Feeling Better

January is usually a bad month for me. I have the traditional problems like everyone else - it's winter and I hardly see daylight; it's post-holiday let down. It's also the month that my dad died - 9 years ago. Some years I'm OK - I think about it a little and move one. Some years I'm not. Last year was especially difficult. I don't know what it was about it, but it hung over me for weeks. I'm already thinking about it this year, although the anniversary is at the end of the month. I know that if I keep myself busy and allow myself to mourn just a little, I should be OK. Part of that will be Crossfit. If I'm one thing, I'm consistent. I go 4 times a week, sometimes 5 if I'm ambitious.

I've been dealing with depression since my teens. It's something my dad left me with! One element of depression that's a continuous struggle is making the effort to get out of bed and not sit on the couch all day. Sometimes it just sounds better to not do anything at all or to not deal with anything. But I must move and I must keep moving if I want to be an active participant in my life. When I belonged to a regular gym, I did my best to get in there and move a few times a week. Of course, it was mindless. And when something is mindless, I keep thinking about the things I always think about. The best workouts are the ones where I can't think about anything else. I have to focus on what my body is doing. I'm hoping that Crossfit will help me through this month.

It also takes a conscious effort on my part to make the right choices concerning food. I mentioned earlier that I'm being mindful of my eating this month and avoiding sugar and starch. This includes alcohol. It's good that I've already made the decision not to drink for the month - I have an excuse! But it's amazing how many opportunities there have been already and how many times I've said no. But if I can stay mindful of what I put into my body for the next few weeks, hopefully my state of mind will reflect the difference.

Here's to a better January.