Until...it didn't.
I did everything right. I was 98% sure that something I wanted so much was going to happen. I hadn't planned on that 2%. I really hadn't planned on it.
There are variables in life that we can't control. I wasn't ready for this to not work. If you saw me on Monday or Tuesday of last week and I wasn't crying, you were lucky. It was a rough couple of days. I've dealt with depression a lot in my life and I was really worried that I was going to fall into a really dark place when this happened.
But I haven't.
I did this a few weeks ago. Yes, this is real life. I needed a constant reminder of who I am and where I come from. Since I've gotten it, I've thought of my grandmother so much. She's been through more than anyone should handle. Finns are tough people.
Sometimes we want something. It might be a job, an opportunity, weight loss, hanstand push-ups, pistols, whatever. We try EVERYTHING and we're almost there...and yet, it just doesn't happen. I believe, in my soul, in perseverance. When we don't get what we've worked so hard for, we have to believe in it, or else we collapse.
C'est la vie
3 comments:
Thank you for this. You're an amazing person Robin. Thanks for being my friend.
i relate to this more than you know, robin. thank you for your honest reflection posted here. you are brave to share it, and i honor you for it. we really need to get together for coffee soon. xoxoxo Emily
You inspire me and make a difference in my life. Thank you for sharing.
Brandy K
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