Don't Call It a Comeback

I did 100 pull-ups today. I was supposed to do more. Oops.

That happened around rep 86. Those last 14 pull-ups really, really hurt. But I had to do them. I mean, you don't get to rep 86 and quit because your hands hurt. (And thanks Zac for cleaning the blood off the bar. I know that was gross and I was trying to be tough but that would have really, really hurt.) I was supposed to do 100 kb swings, 100 double unders, and 100 overhead squats after that (who thinks of these workouts?). Not so much. I was done for the day. Total DNF. And now my hands kind of feel like claws, but I'm trying to keep them stretched out. Ugh. Gross.

High Five?

Then I realized that I'd have to take a rest day tomorrow because there isn't much I can do with my hands. I hate rest days! But seriously, what can I do without grabbing anything? 

Running

Sit-ups

Squats

Box Jumps

Lunges

Shoot. I guess I'll have to wait and see the workout.


Today was my second day back after a week off. OK, I didn't take the whole week off. I took some friends to Crossfit Defined in Chicago, which was pretty rad. I'd join right away if I didn't live so far away :) He put us through a lot of warm-up, with double unders, bear crawls, and partner pulls, and skill work in Turkish Get-Ups. One of my friends almost had a pukie after all that warm-up! Then we did tabata rows, box jumps, ring rows, wall balls, ab mat sit ups, and jumping lunges. I got a little excited during my box jumps and did this:

Which actually doesn't look that bad. (But it will stay there forever. Stupid junky blood.) But I did fall over the box and managed to get back up and get another jump in. That was my workout for the week.


I drank a lot this past week, which I will not do again for quite a while. It was just one of those weekends. But still, when I drink, I feel I have something to prove. At a party, I took some people across the street and showed them some pull-ups on a playground. I challenged a 300 pound man to some arm wrestling. I've made better choices. I generally feel like I have something to prove when it comes to all this. My friend, who I visited and has known me for 20+ years, says she hasn't seen me like this before. I think it's a good thing.


I also ate a lot of cupcakes this weekend. And pizza. And sandwiches. And lemon cake. And cheesecake.


I could continue.


And I'm over it...I think. It felt terrible and my body doesn't like that anymore. But still, as I stood in line at Rite Aid tonight, I was tempted to get a Twix bar. So tempted. But I didn't. Not tonight. But it sounds so good...


Anyway, this is me in Lake Michigan, my favorite body of water. My next goal - how to get taller. Seriously, how do I do that?

52 degrees - Us Swedes can handle anything.

Persistence

I have been told by other Crossfitters how impressed they are with my consistency in working out. This is true. I am, if anything, consistent. I could go at different times during the day, but I don't. I could go on Saturdays, but I don't. But I do go 4-5 times a week, mostly in the afternoon (except Sundays). I have been doing this for ...since about September. I haven't really been sick or injured in that time period. Even when I wasn't feeling well for a few days this Spring, I still showed up. Yes, Crossfit is my major hobby now. I like it. I read about it. I watch videos sometimes. I like reading other people's stories. This blog keeps me writing (although I have so many other ideas). But for the next week, I'll stop being consistent.


Yes, I'm actually taking a break.* I'm taking a short vacation - a much-needed vacation. I'm going to see people I love and I'm going to take a mental break from Crossfit. How does this matter in my Crossfit world?


I've kinda sucked lately, to be honest.


Sure, I made pretty big gains this winter into spring. But the past few weeks have been rough. I was super-bitchy on Wednesday. Friday we did this workout where the first move is overhead squats. I totally dropped the weight on the third rep and while everyone else was moving onto the next move, I was on my 6th rep out of 20 and I decided to do 35lbs instead of 55. Total fail. Then I ran a 5K on Sunday and  I don't know ...I just didn't feel good. My stomach was all weird and I couldn't breathe right. I didn't get a good time and I know I don't always have to get a good time, but sometimes I wonder what's the point? Then we had this horrible 'hold a 15 lb. weight while you do everything' workout today that I just despise. And I got another bad time. I need a break.


I also weighed myself before the WOD today and although I've been eating terrible lately, it was the lowest number I've seen in a long time. 131. I don't feel strong right now. I would like to be in the 120s and feel really strong, but that's going to take some work.


So I will stop working out, at least until Monday afternoon. Then the persistence starts. Oh, and I've decided to be responsible for once in my life and save up after I start working again and get my Level One Cert. If I can teach writing, I can teach this, right?


*OK, I know, I might go to a Crossfit in Chicago, but just once, I swear!


**Just adding that I did 56 double unders in a row today during warm-up. That was awesomesauce! Oh, and I'll totally pack the jump rope.

Grunts

I posted a link to this story on facebook earlier this week and received a lot of comments from my Crossfit friends. Basically, Planet Fitness doesn't want their members to be intimidated by body builders and they call their facilities Judgment-Free Zones. (They also give their members pizza and bagels - what is this, a dorm?). You can't lift heavy weights, and if you do, don't you dare think about dropping them. Oh, and you can't grunt.


A while back, I wouldn't have thought twice about this. Even when I started Crossfit, I'd laugh when guys were making so much noise trying to lift heavy stuff. Then I got stronger. And you know what? I'm loud! Like seriously loud. I remember last spring when we were doing the workout Angie and there were a whole bunch of us ladies there on the pull-up bar. I was on rep 60 or something and the woman next to me was making so much noise, and so was I, and I kept thinking that if someone was taping the noises we were making, we could get some sound work in the porn industry. I'm just sayin'. If you can do 100 pull-ups without making a sound, maybe you're not working hard enough.


I also noticed this during Games WOD 5 a few weeks ago and I was trying to clean 100 lbs. over and over. Even though I didn't yell at the person who was trying to 'coach' me, I was making some pretty serious grunting noises trying to get that weight up. And I totally made it happen.


Maybe we're just taking this primal thing a little too far. But a 'civilized' gym sounds seriously boring to me.


Edited to add this lovely video made by Windy City Crossfit - which is not the Crossfit I'll be visiting in Chicago next week. But good video :)

Bitchfest 2011

Sometimes, and this may come as a shock, I'm not all sunshine and unicorns. I was just not feeling it today.


First, my whole day was thrown off because I was supposed to help my friend move a couch and I decided to go to Crossfit later than usual so I'd just go to my friend's after. I don't like going later. It was packed. There were 16 people there. That's terrible. That's way too many people for a workout like this or any workout really. Ugh.


So it was raining. WTF? I thought it was supposed to be nice today. Nice! It was windy and rainy and cold and awful. How do people live here? So I get to Crossfit and check my phone. Couch moving is cancelled! Rain! Booo!!! I could have gone earlier anyway.


Then I watch the 4:30 class do the WOD and it just looks awful. Ring rows and bench presses and back squats and a lot of them and heavy. I seriously considered leaving. I never leave. But I thought about it. Then Jeremy said that ring rows would help me get a chest to bar pull-up. Fine. I'll stay and work out with 15 other people.


Whatever.


I did walk the 6K with my wonderful friend after the WOD and although it was cold and a little rainy, at least I wasn't sitting on the couch pouting. I was out in the world pouting.


So not all workouts are wonderful, but I will do them. I will even go back to the advanced class tomorrow because that was fun. And I'll even move that couch after. And next week, I'm getting the heck out of Dodge and I need it. Man, do I need it. It better not be raining in Chicago.


I also hope that Cougar Town is funny tonight because I could use the laugh.

Focus

I like this recent post from Mark's Daily Apple. One of the many things I like about Crossfit is that I usually can't let my mind wander when I'm there, and if I do let it wander I miss some sort of direction or can't lift the weight I want to lift. 


I'm a pretty distracted person. I'm distracted by screens and websites. I wish I was distracted by smart things, like books, but I can't seem to concentrate long enough to finish this one lately, even though I know it's fairly brilliant. Instead my mind wanders to decisions I've made in my life and whether I'm making the right ones lately. Just so distracted these days. If I don't go to Crossfit, I'll just sit and think and over-analyze. That's never the right decision.


I don't own a smart phone because I don't want to be one of those people sitting across from you at a table looking at their phone. That's annoying. I have a very dumb phone, but it allows me to call my mom and my sisters, and that's enough for me. In the past, I would text or talk while driving, but I haven't done that for years. I even try to avoid looking at the phone while I'm walking, which seems to be how most people get around these days. I have also not walked into any walls lately or tripped over my feet. Not recently.


It bothers me how distracted people have become. I used to zone out on the elliptical reading US Weekly and watching SportsCenter. Always just zoning out, not really in the present. I can't do that for tomorrow's workout - Jackie. I'm pretty slow at rowing, and if I zone out, I'll just sit there rowing while everyone else has moved onto pull-ups, then I'll be the last one doing pull-ups. Crossfit has helped me in a lot of ways, and although you can't always see it, it's definitely made me more present in my life.

Habits

I'm able to laugh at myself, which is a good thing, especially when I see pictures of myself looking ridiculous. After a certain point in Crossfit (probably after your second WOD), you realize that you're not going to look good doing anything there (some people do, but not many) and you just get over it. I brought my 13 year old niece to a WOD last spring and she was mortified. Yes, we look silly. We're used to it.

I know - Flying Monkey. Yes, my niece liked this picture.

So on Saturday, the lovely April showed up with her camera and took some pictures of us doing thrusters and pull-ups! Great! Actually, it was pretty awesome, and so is she, but I noticed something that is apparent in the above picture too...

Didn't get this chest-to-bar. Shocking.

Didn't get this one either.

But I can at least lift the weight. Wait - what am I doing with my mouth?

I even do it while I'm judging!

My sisters, my mom, and I all do the same thing with our mouths. And I've made fun of my sister Jessie before but as is apparent here, I do the exact same thing. When we're thinking hard, it shows. I was just thinking too hard about those pull-ups. And judging. And everything. But that's OK.

It's a good thing I can laugh about those pull-ups. Oh, it's a good thing.

Preparing to Kick Ass

Usually, we find out about our workouts the night before we do them. I've known about tomorrow's for more than a week, and I'm really excited about it.


The Games WOD for this week is an evil version of Fran, an AMRAP of 7 minutes with...

65 pound Thruster, 3 reps

3 Chest to bar Pull-ups

65 pound Thruster, 6 reps

6 Chest to bar Pull-ups

65 pound Thruster, 9 reps

9 Chest to bar Pull-ups

65 pound Thruster, 12 reps

12 Chest to bar Pull-ups

65 pound Thruster, 15 reps

15 Chest to bar Pull-ups

65 pound Thruster, 18 reps

18 Chest to bar Pull-ups

65 pound Thruster, 21 reps

21 Chest to bar Pull-ups…

This will go one of two ways for me. Either I'll do my 3 thrusters and spend 6:30 trying to get a chest-to-bar pull-up. Or I will get way more rounds than I expected. Last week, I set my expectations pretty low and after the fact, wish I had set them higher because I could have done better. This week, I'm setting my goal to get through the round of 9. That would be a pretty big accomplishment for me.

If it was just regular pull-ups, then the thrusters would be the problem. But these aren't regular pull-ups. You actually have to hit the bar with your chest. As I found out yesterday, I can get the height, but I can't seem to get close enough to the bar. It's that stupid fear of hitting my head on something, or bruising, or maybe I just can't figure out the logistics. I don't know. But I will give this one an all out effort tomorrow. I will be so excited when 4:30 rolls around. I don't know why - thrusters + pull-ups = pain. But I want to do it.

That bar won't know what hit it! 

Zumba?

I'm going to preface this by saying that I'm sure I would have a good time doing Zumba. I used to take those kinds of classes. Heck, I might even get a good workout!

But this post is not about Zumba. It's about gender roles and assumptions.

I try not to talk about work online. I know it's not a good idea. But something stopped me in my tracks today and I had to address it. In short, some students put together a brochure for fitness activities here on campus. They divided it into two categories: male-centered and female-centered. Guess where weight training went? Guess where Zumba was listed? After their presentation, I asked if these categories were determined by their group or the college and they said they did it. They're young guys. Is this what we're teaching them?

I never went to Curves or any other female-centered gym. Yes, there is something to be said for Girl Power, but if we're all about feminism, shouldn't we work out and do the same things as men? Sure, I felt intimidated when I first started Crossfit and I would be the only girl there on a heavy lifting day. You know what I did? I got stronger! 

I love Crossfit because women are generally treated equally as men (despite some remarks here and there). It doesn't seem like it's that way in the overall fitness world. What do you think?

I almost told that group of guys that I was sure I could do more pull-ups than the three of them put together. We'll see.

Other Thoughts

I've decided to resurrect (ha! on Easter) my other blog. I looked through it and didn't find anything too incriminating and really didn't want to post about the end of the world on my Crossfit blog. My other blog shouldn't be interesting to anyone, but it is what it is. I read through and realized I certainly was worried about turning 30. That's not really the case anymore.

Standards

About 6 weeks ago, I set a PR for my clean - 100 lbs. That was a good milestone for me.


Today, I cleaned that weight 25 times.


Crossfit HQ has been releasing a WOD a week for the Open, in which they're determining who will make it to the Regionals, and then the Games. Most of us signed up knowing that we really wouldn't make it to Regionals, and when I signed up I was questioning why I even wasted the $10. But I love it.


The first week, the WOD was double unders and snatches (or ground-to-overhead) 55 lbs. When I saw that, I thought, "I can do that." And that's the point. I got a few rounds - the bar was pretty heavy after that intense cardio. But the really great part of that WOD was seeing all these athletes at my box getting their first double under. 


The second WOD involved push-ups, a big barrier for so many women. Their standards were pretty strict too - keep your body straight, hands off the ground at the bottom. That was by far my best WOD.  But more importantly, so many people did more push-ups than they usually do. Good stuff.


The following week was tough - 110 lb. squat clean and jerk. I've mentioned this before. It was awesome that I finally got that squat clean, even if I only posted 1 rep for that WOD. I'm still in it!


Last week was just irritating - 60 odd burpees, 30 90lb. Overhead Squats, 10 muscle ups. Now they're starting to weed out the weak ones. I did my burpees. My Overhead Squats are terrible and I didn't even attempt it. But I'm still in it!


This week, the WOD is 

5 Power Cleans (100 lbs.)

10 Toes to Bar

15 Wall Balls (14 lbs.)

When I saw that, I made myself worry about the Toes to Bar and Wall Balls. I didn't let myself think about the cleans. I figured my hands would get all torn up from the Toes to Bar. But when I tried them yesterday, oddly enough, I was fine. I could totally do them. I know I couldn't do them 6 months ago, but I could now. I practiced cleaning a lighter weight. Keep it close to the thighs. Explode with the hips. OK.


Cleans are a weird move. I've heard the explanation a hundred times. I've practiced so many times. But I blank out during heavy WODs. I have the strength, I know this, I just have to get under the bar.


And I did. My first 5 came pretty easily. I set pretty low goals for myself on this one and now I wish I hadn't. On my first set of wall balls, one of them came down right on my left thumb, bending it back. That still hurts. But I could have gone faster. I could have done more. *


But I made it through 4 full rounds, and 5 cleans and 1 toes to bar. I missed some reps. The Games require standards, which I completely appreciate. All of my wall balls didn't make it. They didn't count. I wasted time. I missed a couple toes to bar (I think everyone heard it when I missed). But those shouldn't count. We should have standards. We need to get it right.


What I love about the Games is that if this WOD came up in a normal day, I would never do it RX. 100 lb. cleans? No way! But I had to today in order to get a score for the Games, so I did it.


Even with my sore thumb and my bruised collarbones, I'm considering doing this again on Saturday. I shouldn't. Oh, I know I shouldn't. Why do I do this?

That's why. Yes, I won the Crossfit March Madness. This was taken right after (OK, if Sam and I were really arm wrestling, honestly, I know). But you know what's great about this? All those people in the background who - after a really intense WOD - volunteered to do this one with us. They didn't have to, but they did it. And there was a big group of people cheering all of us on. That is awesome. And that's why I'll be at Crossfit on Saturday, definitely cheering, and if I don't come to my senses, competing.


*There's a common misconception that I don't like people cheering for me. This is false. I don't like the disappointment in people's voices when I can't get a rep. Also, I know my limitations. I can only get so many pull-ups at a time. Cheer on!

Mantra

LOST WOD:

(AMRAP 108 minutes)

Sprint (distance will change depending on what's  chasing you. You may rest if you find a place to hide for a couple minutes)

Rope Climb (to  escape the polar bears)

Sled Drag (to move your shelter. must do this if the Others find you)

Get to the top of a large hill as fast as you can, but it's OK to wander down when you don't get reception

Sledgehammer Swings (RX is shirtless, because that's how Sawyer does it)

Row (Try to do 1K, but you might not make it that far)

Don't look at the clock. It might move forward or backwards at any given time.

Change

A slideshow of pictures ran through my computer this morning, and I saw one that changed everything. It's a picture of me and my nephew Ben that was taken a few years ago.

Ugh. OK. I may take that down by the end of the day. I hate this picture. I hate it because I wanted a really great picture of me and Ben (he's an awesome kid. We roll on the same wavelength). But that's not me? Right? Is that how I really looked? I know I wasn't big but it just looked ... unlike me. Unlike what I thought of myself. And I know I didn't always look like that because I had just taken a picture with my niece

And I look moderately fine there. But that picture of me and Ben, that was when I felt like I had to do something. I was unhappy with all of the pictures of me. I didn't find Crossfit until a year later, but this was taken after a year of Crossfit 

That's more like it. Nate's almost as tall as me. Ben has the crazy tooth that fell out about 15 minutes later, and I'm happy. If you're unhappy with how you look or how you live, change it.


Yep. I totally miss my family.


As an aside, doesn't Crater Lake look completely unreal? That place is like another world. (It's rainy and grey today and I'm dreaming of other places)

This Is Pretty Much What We Do at CrossFit

Seriously. This is what we do.

The Mental Games

Every Tuesday, Crossfit releases a new WOD for the Crossfit Games. This Tuesday was week 3, and when I saw the WOD my heart sunk a little. So far I've been able to RX the game WODs and put up pretty average scores. This week, they went heavy. For ladies, this meant cleaning 110 pounds, squatting, then getting it overhead (and getting as many reps as you can in 5 minutes, but this didn't really matter in my case). I can squat that weight, but my max clean to that point was 100 pounds, and I think I've gotten 95 overhead before. My goal was to get one round, which would be a PR.

When I went in on Thursday, we practiced the movements for a while. Then we started adding weight. I practiced with 35, 65, 85, 105 pounds. By the time we got to 105, I was pretty discouraged. This was so much weight. And that was the point. They're looking for strong people. My partner went first and she did awesome. She was able to squat clean it and she eventually got it overhead, then squat cleaned it again. By the time my turn came around, my head was out of it completely. I tried and tried for 5 minutes to lift that weight, and I just couldn't get myself under it. I had told myself I couldn't do it, and guess what, I couldn't. I wasn't even that frustrated because I knew that was really heavy for me. I was pretty ambivalent about trying again today.

But I did. I came in, stretched, kept to myself. I started adding weight to a bar. I was able to clean 105 warming up, which was a new PR for me. My goal was to get something on the board. I didn't want to show up and not get it again. When the clock started, I picked it up a few times and came real close. Then another woman ran over, said she had the same trouble the other day, and told me to explode coming up. So I did this. We talk about our hips a lot in Crossfit, so instead of just standing and trying to lift a lot of weight, I exploded. And it worked! I cleaned 110 pounds, then squatted. I got my one rep! And so many people cheered when I got it! I tried going overhead, but it was not in the cards. But now I have something on the board. I'm still in it!

My coach said he'd never seen somebody so determined. I disagree with that. I see it all the time, almost every day.

I've dealt with some pretty debilitating depression my whole life. Currently, it comes and goes. I actually went off my medication at the beginning of the year. I know it's a chemical imbalance, but sometimes I just want to see myself for who I am and try to deal with it. A few weeks ago, it got pretty bad. Most people love free time - I don't. I'm not good on my own and left with so many choices, I can become paralyzed. I feel guilty for not writing. I feel guilty for not doing a lot of things I know I should be doing. Anyway, some people had noticed that I was hanging around Crossfit a lot, after my class was over. But where else am I going to see awesome people do amazing things every day? Seriously. 

Crossfit doesn't cure depression. But I'd hate to think of where I'd be without it. 

Competing

I'm a competitive person by nature, but not when it comes to Crossfit. I know better. I may be one of the biggest baseball fans currently living in the northwest, and I will talk about how awesome the Tigers are to anyone who will listen, but I am not joining the softball team this year. Newsflash: I'm not athletically-inclined. I hate playing team sports. I feel bad for the other members of my team. Crossfit tends to bring out the competitiveness with some people, but not me. I'll look at a few other people's scores sometimes and see if I can beat them, but I'm really trying to beat myself. 

But now I find myself in the midst of 2 crossfit competitions - The Crossfit Games and our own March Madness. The Games are kind of a big deal. They're trying to find the fittest people in the world. They usually hold sectionals, then regionals, then the games, but Crossfit is getting SO big that they're doing the Open this year. They release a workout each week for 6 weeks and if you want to compete, you can do the workout and submit your score and see how you rank. Top 60 men and women in each region go to regionals. So why am I competing? I don't know.

I've done OK with both the workouts so far. I made the mistake of doing the second one again today. I did it on Thursday and I did fine. I don't know what I was thinking doing it again. 15 box jumps per round X 7 rounds on Thursday and 6 rounds today = some pretty sore calves. And I'm just doing this for fun!

The real competition is on Monday. We've been doing this same workout for the past 6 weeks:

5 burpees

10 pull-ups

15 squats

Short sprint

 As many rounds in this weird time structure. When we started, I was really focused on getting my pull-ups for real. I knew I'd get less rounds than other people, but I also knew we'd be doing this every week and I could really work on them. The first week, my competitor didn't show. I got through the next week easily (solid improvement). Last week, I was sick. I was just really run down and feeling awful. To make it worse, we had to do heavy kettlebell swings before the workout. I got 10 less reps than the week before.  I was banking on my competitor not showing up. He did, but he was also sick and got 23 less reps. I'm in the Final Four! I do have a tough competitor this week - someone who's been making a lot of gains the past month or so, but I will do my best. I'm in it to win it!

I really wish we'd have a Crossfit Trivia contest. That is something I could win easily. EASILY!!!!

You won't see #8 in Right Field this year.