T21:06:00.001-08:00

A few weeks ago, a friend gave me this magnet:

I was reminded of this while browsing through some pictures of me from a workout last week. And while there were some awesome and mostly terrible shots because SOMEONE looooves to take terrible pictures of me during my workouts, this one stood out to me as a moment captured in time.

This was during the Dirty Thirty. I'm standing there, scratching my head, thinking about how I don't want to do anymore wall balls. I didn't include all of the pictures of the ball actually at the line, or me in a squat position. I finished them, of course. I always do.

I feel like I don't have as many of these moments as I used to. Those moments where you look around during a workout and wonder, "Why am I here?" I've been having those before the workout. It's the holidays. It's the end of the school term. I'm tired. And I've been in kind of a nasty mood. BUT I still go.

Tuesday I was in a foul mood. And I was tired. And I had rowing and push-ups ahead of me. But I showed up, did my strength work. Then we did the workout. And I did amazing. Who knew? My friend talks about the rush of endorphins we get sometimes after a hard workout. I felt that on Tuesday. I can do so many push-ups! I was so happy. Somebody take my phone away before I start telling people how I feel!

And I wouldn't have felt that way had I not shown up.

This is a tough time of year. Winter here is grey and it is not good for me. And this is just the beginning. I won't feel awesome every day I show up. But even feeling it once in a while is better than nothing.

Are wall balls a metaphor for my life? It depends on the day. They hit me in the face sometimes. I often don't make it up to the line. I get reps taken away. But I also have to remind myself that I've gotten better over the past couple years and I'll continue to get better. There has got to be a better metaphor out there...

Edited to add that it is clear we need a CrossFit metaphor contest. Post your best to comments.

No Curves

2011-11-27T20:40:00.001-08:00

I hope that someday we live in a world where women are actually treated as equals. This is not a post about feminism. This is a post about fitness and misconceptions.

While grading papers today, I came across another person (a woman this time) who said something along the lines of women should do resistance training and men should do weight training. I had to step away from it because I was so angry (Ironically, I was also sitting in a Starbucks right across from a Gold's Gym). I will grade this paper and I will be fair. I will also make it clear that women should train the same as men. We might not use the same weights ...actually, there are some women using the same weights as men in our box. But we do the same work the best of our ability, just like men.

I've seen a few CrossFits offer women-only classes. I don't like it. CrossFit is not Curves. We all show up and do the same workout, scaled to our ability. That's CrossFit.

I distinctly remember the first time I did overhead squats at CrossFit. It was a weekday night and I was the only female there. Also there that night was an athlete who has gone to the CrossFit Games, an athlete who is now a coach, and another strong male athlete. And me. And guess what happened when I tried to do an overhead squat with some weight? I fell. On my ass. And I almost started crying. But I got up and kept practicing. And I kept showing up and practicing. And I've gotten stronger. Doing the same workout as stronger younger guys is pretty effing empowering.

Women in CrossFit get stronger.
They don't get bulky.
They can still have curves without going to Curves.
So can we all put away our 8 pound weights and start doing something worthwhile?

Moving from Goals to Achievements

2011-11-26T18:38:00.001-08:00

I've used this blog to document my goals and achievements in the past. And I've done a lot in the past couple years (considering where I started, especially). I can RX

Cindy
Helen
Fight Gone Bad
Annie (duh)
Fran (barely)

My 5K time has drastically improved and I can run a 10K like it's nothing. I need to remind myself that I have done a lot and I have come far, because honestly, it often feels like I'm not making progress.

So I've listed goals on this blog and in the box, thinking that it will help me reach those goals. I want:

Handstand push-ups
A 125 lb. clean
24 inch box jumps
More pull-ups in a row

But what have I done to reach those goals? Not a lot. Do I practice 24" box jumps? I thought about it today, then I didn't. A couple weeks ago, I finally set a PR of 115 for my clean, then mentally checked out when I added 2 more pounds. Come on! That's just dumb!

So here's the plan. I want to work on my pull-ups and box jumps. These are two moves I can practice before or after a WOD. I just need to push myself (and if someone wants to yell at me while I'm doing it, that will help). I will start with these two moves, then get over my HSPU fear. I have the strength. I just don't have the form.

I've started coaching. So far, it's been fine. No big disasters. Small, manageable classes (mostly people I know and a couple new faces). We've done moves I know well. But I want to become a really good coach. So I'm going to watch videos. I'm going to pay more attention to the other coaches. I'm going to do better. Our athletes are awesome and they deserve it.

Better coaching. Better crossfitting. And lose 10 pounds (more running + veggies). These are my goals. I'm going to get them this time.

Certified

2011-11-11T11:56:00.000-08:00

Soooooo.....after a lovely (cold) weekend in Portland and a loooong week of waiting for test results, I can now say that I am a CrossFit Level 1 Trainer. Yay! This is something I've wanted to do for a long time. I love writing and I teach writing, so it made sense to me to teach CrossFit since, well, I love CrossFit. So here is a recap of the past week or so.

The Cert
I sat down for the Cert and looked through my binder and notes. Some of us noticed a short guy in a red sweatshirt and a knit cap walking around up front. Then the whispering started. Was that ... could it be...Heck yeah! Chris Spealler was our instructor! Awesome! He's like, as CrossFit as you can get!

Our first day was filled with lots of basic CrossFit info and reviewing the 9 basic movements of CrossFit. We ended the day with Fran. Spealler joked at the beginning that we were going to do it right then (like 9am day one) and actually, by the end of that day, I wish we had done it earlier. I was pretty tired and hungry but still determined to RX it. And much to my dismay, I was the last person in my heat to finish and EVERYONE watched me do my pull-ups. They even no-repped me a few times! I got a 6 second PR and finished in 9:01. Fran is not my friend. And, honestly, it kinda looks like Fran punched me in the face a little.

He's a little stronger than me, but I'm catching up!

Day 2 featured more skills practice, a lecture on nutrition (interesting after being immersed in the Whole 30), and a fun workout involving running, double unders, and kb swings. After lots of fun stuff, we took the test. Full disclosure: I didn't really study for the test. I should have. But I didn't. And yes, I passed. But I've also been doing CrossFit for over 2 years. Still, it was stressful. All of the trainers at the Cert were awesome. I came back energized and all full of CrossFit love. I come in on Monday for some Mobility work and to cheer on my friends through Nancy. And then...

I got sick.

I never get sick. Stupid cold. I tried working out on Tuesday - double unders and power cleans. Awesome! Not so much! I was exhausted through the whole thing and couldn't get my hips to work. Ugh. I had to take 2 rest days in a row this week! Today I'm feeling a little better and I am going to go in. I know I have other hobbies, but I miss my friends. One of the factors that could have caused this setback:

My Poor Eating Habits
Fine. I did the Whole 30. Then I eased back into my life. Then I just went off the deep end. Dessert every night! And a glass of wine! Moderation? What does that mean?

To give you an example, after day one of the Cert, I went back to my hotel and ate at the restaurant. I don't just get one bad thing. I get:

A burger (with bacon and a fried egg - but no cheese!)
A glass of wine
AND A piece of pie WITH ice cream

Why? Why do I do this? Why can't I get one bad thing? Why do I have to do it all? Yes, I was so hungry after that long day, but I didn't need to do this. And I've started to get take-out more and more, which I know I don't need to do (given, my take out is better than fast food, but still).

So I've decided to do a Whole 10. I need smaller goals and some sense of direction. I need to remind myself that I can control myself. Today is day 2. I can totally make it, because honestly, I need to

Do Better
I haven't made any real progress since Spring. Yes, I've set PRs on some benchmarks lately, but they aren't big PRs (a few seconds here and there). I know I can lift more and run faster. I need to have a period of gains and in order to do that, I need to take this stuff seriously. So I need to dial in my eating, focus on form, and take rest days. Lead by example. That's my goal.

Do Better

2011-11-02T09:06:00.000-07:00

It doesn’t get any easier.

You wouldn’t want it to either.

-Greg Glassman

Image stolen from the internets :)

I also wish I looked like this in my short shorts. I do not.

This weekend, I'm going to get my CrossFit Level One Certification in Portland. I've wanted to do this for a long time. When I saw it posted a couple months ago, I figured I'd never really be able to afford it anyway, so I might as well do it now. There's always an excuse not to, so I signed up. I like teaching. I teach writing and sometimes it's amazing. I love CrossFit, so I figure why not teach that, too? I'm also looking forward to spending a weekend immersed in it. I could use a refresher at this point.

I've not been the best CrossFitter lately. I show up; my attendance is spectacular! I do the workouts. But that's all. I don't think a 20 second PR on Helen is anything to get too excited about, especially when my pull-ups are horrible. Just horrible! I did PR on Fight Gone Bad last week, but I also had about 5 people yelling at me the whole time. I also set a PR on Grace, but I still haven't tried to RX it.

It doesn't get easier. I really want to get stronger. I want to get faster. I also still want to have my wine and ice cream. So what has to give? I haven't had a period of gains in a long time - really since the spring. The cert is coming at a good time. I know how to reign in my eating. I've done that and I know I can do it if I want to. Even last night I could have picked up some take out after a late WOD, but I didn't. I made my own food. So what do I need to do to improve?

Work on Mobility. Ugh! My shoulders are so tight lately. So tight. If they felt like real shoulders again, I might be able to kip better, or get under the bar better, or be more active overhead. We depend on our shoulders for so much!
Hold on to the bar! My hands keep ripping when I do too many pull-ups. My grip is seriously limiting my workouts. I need to sand my hands and toughen up. And I need to practice my pull-ups. I can only seem to do 5 in a row at this point, and that really isn't going to get me anywhere.
Clean heavier! I like to think I'm good at cleans, but I've been stuck on the same weight since April. I can finally lift 110, but once I knock it up to 115, my mind is out of it. I should be able to do 125. I can do do 125. It's all mental at this point.

So that's enough to work on. Basically, I need to snap out of it. I'm stuck and I need to do better. That is all.

Deep Thoughts

2011-10-24T21:51:00.000-07:00

"When it's dark enough, you can see the stars."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Especially if you're in the third round of Fight Gone Bad and the wall ball hits you in the face.

I dread tomorrow.

Be Fierce

2011-10-20T21:56:00.000-07:00

This is my new mantra.

I could have used it a few hours ago, when I tried to RX Angie. My hand tore and I couldn't finish my pull-ups. Bummer. 75 pull-ups, 100 push-ups, 100 sit ups, and 100 squats in 22:27. Disappointed? Yes. But I remember the pain from the last time I tore my hands big time. It's not worth it. I need to learn how to take care of my hands.

In other news, I did finally beat my Annie time at 6:28. All double unders were unbroken except the round of 30. Lots of sit ups in 2 days.

All undone by ice cream.

The Case for Mobility WODs

2011-10-17T20:44:00.000-07:00

How many couch stretches would I have to do to get to this level?

This is Where I Try Not to Tell People How to Run Their Lives

2011-10-16T14:58:00.000-07:00

I did not intend for this blog post to be about nutrition. This blog post was supposed to be a testament to CrossFit, and to how I manage not to run for 2 months, and I can go out and run 6 miles with no problems. I hate running but somehow, I manage to get through it. CrossFit is the reason for that. But this post isn't about that.

I try not to tell people how to run their lives. I'm not the best person to do that. BUT when I hear someone tell a group of people misleading information about nutrition - and not just people, but athletes - I have to speak up.

So I did this really great run this morning out at a winery. It's a run for women. We go out for an hour and run, then come back and have mimosas and waffles. Nice. They had a speaker from a popular fitness place in Eugene to talk about nutrition. She answered a few questions and I had to start writing down what she was saying. It was the complete opposite of what I heard at the Whole 30 seminar last week.

Q: What's a good recovery meal?
A: Grilled PB&J with chocolate chips
Q: What's a good snack?
A: String cheese
Q: What's a good pre-run snack?
A: Juice/bananas/yogurt

Other foods she recommended:
Pancakes with cottage cheese
Tortillas with Peanut Butter
English Muffin with Jam
Oatmeal

My awesome friend wanted to ask her about paleo, but I said no, wait. I want to see if she mentions vegetables. And finally FINALLY she said something about carbs coming in the form of fruits and vegetables.

Look, I tried to be polite (not mean). I may have rolled my eyes. I may have gasped. As one friend said, I looked like I was twitching. I waited until she was wrapping up, and I raised my hand (see, polite), and said, "If you want to eat bagels and oatmeal and cereal, that's fine. But you can get your carbs from veggies and you should get them from veggies."

This is what I wanted to say:

FDA Official: "Just Eat A Goddamn Vegetable"

But I was polite. I want that to be noted. Me. Polite. Nice.

We also got free 2 week passes to this popular fitness place. Anyone up for getting kicked out of a gym?

The Final Cost

2011-10-11T20:18:00.000-07:00

I have been tracking my food spending this month to see if healthy eating really costs more. When I started, I had a conservative estimate of $500 that I spent on food the month before, including going out and eating. So here is the final total.

Costco 10/1

Avocados
Pineapple
Salad Mix
Probably something else I can't remember

Total: $15.00

Market of Choice 10/3

Steak
Mineral Water (x2)
Dates (bulk)
Honeycrisp Apples (a few)
Cantaloupe
Lemons
Walnuts (bulk)
Eggs
Yams (x2)

Total: $29.83

Trader Joe's 10/5

Ground Turkey
Bell Pepper
Dates
Applesauce
Raisins

Total: $13.62

Trader Joe's 10/9

Dates
Lemons

Total: $4.18

Market of Choice

Broccoli
Squash
Frozen Blueberries
Larabar (x2)
Carrots (1 lb.)
Salsa
Eggs
Coconut Milk (x2)
Steak

Total: $24.19

Awesome dinner at Lou's: $5
Coffee through October: I'm guessing $20. It's been a rough month.

Whole 30 Grand Total: $450.01

So yes, I saved money this month. And yes, it was exhausting cooking for myself ALL THE TIME!! I am proud of myself for eating all my food (meaning I didn't end up tossing a lot of it). I still have a lot of fish that I don't know what to do with. I miss going out. I know if I spent more time planning, I'd spend less. I'm not a robot. BUT I ate clean all month and I spent $50 less. So there. I proved my point.

Then We Came to the End

2011-10-09T20:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I attended the Whole 9 Foundations workshop. I learned all sorts of good stuff. I finally learned why grains are bad (they contain phytic acid, which prevents minerals from other foods from absorbing into your body, right?) I learned that milk is the ideal food for a rapidly growing baby mammal (good thing I don't drink a lot of milk). I also learned that I will do the Whole 30 differently when I do it again in January.

I may have a tendency to get obsessive about certain things (LOST, baseball, my eyebrows). So when I'm part of a very strict program where I have to think about what I'm eating ALL THE TIME, I may get a little, uh, obsessive. Or paranoid. Or resentful of people enjoying food I can't eat. Or all of the above.

I have not eaten a lot of processed foods in the last month. I've pretty much only eaten what I've bought (I can't trust anyone!). So when my travelling companion, who is like the most awesome person ever, offered me plantain chips from Trader Joe's and showed me the ingredients, including sunflower oil, which was verified by other people sitting there, I ate some. And I felt bad about it. Then, a couple hours later in the workshop, our fearless leader lumped sunflower oils in with other vegetable oils in the 'avoid' list. OK, it said 'minimal' or something. I get scared. I scribble on the back of some paper, "Did you just sabotage me with the plantain chips?" I worry. Day 27 and I have failed.

But I didn't fail. We asked at the break. And I think Melissa, who runs the Whole 30, was a little freaked out with our obsessiveness. I'm fine. And so are the people who've had salsa with citric acid. Geez. She doesn't want us to be hermits for a month (like me). Deep breath. I'm fine.

So many people are fine. Seriously, this Whole 30 thing has brought together so many people at our box. I hope to post their awesome stories of success soon, because, unfortunately, I don't know how much I'll have to report about myself.

Positives:

OK, I think my skin is a little clearer.
I was told that I look thinner (although I don't feel thinner)
I proved to myself that I can make my own food for a month.
I did not cave and get take out or have a drink.
I saved money (I'll share more this week)

Not Quite Negatives, but Certainly Not Positive:

I've seriously sucked at workouts lately. We had one this morning that I should have flown through. I felt really out of shape and irritated with myself.
I haven't changed certain habits (I'll plow through a bunch of dates in no time)
I don't really feel any different.

And maybe that's because of a few factors. I didn't eat terrible before. I haven't eaten a lot of processed foods in the past couple years, so I may not need to reset so much. I have been stressed out big time lately. I didn't really follow the guidelines as much as I should have. In that regard, I mean eating pre- and post-WOD and having enough veggies or protein at each meal. I will change a lot of things next time I do Whole 30.

And holy cow, after we hit the road after the workshop yesterday, I felt my blood sugar drop (I realized I hadn't eaten in a while) and I made my wonderful travelling companion pull over so I could eat. We avoided a pretty ugly situation. A lady's gotta eat.

Going Forward, For Us All
There is some fear among the Whole 30ers, who will wake up Wednesday morning free to eat whatever we want. We fear we might fall back into old habits pretty quickly. Here are my thoughts.

We don't always have to say no, but we don't always have to say yes. If you're faced with something that you know has been a food reward in the past, know that you've lived without it for 30 days. You don't have to live without it forever. Why do you want it this time?

More to come later in the week.

The Variable

2011-10-03T20:10:00.000-07:00

In science and in life (and in LOST), we know that we deal with constants

I love you, Penny!

and we have variables.

In the Whole 30, my constant has been food. I control it. I fix it. I know what I'm eating and why. So when we had a little Whole 30 meeting yesterday and everyone was talking about how great they felt and the PRs they were setting, I felt bad. I don't feel any different. I'm not setting PRs. Why isn't this working?

I started thinking about when you want something so bad (I want to change. I want to set PRs. I want to lose weight) .... if you want it too bad, it's just not going to happen (this tends to happen in other parts of my life).

But then I started looking at the bigger picture. I'm stressed out right now. While my living situation is helpful and fairly pleasant, I need to find my own place. It's super stressful.

But I know the situation will change. I know things will be fine. But I'm reassessing my last week of the Whole 30.

Say yes to social invites! My friend invited me to see the Blue Man Group tomorrow night. Normally, I'd be pretty indifferent, but I'm saying yes. It will be fun. I will enjoy it.
Relax. This is more difficult than it should be for me. Take time to relax. Find ways to unwind, no matter what (gah! I'm terrible at relaxing!)
Try not to eat so much fruit. What does this have to do with anything? It's more sugar than I should be eating. I need more detox.
Don't work out so much. If I'm working out 5 days a week and not improving, maybe I should just calm down.

And honestly, the play-offs aren't helping. The 9th inning of the game yesterday was SUPER stressful. And now the Yankees have tied it up again.

Deep breaths.

I've Lost Track of the Days

2011-10-01T12:08:00.000-07:00

I do know that we have a week and a half to go, and I will finish this no matter what. I'm not having epiphanies like some people. I'm not feeling all shiny and new like some people. But I am recognizing habits and tendencies, which is where I will gain the most benefit from this program.

First, I started teaching this week. When I teach, I know I'll be gone all day. I pack accordingly. I've been great on these days. It's the days that I don't teach, where I go to the office for my other job, that I've gotten lazy. Either I don't think about lunch in time or I know that I can go home at lunch, so I've ended up not packing anything. This is bad. Plan ahead. Be prepared.

Second, I'm stressed out. I haven't been sleeping well this week. I have bags under my eyes right now, even though I did get plenty of sleep last night. I'm in a temporary living situation that is great, but with each day I realize I need to figure out my new living situation. This has become a problem. I'd love to live on my own. Truthfully, I can't really afford it right now. I may have a lead on a potential roommate, but I'm still not sure. Finding a decent rental in Eugene is proving to be ridiculous. I need to find the right space for me and my dog, and I need to find it soon. It's very much on my mind.

So the positive from the stress is that I'm not reaching for ice cream or wine. BUT I also went to CrossFit 5 times this week. Is it healthy for me to do that? Sure it's exercise, but maybe too much. Am I just replacing one habit with another? Escaping from reality at the gym? It wouldn't be the first time.

AND, the Tigers game last night was postponed. Come on! They can build a huge crazy expensive stadium in New York and not put a retractable roof on it? Stupid Yankees! The great Verlander vs. Sabathia match-up everyone was waiting for lasted one whole inning. Grrr!

So the positives. I continue to make my own food, which is good for me. Jen gave us this recipe for Sausage ... holy cow it's good! I made it last weekend and just made another batch this morning. It's delicious and I know what went into it because I made it. And it has to be easy if I made it.

I need to eat more veggies. I know this. I picked some up today. I will do better. My most consistent form of veggies has come from the salsa I put on my eggs. But I bought leafy stuff and I will eat it.

My biggest weakness, besides the veggies, is when I do a really hard workout and then I have to go to the store hungry. This is when I would go get take out. I have not done that yet. I've been good. I've made my own food. After the 30 days, I'll remember that I did this and I will try not to stop at Ron's Island Grill so often. I will try.

Shopping (a short list this week):
Market of Choice (9/28 - post-workout)

Acorn Squash
Dates (bulk)
Apples (honeycrisp x 3)
Salad mix (bulk)
Organic baby carrots
Cantaloupe
Ground Beef

Total: $15.45

Trader Joe's (10/1)

Frozen Berries
Frozen Blueberries
Ground Turkey
Eggs
Canned pumpkin (x2)
Brussel Sprouts
Arugula
Lettuce
Avocados (x2)

Total: $26.14

Coffee throughout the week: probably about $8

Whole 30 total: $338.19

And yes, this is just for one person. And I am spending considerably less than last month. BUT I miss going out. I really, really do. I would love to have an evening out with friends and good food. I've had some interesting conversations with friends about my fear of not being fun if I'm not drinking. (I could do a whole post about this) I know I don't have to go out as much as I did before, and I don't have to get take out as much as I did before. I know this Whole 30 thing is hardcore. I know it's good to sit with whatever feelings I have that would make me want to eat ice cream, or have a glass of wine. I will take this with me going forward.

The Halfway Point (almost)

2011-09-25T17:31:00.000-07:00

How I Feel: It changes day to day. I felt great coming into Crossfit on Monday. I had spent the day in English Department meetings and I hadn't thought about teaching in months and I was truly excited about it. I felt happy Tuesday morning. I just ... felt happy. I love looking at this when I'm wandering around during a break at work:

I was walking around the other day and saw that and smiled because it was a beautiful day. Other days I'm not so great. Like today, I don't know. It rained, which is good. But I'm feeling kind of bummed out right now. Don't know why. I've also felt super-awkward in social situations lately. Not totally new, but kind of annoying.

Also for the first time I started maybe possibly potentially feeling leaner. I don't know. Not today. Today I made this for 'brunch'

That's pretty starchy for me. Sweet potatoes and bananas? Geez! I've been full all day. (Yes, that's the Tigers game in the background. Yes, the playoffs start next weekend. Yes, the Tigers need to make it past the first round if I want to have a beer and cheer them on. Yes, I think they will make it.)

What I Fear: My biggest accomplishment in all of this is that I'm making my own food and not getting take out. I love Ron's Island Grill and a good Yumm bowl. The Whole 30 is hardcore. I'm not going out to eat at all this month (until I have to travel in a couple weeks). I don't trust anyone! I'm not afraid of binging when we're done, but I am worried that I'll go back to old habits. How long does it take to get over being lazy?

Challenges Ahead: I start teaching on Tuesday, which means I'll be gone all day (Tuesdays and Thursdays) between 7:30 and 4 and attempting to Crossfit straight from teaching (and driving). Which means I need to be a super planner. I boiled some eggs tonight. I don't have a ton of 'snacking' veggies in the fridge, so that may be a problem. But I need to be ready for snack, lunch, and pre-workout snack. Can't Crossfit on an empty stomach.

Crossfit Thoughts: I worked out 5 days in a row this past week. Maybe that's overkill. Whatev. I can handle it. And on my fifth day, I PRed on my clean and jerk. FINALLY! I've been trying to get 110lbs. overhead since April. I was sore most of the week from excessive front squats on Monday. Also got a rope climb for the first time but that was more skill-oriented. Not ready to attribute anything to change in eating. Feel some more PRs coming on soon.

This seemed to be the week that people ate everything in front of me - cookies, ice cream, whatever. That ice cream sounded good. No real cravings to report. My mind is set on finishing this.

Here are my grocery trips for the week:
Market of Choice (9/18)

Almond Butter
Eggs
Salsa
Steak
Ground Beef

Total: $18.25

Trader Joe's (9/21)

Persian Cucumbers
Salad Mix
Kale (yuck. I'm done with kale)
Spinach
Apples (4)
Bananas (3)

Total: $11.59

Trader Joe's (9/23)

Eggs
Cantaloupe (yum. I love cantaloupe)
Avocados (2)
Persian Cucumbers
Salad Mix
Bell Peppers (organic)

Total: $14.83

Market of Choice (9/25)

Steak
Almond Butter
Cumin (bulk)
Salsa
Canned Organic Pumpkin (2)
Ground Turkey
Ground Ginger (bulk)
Eggs
Apples (4)
Onion Powder (bulk)
Oregano (bulk)
Crushed Red Pepper (bulk)
Poultry Seasoning (bulk)
Frozen Blueberries
Coconut Milk (2)
Walnuts (bulk)

Total: $41.08
Coffee throughout week: $6.50
Dinner at Gabe's/Crystal's: $5.00

Whole 30 Total: $288.60
And I think I'm done for a while as far as groceries go. I'm going to use what I have and make it through the week, at least. I still have frozen chicken and fish I need to use. I'm tired of salad. I need a break from that. I also have access to fresh veggies that I need to take advantage of. Obviously, with all the spices purchased, I'm following a recipe. Time to be more adventurous, especially if I'm going to carry this forward on day 31.

Sit With It

2011-09-18T17:29:00.000-07:00

Currently, I'm sitting outside on a lovely Sunday afternoon. It's quiet. My dog is sniffing around the yard. The sun is out. It is, indeed, lovely. Normally, to make it more lovely, I'd have a glass of wine. Or some cheese and crackers. Or something classy (like me :p). But not today. I have water. I know I have food to cook tonight. I'm fine just sitting here, enjoying the day.

A wise woman I work out with did the Whole 30 for three months. She says one of the most significant effects it had on her was denying what she wanted. Most of us just eat what we want. We understand that bad choices will effect us later on, but we still eat what we want to eat. We have a bowl of ice cream, or popcorn, or protein shakes, or a glass of wine. But we don't need them.

I think a lot of Americans still have the kid mentality "I want, I want, I want" and then they get it. They have a hard day at work and think, 'A big plate of pasta would make me feel better.' It doesn't. Not really. 'Maybe this sugary coffee drink would do the trick.' No, not really. The problems will still be there.

The Whole 30 makes you sit with it. There have been a few times this week when I have felt stressed or sad or lonely and I wanted to eat or drink something, but I haven't. I would sit with it. And it's not easy to really feel those feelings.

I also had a couple times last week where I did eat when I wasn't hungry anymore. I was eating healthy, but I wanted to keep eating. The difference was that I knew what I was doing. I was hyper-aware of it. I'm hoping this will fade (the eating, not the awareness).

I was asked in a meeting today, by people who are older than me, how I'm so calm and collected and grown up at 33.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

(Um, I had to?) So obviously these people don't know me that well. But I felt I could connect it with this because I'm not (always) quick to react emotionally. I'm learning to think about it. Process it. Then react.

Food is something that can buffer all of that. It takes us out of the emotion just for a while. It helps us feel something else. It prevents us from processing what we need to process.

We're all doing this for different reasons. I realized yesterday that at the end of the 30 days, I'll be in my purest form. I won't have any alcohol, sugar, or junk. I also haven't been on any medication for a while. Who you see in a few weeks is who I really am. I don't want to make more out of this than it is, but I'm kind of excited to see who we all are in a few weeks.

The Cost, Part Two

2011-09-17T13:51:00.000-07:00

We are currently on Day 6 of the Whole 30. It's fine. It's a lot of thinking and a lot of deciding and a lot of mindfulness. It's good for us. Here's my grocery rundown, followed by my thoughts on this week.

Trader Joe's (9/13)

Organic Baby Spinach
Ground Turkey
Strawberries (1 lb)
Persian Cucumbers
Organic Applesauce - Unsweetened
Red Bell Peppers
Organic Gala Apples (3)

Total: $18.33
Notes from Trader Joe's: I like these Persian Cucumbers. They're super crunchy. But I probably don't need to buy them for the next few weeks due to gardens exploding around me. The bell peppers ... Well, when I cut one open, it didn't look quite right inside and I'm picky about how my food looks. The other one was fine.

Market of Choice (9/15)

Steak
Nutmeg (from bulk)
Salad Mix ("bulk" produce?)
Raisins (bulk)
Eggs

Total: $10.45
Notes from MoC. This wasn't really a 'planned' trip. Thursday was rough. My stomach wasn't really feeling well pre-workout and I was just plain irritated post-workout ... and hungry. Regarding the salad mix from Market of Choice, I ended up tossing some of the salad I got from Costco. I just can't eat that much. I would rather buy the amount I need and not throw some out than buy more than I need and feel bad for not eating it. Give me a break here. I can only eat so much salad.

Coffee from Espresso stand (9/16): $2

WinCo (9/17)

Organic Salad Mix
Frozen Blueberries (not organic ... grrr!)
Brazil Nuts (bulk, .23 lb.)
Dates (bulk, .23 lb.)
Kiwi x3
Walnuts (bulk)
Carrots, organic (1 lb)

Total: $11.09
Notes from WinCo: Wow, there is some bad hair in this place. Like, tight curly nastiness. Also noticed people buying cans of Hormel Chili and felt bad. Considering its location, not really worth the trip for me. I forgot about the almond butter because I didn't make a list. Managed to find a few organic veggies, but not enough to make it worthwhile. Also, dog food cost the same as in Target.

So after I went to WinCo, I was hungry and getting cranky and I was all the way across town. I considered going to the Saturday Market, which probably would have made me crankier. I wanted to get some steak to make for lunch and dinner. Maybe some more apples and broccoli. I was getting in a mood. Instead of going a little out of the way to Market of Choice, where I know I would have been able to get steak and whatever, I went to Trader Joe's.

Trade Joe's (9/17)

Frozen Blueberries (organic, wish I would have waited)
Chicken (ugh, shoot, this was just bad planning)
Apples (gala, organic, x3)
Cut Organic Broccoli (my splurge)
3lb Bag of Organic Sweet Potatoes

Total: $17.95
Notes on Trader Joe's: At WinCo, people move out of the way. At Trader Joe's (at least today), they wanted to stand in front of the food I wanted and look at every single little detail. Ugh, hippies. The only good thing about this trip was that it was at about the start of the game so it wasn't as busy as it would have been. I couldn't find a cut of steak that I wanted, I'm not a big fan of pork, so I had to go with chicken. I should have taken some of my frozen chicken out of the freezer yesterday, but I didn't. Planning!! Also, I didn't get the almond butter there because it said it was made in a plant that also processed soy. I'm just going to pretend that I'm allergic this month. It's a cleanse. It also means I'm almost out of almond butter. I may have to run to MoC later. It goes quick.

Total for this week: $59.82
Whole 30 Total: $186.35

Thoughts on Shopping: I need a list. I need to think about what I'm going to eat in the next few days. I knew this going in and this has been a weakness thus far. One step at a time. I'm making my own food. I'm saying no to things I would normally take. I'm trying. I'm learning. On the plus side, I'm eating all my food (except salad mix). This is big for me. My laziness sometimes results in waste, and I shouldn't do that. I know better.
Thoughts on My Life: So my big obstacle for the week is that I had to move out of my place mid week. This made for some interesting challenges. My kitchen was the last room to move. I had to make myself breakfast the morning I had to be out. I had to determine what pans and dishes I would need. When I was finished cleaning Thursday morning, it was around noon and I really wanted to go to Cafe Yumm and get a Yumm bowl. But I knew I had leftovers that I could heat up, and that's what I did. This week has been about choices.
Thoughts on How I Feel: Fine. I'm OK ... today. Thursday (day 4) was bad. My stomach was not happy. I had trouble sleeping earlier in the week, but I attribute that to stress. Some people have had similar reactions. Some people feel great! Wonderful! PRing all over the place! I know I'll get there. We all will. That's why this is a 30 day program. Feeling a little down today, but that's OK. It happens.
Thoughts Going Forward: Yes, now that I'm slightly stable (well, I'll have to move again soon), I'll have more of an opportunity to plan ahead (I didn't even have internet in the house before, so that will help enormously with planning).

It looks like people are eating some good food out there. I will not post pictures of mine because it doesn't look like food porn. Honestly, just making my own food and not grabbing a Luna bar is progress. It's big progress.

The Cost, Part One

2011-09-12T16:17:00.000-07:00

If you know me, you know I generally have no problem telling other people how to run their lives. As I get older, I get more honest. It is time to be honest with myself.

I said I would document how much I spend on food this month. I wanted to do this because so many people say that eating healthy is too expensive. To have this mean anything, I had to look at how much I’ve spent on food this past month so I could compare. It’s time to put things into perspective.

I shop at Market of Choice. I’ve tried going to Safeway, but organic fruit costs less at MoC and I trust the meat at MoC.
I’m on my own now and still getting used to being completely on my own, i.e., buying food and necessities.
It was my birthday this month. Lots of celebrating.
I went out a lot this month – probably more than usual.
But no excuses, right?

So after adding up my grocery and dining out expenses, including random trips to MoC, drinks, ice cream, protein bars, lunch, whatever, I came up with the rough estimate of: $500.

Which seems like a lot. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. (Maybe I should keep track of these things) I could tell you the exact percentage of my paycheck that entails, but I do leave some things private. I don’t like that total (and honestly, it’s probably more), and I’d like to decrease it by 20%. It’s about $16.66 a day to feed me, drinks included. I can do better.

So I had my first Whole 30 shopping trip yesterday. I probably didn’t go out armed with as much of a plan as everyone else, but I did have an idea of what I wanted to get. The first stop is a place I haven’t been to in years.

Yesterday, I went to Costco. I am not interested in 99% of what is in Costco. But I was curious to see if I could find anything on my shopping list – I did! (and it helps to have a friend who has a Costco membership who’s also doing the Whole 30)

Organic Tomato Paste – Ingredients – organic tomatoes. Bingo! 12 pack split with superfriend. Cost =$3

Avocadoes – A big bag of them for $7.99. They’re not ripe yet, but they will be someday!

A big bag of fish (Mahi Mahi to be exact) - $16.99. I’m not sure what to do with them, but they’re frozen and individually wrapped. I know I’m supposed to eat them.

A big bag of almonds - $9.79. 3#, I think. I divided them up into Ziploc bags when I got home.

A big bag of garlic – split with superfriend. $2.40. If anyone wants to make out soon, you might want to take a rain check. I have a lot of garlic!

A big bag of lemons – split with superfriend. $3. Again, not quite sure what I’m doing with all these lemons.

A big container of salad mix - $3.99. I know for sure that this costs more at MoC, and the one I got is still organic – good! I need to eat all this. I’m bad at eating my greens.

A lot of chicken - $21.92. OK, this was my big find of the day. Costco has big packs of Foster Farms chicken that has 2 breasts per pouch and like, 6 pouches … for $21.92. I cooked up a couple pouches last night and put the rest in my freezer. This was a good deal.

Total Costco (food) expenditures: $69.08.

So I’ll be using a lot of lemons, garlic, avocadoes, and chicken in the next week. I had to get something to go with all that, so onto Market of Choice, where I can feel all uppity. Here’s what I got:

Apples
Almond butter
Coconut Aminos (in lieu of Soy Sauce, will be trying these tonight)
Sardines
Kale
Yams
Bananas (3, they were on sale)
Flaked coconut (from bulk section)
Pistachios (from bulk section) (I ate some today, not all, which is a step in the right direction)
Peaches
Broccoli
Sunflower seeds (bulk section)
Bell Pepper
Small steak
Eggs (dozen)
Balsamic Vinegar
Coconut oil
Red Curry Paste
Coconut Milk (x2)

For a grand total of: $57.45

Total for the day: $126.53

Not bad for one day. I got a lot of the oils/condiments/weird stuff I’ll be using the whole month. I’ll need to go back in a few days and get some more produce. But I’m feeling good about this. I’m also open to suggestions for other places to try (WinCo, Albertsons) … whatever has the best deal for the best quality. Unless a fruit or vegetable has a strong peel, I’ll probably want to get it organic. But I probably won’t want another big shopping trip until payday at the end of the month. It takes a lot to feed this shrinking girl.

Reset

2011-09-07T14:36:00.000-07:00

The idea of this Whole 30 challenge is to reset your system. Get all the sugar and gunk out. I think many of us are taking this a few ways.

Yeah, we've been getting away with thinking we're all that because we show up at the box and we do our workouts and we PR sometimes and we're awesome. But some of us are not making the progress we'd like to make. So to those of us embarking on this, I suggest reading this classic Crossfit Journal article, "Getting off the Crack." I like what she says towards the end:

"I had never experienced so directly and consistently the practice of not giving up when it gets hard. Every time I entered my kitchen I had the opportunity to fail. It would have been so easy. But I didn’t, and I cannot describe emphatically enough the rewards—both physical and mental— that getting through that has brought to my life."

It's a good read.

I'm not going to use this blog to chronicle what I'm eating, as I'm guessing what you're eating will look and probably taste better. Instead, I'm going to chronicle what I spend on food this next month. Americans use the excuse of cost to not eat healthy. I understand. I may have to look at what I've spent this past month to compare. I don't like doing that and I may guesstimate, but I'll try to figure it out. I do shop at Market of Choice. I don't even know what to do in a Safeway anymore. But you'll see what I spend, and hopefully, it will be about equal to what I spend on the junk.

And good luck to all of us - next week. Until then, the frozen yogurt shops will know me by name.

This is Such a Bad Idea

2011-09-01T15:48:00.000-07:00

Seriously, do you realize how bad I eat? I know the Whole 30 is coming up. I know I've gained weight. I know what I'm going to have to do and how angry I'll be during this challenge. Knowing this, you know what I did yesterday after the workout? I went to get groceries ... when I was hungry. And guess what was on sale ... with coupons sitting in front of them?

You don't know how bad my willpower is. It's non-existent. I'm doing challenge for good reasons - to challenge myself, to feel better, yada, yada, yada...., but it will be tough. But most things worth doing are difficult, right?

The old blog has been revived - Eat Like You Mean It - as a support system, since we're not alone. I will be calling people for help with this. If I have your number, you'll hear from me. And I won't be happy.

The Whole 30

2011-08-29T15:04:00.000-07:00

I've heard rumors of a nutrition challenge coming up in our box. Normally, I would not do it. Normally, I eat what I wanna eat. But, I'm going to do this one. Why?

Honestly, I kinda feel like a heifer lately.

Before you say anything, I know that I'm not a heifer. I know I don't look like a heifer. But I do feel like a heifer. And it's time for me to start making some progress in the box. So, I'm committing myself to the Whole 30.

Here's what I like about it:

It's strict. It's not messing around. I like that. I need that. I'm not a 'moderation' kind of gal.
It's whole food. Whole food is generally better than processed food.
Other people will be doing this too.
I need the discipline.

Here's what I don't like about it:

There's a huge section on what I can't eat. (Don't tell me what I can't do!!!)
I can't eat a lot of what I've been eating.
I can't eat ice cream.

It's been a stressful summer for me. At times, I've been great with my eating. OK, there haven't been too many of these times. I need to lay off the booze for a while. And honestly, I need to challenge myself.

Here's what I'm most interested in finding out:

Will my skin clear up? I hope so, because it's been a disaster this summer.
Will I set some strength PRs? I hope so, because it's time.
Will I break? I never stick to eating plans. Never!!! When I try, it's all I think about until I go to the freezer and get the aforementioned ice cream.

Challenges

This will start next week. I need to move again in the next few weeks. Moving = stress and trying to find convenient food. Be prepared!!!
I have like 5 bottles of wine in my fridge. Am I supposed to drink these within the next week? What about all the other crap in my kitchen?
I will be ornery! Like, super ornery. Deal with it!
No Luna Protein Bars. Have you had these? They're like candy bars, but better (I think).
Seriously, no ice cream?

I may need to think about this again.

Truth

2011-08-24T21:20:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about truth and living an honest life. As a writer, I know the best writing (and the best comedy) comes from telling the truth, as difficult as that can be. Ideally, our life will be better if we live it honestly.

Yesterday we did Fight Gone Bad. Terrible workout for me. I'm bad at wall balls, box jumps, and rowing. Yeah, tough workout. I start on wall balls and I'm counting in my head. I'm up to 12. My partner, who's counting, says 6. 6?!?!! I yell at her. She gets scared and says I'm not reaching the green line. I keep going.

I yell sometimes.* I apologize. I'm never angry at the other person (unless they're in my way and they should know better). I'm angry at myself. Of course I only had 6 reps. I wasn't reaching the line. She kept me honest.

After doing CrossFit for a while, many of us think we should be RXing everything. We get frustrated when we're not making progress. We need to be honest with ourselves.

*If we have an injury, don't aggravate it. Scale the workout so you don't injure yourself even more!
*If you're not making progress, push yourself to do something that will slow down your time - lift heavier weights, move up in pull-up bands, force yourself to do double unders. Get a slower time once in a while by challenging yourself!
*Be honest with what you eat and how it affects your performance. Seriously. It's a bigger factor than I'd like to admit.
*Practice your weakness. It won't go away. The only way to improve is to practice, which will mean failing every once in a while.
*Give yourself a break. You don't have to PR every time. It's just a workout, right?
*Stop making excuses! Yes, I'm short, which makes wall balls a little more challenging. I'm also (almost) 33 and starting to realize that I'll never be 5'6". I just need to toughen up, get stronger, and jump a little higher.

Honesty is not easy. If it was, we'd live in a very different world. But it does lead to a better life. And maybe some PRs.

*Maybe I should have been an actress. People tend to believe I'm truly upset with them.

Guilt

2011-08-06T13:00:00.000-07:00

Crossfit has brought out a side of me I hadn't seen in a while. Today was the 2nd Annual 5K Love

Which was organized like a pro by my buddy Emilee. This year there was a 10K option. Great! You know what? I haven't been running a lot lately. And honestly, full disclosure, big surprise here...

I hate running.

There's nothing I like about it. I don't like how it feels. My knee gets all weird. I'm breathing heavy. No matter how much I strap stuff down, there's still stuff bouncing. Like, I hear people talk about this mystery 'runner's high.' I have no idea. I've never come close.

So I sign up for the 5K. And what kind of response do I get? "What? You're only doing the 5K?" "Come on, you can do the 10K." Jerks.

So I run the 10K. And I'm running with Rachel who I know can run much faster than me. But she keeps me company. And I'm thinking, 'I worked out a lot this week. Maybe I should take it easy. Is that my knee feeling weird again? Was that really just the first mile? Why did the first mile take so long?"

And it's not just running. There are stations along the way for burpees and lunges and squats and push-ups and broad jumps. I do them. Last year I didn't. This year I did. I'm a good sport.

So we get to the turnaround point. I'm having serious, serious doubts about running another 3 miles. It really doesn't sound good. But something in my head is telling me that I have a green tag on and it says 10K and I should quit complaining and just do it. Fine. And honestly, the second 3 were much more pleasant than the first. Then there's more squats! What??? More squats? No! I thought I was done with the stations. So I politely decline and keep running. And I think about those squats.

And then the guilt sets in.

And Rachel and I slow down. And we do our stupid squats. And we do the next station, and the next.

Why do you do this Crossfit? Why do you make me feel this way?

We finished in 61:28, which was actually faster than I thought. I pushed through. I always do.

I have this voice in my head that shows up early in a workout and tells me I can't finish. It's always there, no matter what. And I'm sure it will always be there. I've learned to live with it, accept what it has to say, and ignore it.

Eye of the Tiger

2011-08-03T17:38:00.000-07:00

This is Justin Verlander. He is, without question, one of the top pitchers in Major League Baseball right now (if not the best). He has pitched a no-hitter this year and has nearly pitched 2 more. He's probably going to win the Cy Young Award this year. And he’s a Tiger!

If you watch him pitch, which you should, you’ll notice one dominating characteristic about him: focus. When he’s on, he’s on. No emotion, just pitching. Yes, the Angels tried to rile him up the other day and it kind of worked, but that was a team effort to stop him. He knows what he needs to do and he goes out there and focuses on the job.

I noticed this a few times this past weekend at the Crossfit games. First there was Elisabeth Akinwale. These athletes had to go through this row of monkey bars during a workout. Fun, right? They ended up ripping hands and morale. It takes a lot of shoulder strength and agility to quickly make it through them. This woman? She flew.

And it was awesome. She knew this was her workout, and she dominated. Pure focus, one rung to the next.

A lot of people were cheering for Pat ‘Manimal’ Barber this weekend. He’s kind of a Crossfit celebrity. Average guy; amazing strength. The last workout ended with pulling a sled across an arena with a long rope. Yeah, the Manimal was one of the first few with the rope, but everyone expected strong guy Jason Khalipa to finish first. Then, out of nowhere, the Manimal’s sled starts moving across the arena. he gets this sheer determination, this focus, and wins his heat.

In the back, yeah, he wins the heat.

The crowd roared.

And then, of course, is our own Cheryl Brost. Cheryl finished 13th last year in her first games. We watched her crush workouts through the Crossfit Open, then fight from behind in the Northwest Regionals to make it to the Games. She was so consistent this weekend. She focused on the workout in front of her and she showed grit and determination through each one. While the camera would focus on someone more well-known (Camille, ahem), Cheryl just did her best and finished strong. 13th last year. 7th this year. And at the end of every workout:

A true champion.

Thanks for inspiring us, Cheryl.

Climbing

2011-07-14T19:57:00.000-07:00

I was just looking at a web site full of pictures of bears (that's what I do). I came across this one and, boy do I know what this bear feels like. We did wall climbs earlier this week, and this is how I imagine I looked:

Brutal, man.

Reflections on Crossfit After Year Two

2011-07-13T19:14:00.000-07:00

Two years ago today, I showed up at a warehouse in West Eugene and held a sandbag over my head and flipped some tires (not at the same time). I came back again, and soon, I was showing up all the time (like they couldn't get rid of me). Today, I RXed Fran. Most people don't know what that means. My faithful readers do.

I've made no secret of who I was before Crossfit. I was lazy. I never liked gym class. I never joined a gym until I was about 27. Usually I'd zone out on the elliptical. Except this one class I took that I really liked - Body Combat. It was an hour but we'd do different moves every few minutes or so. Anyway, when I moved to Eugene I continued the zoning out and the occasional step class, where my friend and I would laugh at each other because we couldn't keep up. I also seemed to steadily gained some weight through my 20s, and ended up like this:

Who likes wine? Ugh. Not awful, but not great.

OK. Here's the one I don't like. I never thought those would go away.

Not bad, but I knew I could do better. I started like a lot of women - green band for pull-ups, knee push-ups, slow-ish running, starting light with the weights. I learned that I'm good with a jump rope! I learned that the coach is there to help, but I also need to take initiative if I want to improve. I need to practice my weaknesses.I need to listen to my body (if my eyes feel like they're going to pop out after a workout and then I end up with broken blood vessels around my eyes like I did today, then I might have to scale it back a little). I will have bad days. I'll have great days. And every once in a while, I'll get to RX a benchmark workout and surprise myself (9:07. Not great, but RX).

I saw an Oprah once where she talked about happiness and how to find it and have it in your life. I've also been pretty forward about my depression here. Anything helps. But one things she said you can do is at least once a month (or week?), go to a place outside of home or work where people expect you to show up - a club, a group, a common interest. Some people have church. Some people have potlucks. Some people have knitting circles. I moved out to Eugene 4 years ago. I'm not the most outgoing person in the world. It's hard to make friends as an adult. And I don't have family here. So what I appreciate most about Crossfit is the awesome people I work out with every day. I was going to single out a few, but then I thought of a few more, so you know who you are ;) I love my Crossfit friends!

Crossfit has also helped me gain confidence. I left a job last year where I was seriously unhappy. While that was difficult, I started going to Crossfit more and more and appreciated the consistency. My life has changed a lot in the past two years. Hell, it's changed a lot in the past 2 weeks, but we won't go into that here! I'm stronger than I thought I was. I look better than I thought I'd look. I lost 20 pounds, which isn't much, but my face really thinned out this past year, which is awesome. I feel like I'm the awesome strong, fun aunt to my niece and nephews. I hate taking rest days (although I know I have to take one tomorrow). It's just fun to see everyone. And I'm grateful. And I'm looking forward to physically competing in competitions I know I won't win. Competitions that don't involve trivia - seriously!

I'm not sure where I'll be in the next two years (or the next two months, really). But I am grateful to have Crossfit.

And in looking for another picture to post, I found one I haven't posted. I just wanted to give everyone a good laugh. This kid probably thinks I can't stand him. It's not him. It's all 16 year old boys.

I will restrain from making a cougar reference here.

(or post your own caption, since Jeremy never chose this one for the contest)

Talent and Strength

2011-07-10T21:01:00.000-07:00

I read parts of the book The Talent Code this weekend. It's a book about how some people excel at skills because of how they learn and how they practice. Basically (and this is a very basic recounting of this theory), most people practice by doing something over and over and over again. But that's not the most efficient way of learning. People can learn and excel much faster if they make mistakes and correct them as they practice. Seems simple, right? But people hate making mistakes, which is why so many people can't get better.

This researcher studied these pools of talent - places where a high number of people achieve a certain skill - Baseball players from the Dominican Republic (some of them are Tigers!), a school in Russia where top tennis players in the world train. They don't just practice throwing and hitting balls. Their ways of learning are completely different than regular schools. I wonder how the top athletes in the Crossfit Games learn their skills.

We practice skills a lot in Crossfit. Sometimes I roll my eyes and think, "Come on. I know how to do a push press." But I'm just impatient. I know I can lift heavier weights, I just don't have the skill (especially for overhead squats). I know some of my friends can do pull-ups, they just can't get the kipping motion. We practice in a group to go over technique. Every box is different. I know some don't spend as much time on skills as we do, but the coaches correct the athletes as we build up in weights. I wonder what might be most effective. The athlete needs direction from the coach, but to build real skill, the athlete also needs to correct themselves when doing a lift. They're split second corrections that we might not even realize, but they increase learning and in doing so, increase skill.

I wonder if anyone wants to do this study with Crossfitters.

Also, I did not read the whole book and I skimmed over the scientific stuff. I'm horrible at learning.

:)

2011-07-06T09:41:00.000-07:00

“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe,

and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. ”

Christopher Robin to Pooh

A.A. Milne

Not Resting

2011-06-29T19:30:00.000-07:00

I had intentions of taking a rest day tomorrow. Coach posted last night that we were going to do death by pull-ups today but don't rip your hands because we're doing a good pull-up WOD later this week. Fine. I'm thinking Fran on Friday. So after my death by pull-ups (10 rounds +8 pull-ups = 63 pull-ups (I think)), I ask coach if we're doing a good pull-up WOD on Friday. Nope. Tomorrow. Helen.

Oh Helen.

I posted my thoughts on Helen about a year ago. I figure these same thoughts will be going through my head tomorrow. Helen doesn't sound bad, but it is.

3 rounds for time:

Run 400 meters

21 kb Swings

12 pull-ups

I rock the kb swings. I don't rock everything else.

But I had it in my head that I would take a rest day tomorrow. I was even thinking about getting my hair cut (if I take some of this weight out of my hair, will it help me with pull-ups?) I don't really like rest days, but I do recognize that they help once in a while (or a couple times a week). I can't take a rest day when we have a lady WOD that I can finally RX. That's what we train for - RXing stuff! (and functional movements?)

I saw a Crossfit friend say something on facebook recently - one of his friends commented on how much he works out, and he said that he doesn't see it that way. It's just like having fun and hanging out with friends. That's how I see it, too. If you're reading this and I see you at the box, I like working out with you. I may not always look like I'm having fun, but I am. I also understand that there is life outside of Crossfit (baseball!), but until I find something else to do with my time, you're totally stuck with me.

Edited to add that I got 11:43 for my first RX Helen. It took a lot out of me. All kb swings unbroken. Still not sure when I'll take a rest day.

Determination

2011-06-22T20:54:00.000-07:00

I love this picture.

This is Becca Voigt. She won the Southern California Regionals this weekend. She's pretty awesome. I love that she looks exhausted and beautiful and determined. And she works at a bank during the day, Crossfits at night.

So many superheroes in this world.

Inspired

2011-06-16T21:44:00.000-07:00

I came back from Regionals pretty inspired. I saw some seriously amazing athletic performances and attitude last weekend. So I decided to hit it hard this week and try to get in top shape so I can make it on the team next year.

Here's what I didn't do this week:

I didn't eat the cake sitting out all week at work. On Monday, it was a huge sheet cake. Then it sat in the fridge, decreasing as the week progressed. I did not have any cake.
I didn't have any chocolate-covered espresso bean/almonds/whatever they were at a theatre meeting on Tuesday. I was working out right after, and although they looked delicious, I did not snack on them.
I did not eat the $3 lunch I asked about at the espresso stand near work. She said that she'd have biscuits & gravy and baked potatoes. Even though it was cold out and it sounded warm and comforting and cheap, I did not buy the $3 lunch.
I did not work out 5 days in a row, even though I wanted to.
I did not take an ice bath after that awful lunge workout, although I probably should have.
I did not go to the new frozen yogurt place over by Crossfit .... because it's not open yet.

Here's what I did do this week:

I tried my hardest on Monday. Not many women can get ring dips, but I'm close. I also really worked at getting all the toes to bar.
I started the 100 day GHD sit-up challenge and push-up challenge. I'm pretty confident about the push-up challenge. I don't know how far I'll make it with the GHDs. I don't really want to mess around with those. I'll be lucky if I make it to day 30.
But I did do 81 AbMat sit-ups in 2 minutes.
I rounded my back on my 185lb. and 195lb. deadlifts. I know I need to work on these.
I kicked butt on this short AMRAP with a sprint and increasing squats and double unders.
I did 4 hard days of working out (I'm including tomorrow's because I always show up). It hurts to sit and stand today and I think tomorrow will be really, really difficult.
I bought a sandwich for lunch today. I'm sorry. I like bread sometimes. I'm not perfect!

All around not bad, but not Games athlete material. I'm working on it.

Goals:

Work on lifting form. I'm strong enough to lift more weight. I'm just scared.
Keep an eating log for a week. I don't like being that honest when it comes to food. I eat a lot - and it's not all good. I'd like to weigh in the 120s and I'm close. Real close. I need to be more mindful of my eating.
Recovery - take it seriously! This hurts!

Moves to work on (and consistently work on them a couple times a week):

Ring dips

Handstand push-ups

24" box jumps

GHD sit-ups

Yep, the Rocky theme is playing in my head right now. Too bad it hurts to move.

Beyond the Competition

2011-06-13T21:13:00.000-07:00

The crowd for the Crossfit Regionals was the fittest crowd I've ever seen. And they came prepared! Yes, the fairgrounds had some food for sale, but they probably didn't need to. The crowd brought coolers full of meat, veggies, fruit, jerky.... No popcorn. No candy. I saw some burgers and corndogs (I may have even eaten a cheeseburger), but this was a healthy crowd. I heard from one woman that the previous weekend in NorCal, the catering company had grilled veggies and turkey burgers ... seems like a great opportunity for some locals to sell their great food!

Speaking of fairgrounds, the organizers missed some serious funtime opportunities... I know that the athletes had to do all the workouts that everyone else did, but there were so many rides just sitting there! And a giant slide! Giant Slide! They could have at least opened it up for spectators ... maybe during the breaks?

There weren't a lot of female individual competitors. I guess that many who qualified competed with a team because they figured they'd have a better chance of making it. But there were plenty of male competitors. Hmmm...I wonder if this has anything to do with mindset and proving something to yourself instead of doing it for a team and not getting all the glory. I may be overthinking this.

The music was terrible! I expected the typical 'daddy-didn't-love-me' death metal'. They actually played Miley Cyrus "Party in the USA" during the last women's WOD. Seriously. Who decides that?

I wonder if a totally average woman who never even went to a gym regularly until she was 27 could actually make it to the Regionals/Games. If she like, trained really hard for a year and didn't eat cake. Or minimal cake. So many of the athletes have a competitive background ... could someone fairly normal handle the pressure? Hmmm...

A whole weekend of sitting ... not awesome. But I did manage to do some double unders.

Only 42 in a row - a bad showing. But I was in jeans!

*As an aside, there was lots of Reebok there. Interesting. Josh Everett posted this free article this weekend on the Crossfit Journal about the partnership with Reebok. I may have more thoughts on this soon.

Games Recap

2011-06-12T21:31:00.000-07:00

Eugene Crossfit had a most awesome weekend. Started a little uncertain, but ended with big excitement and big time winners.

Friday
I got there very, very early. I was super excited and ready for some action. I was also supposed to volunteer, but after waiting around and repeatedly asking if there was anything I could do, some other volunteers and I decided to watch the Games. I hadn't really thought about the workouts in terms of action and spectators, but now I know better.

Before the storm

WOD 1 - Rowing/HSPU/Running
The only thing more boring than rowing is watching other people row. I hadn't really thought about this. For the teams, each member had to row 750 m, then they had to do a total of 50 hand stand push ups, then row again. Sound exciting? Not really, especially when you in the stands have no idea how far they've rowed or how they're doing against the other teams. Our team did good. Here's Sam. He's awesome!

Sisu - remember?

The individual competitors started with a 1000m run, then 30 HSPU, then row 1000m. Kendall and Cheryl did good. The best Crossfit athletes are good at everything, not necessarily experts in one thing. Remember that.

WOD 2 - Thruster Ladder
Uy. Thrusters are the worst. They're even worse than normal when rules are attached to them and if you slip up just once, you're out. Yeah. They're also kind of boring to watch the way it was set up. Friday afternoon was not good for our team. But I feel like I know what we'll be working on soon (keep those feet in place!). Cheryl was called out early on a technicality, which was very disappointing. She finished the day 21st. Boo! But we knew her strengths were ahead and we were looking forward.

Lindsey's tiny and she can lift that weight - I have to work on that (picture stolen from Gabe)

Saturday
WOD 3 - Deadlifts/Box Jumps
This is a 21/15/9 workout where the guy does deadlifts & box jumps (275lbs/30'' box) and then the lady has to take the weights off and flip over the box and do the same thing (185lbs, 24"). I did this workout at a much lighter weight and lower box a couple weeks ago and it knocked me out. Our team did great. Steve did awesome for his part. Then Lindsey stepped up and she's just so small but she can lift so much and jump so high. Truly awesome.

The best part about this was watching the other teams finish. This is where we saw some true Crossfit spirit. About 8 teams went at the same time and many finished in the same general time frame. Some were taking longer. And it was up to the women to finish up. There were a ton of people cheering on these athletes and they finished. Box jumps can be so hard - mentally. It was so great to see athletes and fans cheering on these women to finish the workout.

An athlete from Crossfit Salem finishes while everyone cheers.

For the individual athletes, the workout was the same except the deadlifts were heavier - 315/205. Cheryl made up some places in the standings with this. She finished second with a 3:37 time and started her ascent.

WOD 4 - 100 pull-ups/KB swings/double unders/overhead squats
Seriously, that's the workout. For teams, they had to do 250 reps of each as a team (with chest to bar pull-ups). It was fun to watch, and super awesome performances by every member of our team. Sam and Daren managed to get all their double unders basically in a row, making up mad time. Those crazy kids.

It got ugly watching the individual competitions. Those overhead squats were getting nasty out there. Some of the guys were dropping the bars and getting into other athletes spaces. One guy kept trying to lift it at the end and he couldn't get it and he would wander away like he was going to pass out. That's a lot of working out. Helmets might not be a bad idea for this one.

Cheryl got another second place finish with 19:10 and ended the day tied for 6th. That was big climb for one day. I know in other Regionals, one or two athletes were ahead for the whole weekend. Even though it was stressful, it was kind of fun to have a real competition on our hands. It really could have been anyone going to the Games at that point.

Sunday
WOD 5 - Amanda 9/7/5 Muscle-ups, Squat Snatches
Muscle ups are hard. Not many people can do them. You basically have to hang from rings and propel yourself up using your own force and strength until your arms are locked out above the rings. Like this:

Gabe took better pictures with his fancy camera

This was another big ol' inspirational Crossfit day. When I got there, they were in the middle of their second team heat. The guy on the team was supposed to do 9 muscle-ups, then the girl, then the guy does 9 squat snatches, etc. When I got there, many teams were on their round of 7. One team was still on their first round of muscle ups. This guy was trying his hardest. There was a time cap and that in that time we watched this guy do about 3 muscle ups in 15 attempts. It was brutal. But whenever he got one, the crowd cheered so loud. Another team had similar issues with the squat snatch. The woman walked up and tried and fell. And tried. And tried. When she got one, that crowd roared. Yeah, it was pretty rad.

Cheryl placed 4th. Didn't quite finish in the time allowed, but got pretty darn close. Not a lot of female athletes finished this one. Some just tried to do a muscle up in the time allotted. But they kept trying, in true Crossfit spirit.

WOD 6 - The Chipper
Row 20 cal/30 burpees/40 dumbbell ground to overhead/50 toes to bar/overhead lunges/sprint
This looked awful. But watching Cheryl finish the WOD first was so freaking awesome!!!

That's her - alone in first.

We had a huge group cheering her on. She dominated this one. Then, after she finished, she encouraged the other athletes. Total awesomeness.

So she's going to the Games again. Moved from 21st to 3rd. I saw so many amazing athletes and people this weekend. And shirts. Some favorites:

"I came here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. I ran out of bubble gum."
"Wheat is Murder. Go paleo."

And I got to hang out with these people, which isn't a bad weekend at all.

Don't mess with us. We work out.

More thoughts soon. I have some ideas. I might share later :) But I am ready to workout tomorrow! I've been sitting all weekend!!!

Sisu

2011-06-05T15:07:00.000-07:00

I am 25% Finnish. I'm also part Swedish and part Danish. The other half of me is a very long story that will make a good movie someday. A few years ago, someone I didn't know very well called me a Stoic Scandinavian. I like that. I'm very proud of my Scandinavian roots. Herring? Yum!

Yes, my relatives wave both Finnish and American flags.

Sisu is a word that the Finns use to describe themselves. It stands for determination, perseverance ... a sustainable will. It's a long-term mental toughness. The ability to face adversity ... the ability to always face adversity. I see this in my grandmother.

Yesterday, I was looking at some video from the Crossfit Games European Regionals. Some of the strongest and most-respected Crossfit athletes are from the Nordic countries. I noticed one wearing a t-shirt that said Sisu. I also noticed one of my Eugene Crossfit buddies wearing a Sisu shirt today.

It makes sense that this word would catch on in the Crossfit community. Crossfit isn't about the "fitting-gym-into-your-schedule" mindset. It's about making a commitment. It's about lifestyle. And that lifestyle isn't easy. You make choices. You don't eat everything you want to eat. You do the workouts when you're tired. You make it through the workouts when you want to stop (trust me, I wanted to stop many times today). It's perseverance. It's determination.

It seems like lately, I've been able to live up to sisu in regards to Crossfit. I'm also working very, very hard to do this in the rest of my life.That is the real test.

See also: True Grit

Lady Power Playlist

2011-06-02T19:52:00.000-07:00

Let's say you have a tough 20 minute workout ahead of you (like a Fight Gone Bad or a Filthy Fifty*). You're also in a class with a bunch of ladies. You're tired of the "Daddy-didn't-love-me" metal the coach has been playing. This will get you through it.

Warm-Up
Robyn "Hang With Me"
This is probably the best song ever. Swedes named Robin are awesome. And Swedes named Robyn who make killer dance music are probably even more awesome. This will put you in a great mood for the impending pain.

3,2,1 Go!
Ke$ha - Blow
Ke$ha's a hot mess, but she can make some pretty great dance music. This video has unicorns and rainbows and James Van der Beek, just like my favorite workout shirt .... almost.

Pink - U + Ur Hand
I used to listen to this when I did Body Combat. If you feel like kicking ass, this will work.

Christina Aguilera - Fighter
If this doesn't make you feel stronger and work harder, you're not listening.

David Guetta with Akon - Sexy Bitch
I want to get a Crossfit shirt that says Damn Girl! on the back.

Jimi Hendrix - Foxy Lady
Just to remind you of one of the reasons you're putting yourself through this.

Rihanna - Only Girl in the World
It's OK to sing along.

Gabriella Cilmi - On a Mission
Total girl power. The video is pure cheese and awesomely bad. But I think I lifted more weight when it played today. And you should be finishing up at this point, so enjoy it.

Cool Down
Britney Spears - Till the World Ends
By now you probably want to go out dancing anyway. Listen to this on the way there.

Now let's destroy this workout, ladies!!!

*OK, it takes me over a half hour to do the Filthy Fifty.

Game On!

2011-06-01T20:18:00.000-07:00

What's more exciting than refreshing a web page, waiting for workout scores of athletes you don't know to be uploaded and seeing who makes it to the Crossfit Games this summer? Actually going to the Regionals next weekend (June 10-12. And there's a hot tub in the hotel!). Yep, that's more exciting. (and a great excuse for a Thelma & Louise type road trip. Maybe not exactly like Thelma & Louise. We'll be in a Civic. And we're not that angry. And I don't think we'll run into Brad Pitt.)

I guess I'm finally over my disappointment of not making it to Regionals this year. I'm sure it was the muscle-ups or the overhead squats or the 110 lb. squat cleans or the chest to bar pull-ups or the terrible nutrition or the realization that I'm not really in any league with these people. OK. Anyway, I'm still GOING to Regionals. I think I've even volunteered for some of the time. AND I do know some amazing, awesome athletes who are competing and ......WINNING!

I'll of course be cheering on Cheryl Brost, who's like my workout buddy (not really. We don't workout at the same time, unfortunately.) She did a really good job of taping up my hands last week after I tore them up. Oh, and she was in the Games last year and finished 13. She's pretty super awesome.

I'll also be cheering on Kendall Burnham, who's also super awesome. She's so buff and strong ... and one of the nicest people ever. She's not at our box anymore, but I still have some mad love for her.

And of course, I'll cheer on my team from Eugene Crossfit. I did a lot of the Games WODs with the team that's going and I couldn't work out with more supportive people. How awesome would it be to see them at the Games in Cali?

So Crossfit's not a real sport right? It's not like I'm going to the World Series, right? (The Tigers could still make it, right?) Why would anyone pay to watch someone else work out?

Don't Call It a Comeback

2011-05-24T20:44:00.000-07:00

I did 100 pull-ups today. I was supposed to do more. Oops.

That happened around rep 86. Those last 14 pull-ups really, really hurt. But I had to do them. I mean, you don't get to rep 86 and quit because your hands hurt. (And thanks Zac for cleaning the blood off the bar. I know that was gross and I was trying to be tough but that would have really, really hurt.) I was supposed to do 100 kb swings, 100 double unders, and 100 overhead squats after that (who thinks of these workouts?). Not so much. I was done for the day. Total DNF. And now my hands kind of feel like claws, but I'm trying to keep them stretched out. Ugh. Gross.

High Five?

Then I realized that I'd have to take a rest day tomorrow because there isn't much I can do with my hands. I hate rest days! But seriously, what can I do without grabbing anything?

Running

Sit-ups

Squats

Box Jumps

Lunges

Shoot. I guess I'll have to wait and see the workout.

Today was my second day back after a week off. OK, I didn't take the whole week off. I took some friends to Crossfit Defined in Chicago, which was pretty rad. I'd join right away if I didn't live so far away :) He put us through a lot of warm-up, with double unders, bear crawls, and partner pulls, and skill work in Turkish Get-Ups. One of my friends almost had a pukie after all that warm-up! Then we did tabata rows, box jumps, ring rows, wall balls, ab mat sit ups, and jumping lunges. I got a little excited during my box jumps and did this:

Which actually doesn't look that bad. (But it will stay there forever. Stupid junky blood.) But I did fall over the box and managed to get back up and get another jump in. That was my workout for the week.

I drank a lot this past week, which I will not do again for quite a while. It was just one of those weekends. But still, when I drink, I feel I have something to prove. At a party, I took some people across the street and showed them some pull-ups on a playground. I challenged a 300 pound man to some arm wrestling. I've made better choices. I generally feel like I have something to prove when it comes to all this. My friend, who I visited and has known me for 20+ years, says she hasn't seen me like this before. I think it's a good thing.

I also ate a lot of cupcakes this weekend. And pizza. And sandwiches. And lemon cake. And cheesecake.

I could continue.

And I'm over it...I think. It felt terrible and my body doesn't like that anymore. But still, as I stood in line at Rite Aid tonight, I was tempted to get a Twix bar. So tempted. But I didn't. Not tonight. But it sounds so good...

Anyway, this is me in Lake Michigan, my favorite body of water. My next goal - how to get taller. Seriously, how do I do that?

52 degrees - Us Swedes can handle anything.

Persistence

2011-05-16T18:08:00.000-07:00

I have been told by other Crossfitters how impressed they are with my consistency in working out. This is true. I am, if anything, consistent. I could go at different times during the day, but I don't. I could go on Saturdays, but I don't. But I do go 4-5 times a week, mostly in the afternoon (except Sundays). I have been doing this for ...since about September. I haven't really been sick or injured in that time period. Even when I wasn't feeling well for a few days this Spring, I still showed up. Yes, Crossfit is my major hobby now. I like it. I read about it. I watch videos sometimes. I like reading other people's stories. This blog keeps me writing (although I have so many other ideas). But for the next week, I'll stop being consistent.

Yes, I'm actually taking a break.* I'm taking a short vacation - a much-needed vacation. I'm going to see people I love and I'm going to take a mental break from Crossfit. How does this matter in my Crossfit world?

I've kinda sucked lately, to be honest.

Sure, I made pretty big gains this winter into spring. But the past few weeks have been rough. I was super-bitchy on Wednesday. Friday we did this workout where the first move is overhead squats. I totally dropped the weight on the third rep and while everyone else was moving onto the next move, I was on my 6th rep out of 20 and I decided to do 35lbs instead of 55. Total fail. Then I ran a 5K on Sunday and I don't know ...I just didn't feel good. My stomach was all weird and I couldn't breathe right. I didn't get a good time and I know I don't always have to get a good time, but sometimes I wonder what's the point? Then we had this horrible 'hold a 15 lb. weight while you do everything' workout today that I just despise. And I got another bad time. I need a break.

I also weighed myself before the WOD today and although I've been eating terrible lately, it was the lowest number I've seen in a long time. 131. I don't feel strong right now. I would like to be in the 120s and feel really strong, but that's going to take some work.

So I will stop working out, at least until Monday afternoon. Then the persistence starts. Oh, and I've decided to be responsible for once in my life and save up after I start working again and get my Level One Cert. If I can teach writing, I can teach this, right?

*OK, I know, I might go to a Crossfit in Chicago, but just once, I swear!

**Just adding that I did 56 double unders in a row today during warm-up. That was awesomesauce! Oh, and I'll totally pack the jump rope.

Grunts

2011-05-13T12:21:00.000-07:00

I posted a link to this story on facebook earlier this week and received a lot of comments from my Crossfit friends. Basically, Planet Fitness doesn't want their members to be intimidated by body builders and they call their facilities Judgment-Free Zones. (They also give their members pizza and bagels - what is this, a dorm?). You can't lift heavy weights, and if you do, don't you dare think about dropping them. Oh, and you can't grunt.

A while back, I wouldn't have thought twice about this. Even when I started Crossfit, I'd laugh when guys were making so much noise trying to lift heavy stuff. Then I got stronger. And you know what? I'm loud! Like seriously loud. I remember last spring when we were doing the workout Angie and there were a whole bunch of us ladies there on the pull-up bar. I was on rep 60 or something and the woman next to me was making so much noise, and so was I, and I kept thinking that if someone was taping the noises we were making, we could get some sound work in the porn industry. I'm just sayin'. If you can do 100 pull-ups without making a sound, maybe you're not working hard enough.

I also noticed this during Games WOD 5 a few weeks ago and I was trying to clean 100 lbs. over and over. Even though I didn't yell at the person who was trying to 'coach' me, I was making some pretty serious grunting noises trying to get that weight up. And I totally made it happen.

Maybe we're just taking this primal thing a little too far. But a 'civilized' gym sounds seriously boring to me.

Edited to add this lovely video made by Windy City Crossfit - which is not the Crossfit I'll be visiting in Chicago next week. But good video :)

Bitchfest 2011

2011-05-11T20:41:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, and this may come as a shock, I'm not all sunshine and unicorns. I was just not feeling it today.

First, my whole day was thrown off because I was supposed to help my friend move a couch and I decided to go to Crossfit later than usual so I'd just go to my friend's after. I don't like going later. It was packed. There were 16 people there. That's terrible. That's way too many people for a workout like this or any workout really. Ugh.

So it was raining. WTF? I thought it was supposed to be nice today. Nice! It was windy and rainy and cold and awful. How do people live here? So I get to Crossfit and check my phone. Couch moving is cancelled! Rain! Booo!!! I could have gone earlier anyway.

Then I watch the 4:30 class do the WOD and it just looks awful. Ring rows and bench presses and back squats and a lot of them and heavy. I seriously considered leaving. I never leave. But I thought about it. Then Jeremy said that ring rows would help me get a chest to bar pull-up. Fine. I'll stay and work out with 15 other people.

Whatever.

I did walk the 6K with my wonderful friend after the WOD and although it was cold and a little rainy, at least I wasn't sitting on the couch pouting. I was out in the world pouting.

So not all workouts are wonderful, but I will do them. I will even go back to the advanced class tomorrow because that was fun. And I'll even move that couch after. And next week, I'm getting the heck out of Dodge and I need it. Man, do I need it. It better not be raining in Chicago.

I also hope that Cougar Town is funny tonight because I could use the laugh.

Focus

2011-05-09T21:09:00.000-07:00

I like this recent post from Mark's Daily Apple. One of the many things I like about Crossfit is that I usually can't let my mind wander when I'm there, and if I do let it wander I miss some sort of direction or can't lift the weight I want to lift.

I'm a pretty distracted person. I'm distracted by screens and websites. I wish I was distracted by smart things, like books, but I can't seem to concentrate long enough to finish this one lately, even though I know it's fairly brilliant. Instead my mind wanders to decisions I've made in my life and whether I'm making the right ones lately. Just so distracted these days. If I don't go to Crossfit, I'll just sit and think and over-analyze. That's never the right decision.

I don't own a smart phone because I don't want to be one of those people sitting across from you at a table looking at their phone. That's annoying. I have a very dumb phone, but it allows me to call my mom and my sisters, and that's enough for me. In the past, I would text or talk while driving, but I haven't done that for years. I even try to avoid looking at the phone while I'm walking, which seems to be how most people get around these days. I have also not walked into any walls lately or tripped over my feet. Not recently.

It bothers me how distracted people have become. I used to zone out on the elliptical reading US Weekly and watching SportsCenter. Always just zoning out, not really in the present. I can't do that for tomorrow's workout - Jackie. I'm pretty slow at rowing, and if I zone out, I'll just sit there rowing while everyone else has moved onto pull-ups, then I'll be the last one doing pull-ups. Crossfit has helped me in a lot of ways, and although you can't always see it, it's definitely made me more present in my life.

Habits

2011-05-02T21:38:00.000-07:00

I'm able to laugh at myself, which is a good thing, especially when I see pictures of myself looking ridiculous. After a certain point in Crossfit (probably after your second WOD), you realize that you're not going to look good doing anything there (some people do, but not many) and you just get over it. I brought my 13 year old niece to a WOD last spring and she was mortified. Yes, we look silly. We're used to it.

I know - Flying Monkey. Yes, my niece liked this picture.

So on Saturday, the lovely April showed up with her camera and took some pictures of us doing thrusters and pull-ups! Great! Actually, it was pretty awesome, and so is she, but I noticed something that is apparent in the above picture too...

Didn't get this chest-to-bar. Shocking.

Didn't get this one either.

But I can at least lift the weight. Wait - what am I doing with my mouth?

I even do it while I'm judging!

My sisters, my mom, and I all do the same thing with our mouths. And I've made fun of my sister Jessie before but as is apparent here, I do the exact same thing. When we're thinking hard, it shows. I was just thinking too hard about those pull-ups. And judging. And everything. But that's OK.

It's a good thing I can laugh about those pull-ups. Oh, it's a good thing.

Preparing to Kick Ass

2011-04-27T19:03:00.000-07:00

Usually, we find out about our workouts the night before we do them. I've known about tomorrow's for more than a week, and I'm really excited about it.

The Games WOD for this week is an evil version of Fran, an AMRAP of 7 minutes with...

65 pound Thruster, 3 reps

3 Chest to bar Pull-ups

65 pound Thruster, 6 reps

6 Chest to bar Pull-ups

65 pound Thruster, 9 reps

9 Chest to bar Pull-ups

65 pound Thruster, 12 reps

12 Chest to bar Pull-ups

65 pound Thruster, 15 reps

15 Chest to bar Pull-ups

65 pound Thruster, 18 reps

18 Chest to bar Pull-ups

65 pound Thruster, 21 reps

21 Chest to bar Pull-ups…

This will go one of two ways for me. Either I'll do my 3 thrusters and spend 6:30 trying to get a chest-to-bar pull-up. Or I will get way more rounds than I expected. Last week, I set my expectations pretty low and after the fact, wish I had set them higher because I could have done better. This week, I'm setting my goal to get through the round of 9. That would be a pretty big accomplishment for me.

If it was just regular pull-ups, then the thrusters would be the problem. But these aren't regular pull-ups. You actually have to hit the bar with your chest. As I found out yesterday, I can get the height, but I can't seem to get close enough to the bar. It's that stupid fear of hitting my head on something, or bruising, or maybe I just can't figure out the logistics. I don't know. But I will give this one an all out effort tomorrow. I will be so excited when 4:30 rolls around. I don't know why - thrusters + pull-ups = pain. But I want to do it.

That bar won't know what hit it!

Zumba?

2011-04-26T14:57:00.000-07:00

I'm going to preface this by saying that I'm sure I would have a good time doing Zumba. I used to take those kinds of classes. Heck, I might even get a good workout!

But this post is not about Zumba. It's about gender roles and assumptions.

I try not to talk about work online. I know it's not a good idea. But something stopped me in my tracks today and I had to address it. In short, some students put together a brochure for fitness activities here on campus. They divided it into two categories: male-centered and female-centered. Guess where weight training went? Guess where Zumba was listed? After their presentation, I asked if these categories were determined by their group or the college and they said they did it. They're young guys. Is this what we're teaching them?

I never went to Curves or any other female-centered gym. Yes, there is something to be said for Girl Power, but if we're all about feminism, shouldn't we work out and do the same things as men? Sure, I felt intimidated when I first started Crossfit and I would be the only girl there on a heavy lifting day. You know what I did? I got stronger!

I love Crossfit because women are generally treated equally as men (despite some remarks here and there). It doesn't seem like it's that way in the overall fitness world. What do you think?

I almost told that group of guys that I was sure I could do more pull-ups than the three of them put together. We'll see.

Other Thoughts

2011-04-24T22:16:00.000-07:00

I've decided to resurrect (ha! on Easter) my other blog. I looked through it and didn't find anything too incriminating and really didn't want to post about the end of the world on my Crossfit blog. My other blog shouldn't be interesting to anyone, but it is what it is. I read through and realized I certainly was worried about turning 30. That's not really the case anymore.

Standards

2011-04-21T19:55:00.000-07:00

About 6 weeks ago, I set a PR for my clean - 100 lbs. That was a good milestone for me.

Today, I cleaned that weight 25 times.

Crossfit HQ has been releasing a WOD a week for the Open, in which they're determining who will make it to the Regionals, and then the Games. Most of us signed up knowing that we really wouldn't make it to Regionals, and when I signed up I was questioning why I even wasted the $10. But I love it.

The first week, the WOD was double unders and snatches (or ground-to-overhead) 55 lbs. When I saw that, I thought, "I can do that." And that's the point. I got a few rounds - the bar was pretty heavy after that intense cardio. But the really great part of that WOD was seeing all these athletes at my box getting their first double under.

The second WOD involved push-ups, a big barrier for so many women. Their standards were pretty strict too - keep your body straight, hands off the ground at the bottom. That was by far my best WOD. But more importantly, so many people did more push-ups than they usually do. Good stuff.

The following week was tough - 110 lb. squat clean and jerk. I've mentioned this before. It was awesome that I finally got that squat clean, even if I only posted 1 rep for that WOD. I'm still in it!

Last week was just irritating - 60 odd burpees, 30 90lb. Overhead Squats, 10 muscle ups. Now they're starting to weed out the weak ones. I did my burpees. My Overhead Squats are terrible and I didn't even attempt it. But I'm still in it!

This week, the WOD is

5 Power Cleans (100 lbs.)

10 Toes to Bar

15 Wall Balls (14 lbs.)

When I saw that, I made myself worry about the Toes to Bar and Wall Balls. I didn't let myself think about the cleans. I figured my hands would get all torn up from the Toes to Bar. But when I tried them yesterday, oddly enough, I was fine. I could totally do them. I know I couldn't do them 6 months ago, but I could now. I practiced cleaning a lighter weight. Keep it close to the thighs. Explode with the hips. OK.

Cleans are a weird move. I've heard the explanation a hundred times. I've practiced so many times. But I blank out during heavy WODs. I have the strength, I know this, I just have to get under the bar.

And I did. My first 5 came pretty easily. I set pretty low goals for myself on this one and now I wish I hadn't. On my first set of wall balls, one of them came down right on my left thumb, bending it back. That still hurts. But I could have gone faster. I could have done more. *

But I made it through 4 full rounds, and 5 cleans and 1 toes to bar. I missed some reps. The Games require standards, which I completely appreciate. All of my wall balls didn't make it. They didn't count. I wasted time. I missed a couple toes to bar (I think everyone heard it when I missed). But those shouldn't count. We should have standards. We need to get it right.

What I love about the Games is that if this WOD came up in a normal day, I would never do it RX. 100 lb. cleans? No way! But I had to today in order to get a score for the Games, so I did it.

Even with my sore thumb and my bruised collarbones, I'm considering doing this again on Saturday. I shouldn't. Oh, I know I shouldn't. Why do I do this?

That's why. Yes, I won the Crossfit March Madness. This was taken right after (OK, if Sam and I were really arm wrestling, honestly, I know). But you know what's great about this? All those people in the background who - after a really intense WOD - volunteered to do this one with us. They didn't have to, but they did it. And there was a big group of people cheering all of us on. That is awesome. And that's why I'll be at Crossfit on Saturday, definitely cheering, and if I don't come to my senses, competing.

*There's a common misconception that I don't like people cheering for me. This is false. I don't like the disappointment in people's voices when I can't get a rep. Also, I know my limitations. I can only get so many pull-ups at a time. Cheer on!

Mantra

2011-04-18T14:42:00.000-07:00

LOST WOD:

(AMRAP 108 minutes)

Sprint (distance will change depending on what's chasing you. You may rest if you find a place to hide for a couple minutes)

Rope Climb (to escape the polar bears)

Sled Drag (to move your shelter. must do this if the Others find you)

Get to the top of a large hill as fast as you can, but it's OK to wander down when you don't get reception

Sledgehammer Swings (RX is shirtless, because that's how Sawyer does it)

Row (Try to do 1K, but you might not make it that far)

Don't look at the clock. It might move forward or backwards at any given time.

Change

2011-04-15T12:34:00.000-07:00

A slideshow of pictures ran through my computer this morning, and I saw one that changed everything. It's a picture of me and my nephew Ben that was taken a few years ago.

Ugh. OK. I may take that down by the end of the day. I hate this picture. I hate it because I wanted a really great picture of me and Ben (he's an awesome kid. We roll on the same wavelength). But that's not me? Right? Is that how I really looked? I know I wasn't big but it just looked ... unlike me. Unlike what I thought of myself. And I know I didn't always look like that because I had just taken a picture with my niece

And I look moderately fine there. But that picture of me and Ben, that was when I felt like I had to do something. I was unhappy with all of the pictures of me. I didn't find Crossfit until a year later, but this was taken after a year of Crossfit

That's more like it. Nate's almost as tall as me. Ben has the crazy tooth that fell out about 15 minutes later, and I'm happy. If you're unhappy with how you look or how you live, change it.

Yep. I totally miss my family.

As an aside, doesn't Crater Lake look completely unreal? That place is like another world. (It's rainy and grey today and I'm dreaming of other places)

This Is Pretty Much What We Do at CrossFit

2011-04-12T21:24:00.000-07:00

Seriously. This is what we do.

The Mental Games

2011-04-09T15:20:00.000-07:00

Every Tuesday, Crossfit releases a new WOD for the Crossfit Games. This Tuesday was week 3, and when I saw the WOD my heart sunk a little. So far I've been able to RX the game WODs and put up pretty average scores. This week, they went heavy. For ladies, this meant cleaning 110 pounds, squatting, then getting it overhead (and getting as many reps as you can in 5 minutes, but this didn't really matter in my case). I can squat that weight, but my max clean to that point was 100 pounds, and I think I've gotten 95 overhead before. My goal was to get one round, which would be a PR.

When I went in on Thursday, we practiced the movements for a while. Then we started adding weight. I practiced with 35, 65, 85, 105 pounds. By the time we got to 105, I was pretty discouraged. This was so much weight. And that was the point. They're looking for strong people. My partner went first and she did awesome. She was able to squat clean it and she eventually got it overhead, then squat cleaned it again. By the time my turn came around, my head was out of it completely. I tried and tried for 5 minutes to lift that weight, and I just couldn't get myself under it. I had told myself I couldn't do it, and guess what, I couldn't. I wasn't even that frustrated because I knew that was really heavy for me. I was pretty ambivalent about trying again today.

But I did. I came in, stretched, kept to myself. I started adding weight to a bar. I was able to clean 105 warming up, which was a new PR for me. My goal was to get something on the board. I didn't want to show up and not get it again. When the clock started, I picked it up a few times and came real close. Then another woman ran over, said she had the same trouble the other day, and told me to explode coming up. So I did this. We talk about our hips a lot in Crossfit, so instead of just standing and trying to lift a lot of weight, I exploded. And it worked! I cleaned 110 pounds, then squatted. I got my one rep! And so many people cheered when I got it! I tried going overhead, but it was not in the cards. But now I have something on the board. I'm still in it!

My coach said he'd never seen somebody so determined. I disagree with that. I see it all the time, almost every day.

I've dealt with some pretty debilitating depression my whole life. Currently, it comes and goes. I actually went off my medication at the beginning of the year. I know it's a chemical imbalance, but sometimes I just want to see myself for who I am and try to deal with it. A few weeks ago, it got pretty bad. Most people love free time - I don't. I'm not good on my own and left with so many choices, I can become paralyzed. I feel guilty for not writing. I feel guilty for not doing a lot of things I know I should be doing. Anyway, some people had noticed that I was hanging around Crossfit a lot, after my class was over. But where else am I going to see awesome people do amazing things every day? Seriously.

Crossfit doesn't cure depression. But I'd hate to think of where I'd be without it.

Competing

2011-04-02T22:17:00.000-07:00

I'm a competitive person by nature, but not when it comes to Crossfit. I know better. I may be one of the biggest baseball fans currently living in the northwest, and I will talk about how awesome the Tigers are to anyone who will listen, but I am not joining the softball team this year. Newsflash: I'm not athletically-inclined. I hate playing team sports. I feel bad for the other members of my team. Crossfit tends to bring out the competitiveness with some people, but not me. I'll look at a few other people's scores sometimes and see if I can beat them, but I'm really trying to beat myself.

But now I find myself in the midst of 2 crossfit competitions - The Crossfit Games and our own March Madness. The Games are kind of a big deal. They're trying to find the fittest people in the world. They usually hold sectionals, then regionals, then the games, but Crossfit is getting SO big that they're doing the Open this year. They release a workout each week for 6 weeks and if you want to compete, you can do the workout and submit your score and see how you rank. Top 60 men and women in each region go to regionals. So why am I competing? I don't know.

I've done OK with both the workouts so far. I made the mistake of doing the second one again today. I did it on Thursday and I did fine. I don't know what I was thinking doing it again. 15 box jumps per round X 7 rounds on Thursday and 6 rounds today = some pretty sore calves. And I'm just doing this for fun!

The real competition is on Monday. We've been doing this same workout for the past 6 weeks:

5 burpees

10 pull-ups

15 squats

Short sprint

As many rounds in this weird time structure. When we started, I was really focused on getting my pull-ups for real. I knew I'd get less rounds than other people, but I also knew we'd be doing this every week and I could really work on them. The first week, my competitor didn't show. I got through the next week easily (solid improvement). Last week, I was sick. I was just really run down and feeling awful. To make it worse, we had to do heavy kettlebell swings before the workout. I got 10 less reps than the week before. I was banking on my competitor not showing up. He did, but he was also sick and got 23 less reps. I'm in the Final Four! I do have a tough competitor this week - someone who's been making a lot of gains the past month or so, but I will do my best. I'm in it to win it!

I really wish we'd have a Crossfit Trivia contest. That is something I could win easily. EASILY!!!!

You won't see #8 in Right Field this year.

Qualifying

2011-03-30T21:32:00.000-07:00

Watch out, ladies of the Crossfit Games! I just did my first handstand on my own. And I almost did a handstand push-up!

I'm catching up.

Playlists

2011-03-24T12:27:00.000-07:00

A while back, I wrote a post about Music to Crossfit to (terrible grammar, sorry). This is a subject I think about often because I work out too much and there's usually terrible music playing. Once in a while we play our own music, which can be fun, but when that happens I'm usually thinking about what will play next and if it was the right song to play next. That's just how my mind works.

Full disclosure: I have really bad taste in music. It's steadily been going downhill for the past 5 years or so. Or maybe in my aging, I'm just being more honest in what I listen to. George Michael, Ke$ha ... it's all good. But it wasn't always this way. Back in high school, I had great taste in music and I could make a killer mix tape. I feel now that I'm at Crossfit so often that I should be able to come up with the perfect playlist for a Crossfit workout. But there's a big difference between a playlist and a mix tape.

First, you listen to a mix tape while you make it. You figure out what you want to say with the music, you gather a bunch of CDs or tapes, and you start. You might have a good idea of what should come after "Under the Milky Way", but after you listen to it, you might have other ideas. I guess you could do that with a playlist, but you don't have to. You can just click and drag songs and forget about it until you're listening to the playlist. Then you can change the playlist if you want. You can't do that with a mix tape, not really. A mix tape is forever. I have some in a box in the closet that are 15+ years old...and if I pulled them out I'd probably be brought back to sitting alone in my room in high school, thinking about what to say to that certain someone, which brings me to my next point...

When we're doing a workout in Crossfit, or at least when I'm doing a workout, I'm thinking about how much it sucks and why am I doing this and only 5 more reps or whatever. These are fleeting feelings that will be over soon. The vast majority of my mix tapes were created while thinking about a boy and whether or not he liked me and if I'd ever find out. These are much stronger emotions that create much more powerful music.

I'll keep trying to come up with some good stuff to listen to during the WODs. But I know where my talent lies.

Good Artists for a Crossfit Playlist:
En Vogue
Lady Gaga
AC/DC
Guns 'n Roses

Good Songs for the Perfect Mix Tape:
Helpless - Sugar
I Want to Touch You - Catherine Wheel
Under the Milky Way - The Church
Shake the Disease - Depeche Mode

Life & Fear

2011-03-20T22:53:00.000-07:00

I was just reading a little book about Art and Fear (specifically called Art & Fear) and came across this thought by Joseph Conrad:

"Fatalism is born of the fear of failure, for we all believe that we carry success in our own hands, and we suspect that our hands are weak."

I actually told someone today about how I can't do a handstand because I'm afraid my arms won't hold me. It's stupid. I have the strength. I just haven't practiced. This is such a simple move and I haven't been able to do it yet. I feel the same way doing an overhead squat. I should be able to lift a lot more weight than I can - I have the strength - I just don't trust myself to do it.

I just watched this show called Party Down (brilliant show, canceled, of course. If you haven't seen it, you should watch it just to see Adam Scott, who's also on Parks & Rec and is awesome and nice to look at). Anyway, Party Down is about a catering company in LA. It's full of actors/comedians/writers trying to make it. But the main character, played by Adam Scott, is a guy who tried acting for 8 years and quit and is now resigning himself to work this menial job in the service industry. And he still gets recognized for a terrible beer commercial. Anyway, much is made about following your dream and not quitting.

Writing is not easy. I don't know why I chose to try it. But I haven't been doing it enough for a while now. I've been out of grad school for 5 years. I have not written anything substantial in 5 years. Some people comment on how impressed they are with my consistency with Crossfit. Sure, I reply. It is such a great distraction from other things in my life. But I need to start dedicating as much time to writing as I do to Crossfit, driving included. No excuses. Art is hard and it sucks. But some of us feel this stupid urge to create something that someone else might appreciate. And it sounds weird but Party Down is the kind of show I would like to be involved with someday. So I need to get to it and not quit.

2

2011-03-15T15:30:00.000-07:00

Last month we started a new Spring Leaning Challenge at the box. I don't win these challenges, but I play along and try my best. This year the challenge was much shorter, and in a lot of ways, much more difficult.

So on February 15 we did a workout called Angie, which I had done a few times before. It consists of:

100 pull-ups

100 push-ups

100 sit-ups

100 squats

And this has to be done consecutively, so you do 100 pull-ups, then you do 100 push-ups... It's brutal. The push-ups are especially difficult after the pull-ups. Last month when I did it, I finished in 24:26 using a red band for pull-ups and 50 real/50 knee push-ups. It wasn't awesome, but that workout rarely is.

Today I did the workout again, and along with losing 2 pounds, I took 2 minutes off my time. Not bad for a month.

But the workout was completely different today. When I did it in February, I worked out with a bunch of my Crossfit buddies. It was a decent-sized class that day and we cheered each other on. Today, I couldn't make it into the night classes (work seems to get in the way of Crossfit sometimes), but I still wanted to do the workout. I could have come in at 7:30 am, but didn't we just have a time change and isn't that awfully early to be working out? I could have come to the 8:30am class, but that class is kind of intimidating and really, really good. So what do I do? I arrange to come in and do it alone. Just me and the clock and the Lady Gaga Pandora station. I didn't even have a coach to cheer me on (he was doing an intro). I knew what time I needed to beat, and I did it.

Many of us are creatures of habit. We like schedules and consistency. I don't think I'm that way (especially for work. 9-5=torture). But I do tend to show up for Crossfit at the same time on generally the same days. I could go to other classes, but I never do. Why? I like my workout buddies. I like seeing a lot of the same people every time. Some I've become close to; some I don't know anything about besides how awesome they are at pull-ups. But I like seeing them. I could try to change it up and go to earlier or later classes, but for now, I'm good. And I'm still improving. That's good enough for now.

For Sofia

2011-03-11T12:15:00.000-08:00

If you read this blog regularly, I'm going to ask that you do something, just one thing, that would mean so much to me. For the second year in a row, my friend and I are raising money for Greenhill Humane Society, a no-kill shelter that does wonderful work in the Eugene community. Last year our team, Tiger Twins fo' Paws (don't ask), raised over $500 in just over a week. We're starting early this year and hoping to raise at least twice as much. If you can, please donate here. We'll be running in Bark in the Park on May 15. It's a really fun 5k with so many people with their awesome dogs.

This is my beautiful girl, Sofia.

I adopted her nearly 7 years ago from a shelter in Kalamazoo. She was scared and severely underweight. It took some time, but with love and trust, she's become my best buddy. She's been with me through a lot. I know so many others have had richer lives because of the animals they've adopted through shelters.

Please give if you can!

Words

2011-03-10T12:14:00.000-08:00

My mind has been occupied with reading and assessing and planning as of late. Of course, I still make it into the workouts - it's the best way to avoid doing what needs to be done!

I'm talking about flash fiction today in my last lit class. If anyone's interested in reading a fantastic little story, read this one. Yes, this proves that I don't just read about box jumps and sports bras and whether or not wine is paleo.

The Only Thing Worth Mentioning

2011-03-07T21:14:00.000-08:00

I ran 6 miles yesterday in 56 minutes. This is very, very good for me. It is also the longest distance I've run since September. My knee feels it today.

This sums up my current state of mind. My brain hurts. Enjoy.

Cheating

2011-03-02T12:21:00.000-08:00

From February 14 through February 25, I was paleo. I ate meat and veggies and nuts and dates (a lot of dates. I love dates. Seriously, go get some dates. They're delicious.) In that short time frame, I managed to lose 3 pounds. Bonus! It surprised me because I never lose weight. But this was also a very specific time frame. Why didn't I just do it for a month? A very special friend had a very special birthday on Saturday and the partying was planned well in advance. It's OK to allow ourselves a cheat day once in a while, right?

So last week my very special friend asks about cake, specifically who makes the best cake. We both realize that we like cake made from a box. I can do that! So that's what I did.

This became a problem.

So we go to the wineries for the afternoon. Everyone has a piece of cake; some have two pieces. Great! I'm still left with well over half a cake. I promise to wrap up a piece for the birthday girl and for another special friend who will be joining us later. Done!

So then later comes and I leave the cake in the car. I manage to remember to give our other friend her piece(s), but leave the rest in the car. Oops.

So I find myself Sunday morning with half a cake. I think, I'll just wrap this up and give it to the people at the board meeting I'm going to this afternoon. And I wrap it up. And forget it on the counter.

So then the Oscars come on and my plan is to sit and stare at the TV and my laptop all night. I don't want to cook - I have cake! I ended up throwing out some of the cake because it was too delicious and I couldn't look it over anymore. I ended up being seriously disappointed with the academy (Banksy! Fincher! Come on!) and overloaded with sugar.

I also gained back all of the weight I had lost. This is why I don't own a scale. I'd be on it every day. I know I can lose that weight again, but these setbacks kind of suck. I want to win this challenge and I have to kick it into serious overdrive this week in order to do it.

It doesn't help that I'm going to this Winery Run on Sunday morning, where we run for an hour and we're rewarded with mimosas and waffles. But the waffles are gluten-free. That counts for something, right?

The Uniform

2011-02-23T12:33:00.000-08:00

The bad ass Crossfit women's uniform - sports bra, short shorts, and knee highs

This picture was taken from today's main site post. This is the ideal for many of us Crossfit ladies.

She's confident enough to wear that
She looks amazing
She's doing pull-ups, which make her look even more amazing!

The women in our box don't wear this kind of outfit. It's mostly old t-shirts, yoga pants, nike capris, or whatever didn't smell really bad. I would like to change this. I would like to make Eugene Crossfit more bad ass. BUT I'm not confident enough to wear something like this - YET.

First, you have to own it. Not just own the clothes themselves, as in buy them and put them in your dresser, but feel good wearing them. I like wearing costumes and I often go all out. But if I'm going to wear something like this, I can't feel like it's a costume. It's just what I threw on to go work the hell out.

Second, and most important, is that I don't want to show up looking like this:

Nobody wants to see this

I love Britney, but this was kind of a train wreck. I know, I know, most of us would look worse than this in this outfit. But we're not up there onstage at the VMAs, are we?

Why is this coming up now? I have a gift certificate from Lululemon coming in the mail. I could get more capris. Or I could get something ...new. And maybe if I start dressing the part, I'll start acting the part. Could I RX more workouts in short shorts? Is this really a mental thing?

Britney could do some Crossfit. She'd show up in the right outfit. Me, I'm getting there.

Losers

2011-02-18T10:14:00.000-08:00

I admit it: I watch The Biggest Loser. It's a terrible show. At its heart, it means well. Actually, the more I think about it, it doesn't. Its goal is for really obese people to lose weight. Good! This needs to happen in epic proportions here in the US. Unfortunately it's like every other reality show in that it kicks someone off every week, even before they're ready to do it on their own. Not great.

But we really know what the show is, right? (shh....it's a 2 hour commercial disguised as an inspirational weight loss program) I didn't watch the first few seasons, but I'd like to imagine a time when trainers recommended whole foods and a healthy lifestyle with less stress. Not anymore. This show is full of product placement. I hope the contestants get paid for all the advertising they do. If they don't, they should start a union.

A few weeks back, I realized that The Biggest Loser could never hire a Crossfit coach to whip their contestants into shape. A Crossfit coach would never say, "Wow, you've had a tough workout! You should replenish those calories with this yogurt whose second ingredient is High Fructose Corn Syrup" or "That was a tough workout! Why don't you chew this gum so you don't feel so hungry!"

I've seen a couple articles today about healthy eating and fitness, one in which addressed Bob Harper personally. My favorite quote comes from Rob Wolff, who speaks the Paleo gospel.

"Does anyone remember the product for which Wilford Brimley was the spokesperson years ago? Right, Quaker Oats. Does anyone know what Wilford Brimley now promotes? Diabetes testing supplies."

The Biggest Loser is all about promoting products: water filters, storage supplies, processed foods, their own fitness line. They really have an empire now! I just tried searching for nutritional information on their own food line, but got incredibly frustrated and I have things to do today. In other words - I have no idea what goes into their products. But they are making a lot of money. My hope is that they're not pumping their consumers full of more sugar, which leads to more sugar, which leads to...

I came across another blog post today that talks about the C word - Cardio. I used to do a lot of Cardio too. Now I can't say the word without laughing. Women's magazines are terribly misleading in regards to weight loss. Do more cardio - lose more weight! Do "strength" training twice a week! (with what, 8 pound weights?) This blog post isn't perfect, but it does address a lot of the misconceptions women have, i.e., more cardio will help you lose weight. You need to lift weights to lose weight! It's that simple! It's scary but it has to be done!

I know I've become a snob since joining Crossfit. I know I try to push it on people. Why? It works! I see it every day. I've seen it in myself and everyone around me. I used to be that person reading a magazine on an elliptical machine, just an endless cycle of magazines and ellipticals and wearing the same pants size for years. It doesn't have to be that way.

Numbers

2011-02-16T10:22:00.000-08:00

I don't own a scale. I don't measure my happiness by a number on the scale. BUT sometimes it's nice to be reminded of how much progress I've made, and numbers are a good way to measure that.

When I started Crossfit, I weighed 153 pounds. This was 153 soft pounds. Not a lot of muscle. When I started Crossfit, and changed my eating habits, I lost 7 pounds in the first 2 weeks. Not bad! But that's indicative of any major fitness program. If you truly change how you move and what you eat, of course you'll lose weight! I lost more weight slowly, but it wasn't my motivator. I needed smaller jeans, smaller shirts, and something I never thought would happen, a smaller bra.

My first few weigh ins actually took place at a doctor's office, for various reasons, but then some time passed when I didn't weigh myself. When I wanted a reminder of my weight, I'd go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond and step on a few of their scales to see where I landed. I've been in about the same range for over a year ...138-141. That's fine. My goal weight has always been 135. That's what I think I should weigh considering my body type. I could lose a little more weight around my midsection, but other than that, I'm pretty happy with how I look now.

So then we start a new challenge at Crossfit - Spring Leaning II. This involves some pictures, a brutal workout (Angie), and a weigh in. I went to the 5:30pm workout last night - after teaching all day and snacking on the drive home. I wasn't expecting anything - just the normal high 30s, low 40s. Then I looked down - 136.4! What? Where did that come from? I nearly high-fived my coach!

But what surprised me more than the number was my reaction to it. Do I feel any different at 136? Do I look any different? Why was that number so important? And why do I want to get to 133 now?

I heard that other people liked that scale too, which makes me wonder about its accuracy. Would I be as happy if I stepped on another scale and it said 138? 136 was the lowest number I've seen in .... I'd say 10 years. This number shouldn't matter, but for some reason, it makes me feel better about what I'm doing and gives me incentive to do better. I'm just happy I don't have a scale in my house so I don't have to look at that number every day.

Finally - A Goal Realized

2011-02-13T21:14:00.000-08:00

I don't like running. I think running is a good way to measure how much I've improved fitness-wise. I've been doing a lot of running this past year, just to see what I can do. I finished a half-marathon on my feet. I didn't run a lot of it, but I finished. I've done a lot of 3-5 mile runs. It's not a problem anymore. But I really haven't seen a lot of improvements in my times since I got 29 minutes a year ago in a 5K. But finally, FINALLY, I beat that time this Friday.

I woke up that morning and thought that I needed to do a longer run before my 4 mile race today, and that I needed to finally beat that 29 minutes. I went to Crossfit Friday afternoon, got out of my car, hit start on my watch, and started running. No ipod. No partner. Just me and that clock. A minute improvement would have been fine. But I didn't beat it by a minute. I beat it by TWO!!! 26:50! That's huge!!! That's an 8:36/mile pace! Me! When I started Crossfit, my first 5K time was in the 33 minute range. I'm getting faster!! Woo-hooooo!!!

So today was the Truffle Shuffle, a benefit for Committed Partners for Youth. A lot of people come out for this race; it's a pretty great event. It's a 4 mile run. Last year when I did it, it was the longest I had ever run, and I did it in 39:28. I was pretty happy that I did it in just under a 10 minute mile. Today I ran it in 36:48. That's a 9:01 minute mile (my Garmin said I ran 4.08 miles). I really felt like walking during mile 2 - I had a terrible stitch in my side. But I kept moving. Something about numbers keeps me moving. I want to get a smaller number than the one before. So I keep moving.

Now I'm pretty worn out. I'm not even going into Crossfit tomorrow, and I always go in on Mondays. (OK, maybe I know what's coming on Tuesday). But I will take a much needed rest day, then this weekend I'll try to run a 6K in under an hour. No problem.

Waking Up

2011-02-08T12:05:00.000-08:00

Many elements contribute to overall fitness. Diet is just as, if not more important than exercise. Hydration and recovery also factor into overall fitness.My problem lately has been sleep. The problem started in early December. When school ended, my schedule became way too flexible and I started staying up late* and sleeping in later. Generally I can go to bed between 10 and 11 and wake up at 6:30. When I don't have a set schedule, I go to sleep and wake up when I please. Strike one.

Then the sheets came.

My mom got me new sheets for Christmas. I loved my old sheets. I got them on sale at Macy's a long time ago and they're super-soft. Maybe these new ones have codeine sewn into them - I don't know. But they are so soft and warm and comfortable. Just one more minute...just one more then I'll face the cold world....Strike two.

I also recently stopped taking a medication that I took in the morning. This medication had somewhat of an alertness effect. I'm glad I stopped taking it. I feel like I'm more myself, but now I'm just sleepier. Strike three.

I've also been working out 5+ times a week. This definitely has made my body tired, but I'm not sure if that's really a cause to my problem. This morning I set the coffee to be done at 6:30, the alarm on my phone, and the alarm clock by my bed. Guess what time I finally got up? 7. I don't know if my body just wants to hibernate or what, but I don't feel much like getting out into the world these days. Maybe the increasing day light will help. Maybe forcing myself on a schedule will help. All I know is that it's noon right now and I have two more classes to teach and it's hard to get my students motivated when I just want to crawl back into bed...

*I won't place direct blame, but this is about the time I realized that Curb Your Enthusiasm and Entourage come on at 11 and 11:30 pm respectively. If I'm awake anyway...

Rollin'

2011-02-02T09:40:00.000-08:00

Sofia loves it when I roll.

Most normal people stretch after a hard workout and that works for them. That's not enough for a serious Crossfit athlete. After a seriously hardcore workout, like Cindy, we need to get out the foam roller and put ourselves through some minor torture.

We did Cindy two days ago. This was a major milestone for me because I RXed it for the first time. Awesome, right? Last night, it started to hurt. My quads hurt from the 180 squats. My lats hurt from the 63 (RX!) pull-ups I did. And my pecs started to feel the 120 push-ups. Also, for some unknown reason, my calves felt all knotted up. I got out the foam roller for a few minutes and rolled out my calves.

I should step back. Most people love massages, right? I don't. I feel the need for them every once in a while, but they're generally not all that enjoyable for me. They hurt! I know - my body sucks and can't take it. I don't know when I became so sensitive to everything, but massages are not my friend. When massages hurt, the foam roller is bad, bad news.

It seems like each Crossfit box pitches the same stuff (fish oil, paleo, ab mats). I don't know if they're just not creative or if they get some killer deals or what. But foam rollers are those items that you don't see many places but you will see at Crossfit. They're just as important as the workout and just as painful. I know that the knot in my calf will go away, but it's going to take some cringing.

Anyway, I'm in more pain than usual today and I'll still show up at the box. That's how I roll.

Defeat

2011-01-14T19:05:00.000-08:00

I felt like today it was me vs. the equipment, and the equipment won. We had a bizzarro workout today, involving these things called Wall Climbs. Most of the movements we do in Crossfit are functional movements - stuff you could potentially do in the real world. We tried to think of how this movement could translate to reality and we were stumped. How often in life are you in a plank position, then moving your feet up a wall until you're vertical? I think of myself as a creative person and honestly, this move has me wondering.

Anyway, we tried these against the wall in the main room, which felt like it had been oiled down the night before. We moved into another room and decided the walls were less slippery, so we moved our boxes in there and we're ready to go. Then we try the toes to bar move. That involves hanging from a bar and swinging your toes up to touch the bar. We have new bars now in this other room and I can actually reach one of them! Awesome! So I do just that and realize I could do a couple - which was awesome! Then I completely lost my grip as my legs were swinging back and I fell right to the floor, hitting my left knee and my chin. Awesome! Some of the ladies check the bar after and realized that the condensation was a problem there too, and we should cover the bars with chalk and probably not even use that one. Man, the workout hadn't even started.

But I'm a trooper and even though it did hurt, especially my knee, I got on the floor and got ready for the workout. Honestly, I felt like bursting into tears. I had a lot of unrelated stuff on my mind today, and falling on my face didn't help, and the thought of a really hard workout that would take at least 20 minutes was pretty discouraging. But I sucked it up and started. I did these wall climbs the best I could. They weren't pretty. I did knees to elbows, which is a little more reasonable than toes to bar, and I did them on a different bar. So far, I was going through the motions but doing them nonetheless.

Then came the box jumps. I get some serious mental blocks when it comes to these. I've been trying to use a 20" box because I know I can, and I've been jumping because I can. I was stepping for a while, but I know I can jump, so I do it. On my 13th jump I completely fell over the box onto the floor. Great, now I'm on the floor again. I could see a pattern. But I picked myself up and jumped again. I really wanted to step. I really wanted to quit the whole stupid workout all together, but I jumped.

And I finished. I didn't expect to and I don't know if I would have been too upset if I had stopped. En Vogue's "Free Your Mind" came on towards the end, and that actually helped a lot. That's a hell of an empowering song! It was my 5th workout of the week. I had a lot on my mind. But I came in and did it, and that has to count for something.

Here's an idea of what we did, done by the #2 lady at the Crossfit games, Icelandic Annie. If you want to see how I did it, you can imagine me lying face down on the floor, looking around, wondering why I showed up.