I did not intend for this blog post to be about nutrition. This blog post was supposed to be a testament to CrossFit, and to how I manage not to run for 2 months, and I can go out and run 6 miles with no problems. I hate running but somehow, I manage to get through it. CrossFit is the reason for that. But this post isn't about that.
I try not to tell people how to run their lives. I'm not the best person to do that. BUT when I hear someone tell a group of people misleading information about nutrition - and not just people, but athletes - I have to speak up.
So I did this really great run this morning out at a winery. It's a run for women. We go out for an hour and run, then come back and have mimosas and waffles. Nice. They had a speaker from a popular fitness place in Eugene to talk about nutrition. She answered a few questions and I had to start writing down what she was saying. It was the complete opposite of what I heard at the Whole 30 seminar last week.
Q: What's a good recovery meal?
A: Grilled PB&J with chocolate chips
Q: What's a good snack?
A: String cheese
Q: What's a good pre-run snack?
A: Juice/bananas/yogurt
Other foods she recommended:
Pancakes with cottage cheese
Tortillas with Peanut Butter
English Muffin with Jam
Oatmeal
My awesome friend wanted to ask her about paleo, but I said no, wait. I want to see if she mentions vegetables. And finally FINALLY she said something about carbs coming in the form of fruits and vegetables.
Look, I tried to be polite (not mean). I may have rolled my eyes. I may have gasped. As one friend said, I looked like I was twitching. I waited until she was wrapping up, and I raised my hand (see, polite), and said, "If you want to eat bagels and oatmeal and cereal, that's fine. But you can get your carbs from veggies and you should get them from veggies."
This is what I wanted to say:
FDA Official: "Just Eat A Goddamn Vegetable"
But I was polite. I want that to be noted. Me. Polite. Nice.
We also got free 2 week passes to this popular fitness place. Anyone up for getting kicked out of a gym?
11.10.11
The Final Cost
I have been tracking my food spending this month to see if healthy eating really costs more. When I started, I had a conservative estimate of $500 that I spent on food the month before, including going out and eating. So here is the final total.
Costco 10/1
Market of Choice 10/3
Total: $29.83
Trader Joe's 10/5
Total: $13.62
Trader Joe's 10/9
Total: $4.18
Market of Choice
Total: $24.19
Awesome dinner at Lou's: $5
Coffee through October: I'm guessing $20. It's been a rough month.
Whole 30 Grand Total: $450.01
So yes, I saved money this month. And yes, it was exhausting cooking for myself ALL THE TIME!! I am proud of myself for eating all my food (meaning I didn't end up tossing a lot of it). I still have a lot of fish that I don't know what to do with. I miss going out. I know if I spent more time planning, I'd spend less. I'm not a robot. BUT I ate clean all month and I spent $50 less. So there. I proved my point.
Costco 10/1
- Avocados
- Pineapple
- Salad Mix
- Probably something else I can't remember
Total: $15.00
Market of Choice 10/3
- Steak
- Mineral Water (x2)
- Dates (bulk)
- Honeycrisp Apples (a few)
- Cantaloupe
- Lemons
- Walnuts (bulk)
- Eggs
- Yams (x2)
Total: $29.83
Trader Joe's 10/5
- Ground Turkey
- Bell Pepper
- Dates
- Applesauce
- Raisins
Total: $13.62
Trader Joe's 10/9
- Dates
- Lemons
Total: $4.18
Market of Choice
- Broccoli
- Squash
- Frozen Blueberries
- Larabar (x2)
- Carrots (1 lb.)
- Salsa
- Eggs
- Coconut Milk (x2)
- Steak
Total: $24.19
Awesome dinner at Lou's: $5
Coffee through October: I'm guessing $20. It's been a rough month.
Whole 30 Grand Total: $450.01
So yes, I saved money this month. And yes, it was exhausting cooking for myself ALL THE TIME!! I am proud of myself for eating all my food (meaning I didn't end up tossing a lot of it). I still have a lot of fish that I don't know what to do with. I miss going out. I know if I spent more time planning, I'd spend less. I'm not a robot. BUT I ate clean all month and I spent $50 less. So there. I proved my point.
9.10.11
Then We Came to the End
Yesterday I attended the Whole 9 Foundations workshop. I learned all sorts of good stuff. I finally learned why grains are bad (they contain phytic acid, which prevents minerals from other foods from absorbing into your body, right?) I learned that milk is the ideal food for a rapidly growing baby mammal (good thing I don't drink a lot of milk). I also learned that I will do the Whole 30 differently when I do it again in January.
I may have a tendency to get obsessive about certain things (LOST, baseball, my eyebrows). So when I'm part of a very strict program where I have to think about what I'm eating ALL THE TIME, I may get a little, uh, obsessive. Or paranoid. Or resentful of people enjoying food I can't eat. Or all of the above.
I have not eaten a lot of processed foods in the last month. I've pretty much only eaten what I've bought (I can't trust anyone!). So when my travelling companion, who is like the most awesome person ever, offered me plantain chips from Trader Joe's and showed me the ingredients, including sunflower oil, which was verified by other people sitting there, I ate some. And I felt bad about it. Then, a couple hours later in the workshop, our fearless leader lumped sunflower oils in with other vegetable oils in the 'avoid' list. OK, it said 'minimal' or something. I get scared. I scribble on the back of some paper, "Did you just sabotage me with the plantain chips?" I worry. Day 27 and I have failed.
But I didn't fail. We asked at the break. And I think Melissa, who runs the Whole 30, was a little freaked out with our obsessiveness. I'm fine. And so are the people who've had salsa with citric acid. Geez. She doesn't want us to be hermits for a month (like me). Deep breath. I'm fine.
So many people are fine. Seriously, this Whole 30 thing has brought together so many people at our box. I hope to post their awesome stories of success soon, because, unfortunately, I don't know how much I'll have to report about myself.
Positives:
Not Quite Negatives, but Certainly Not Positive:
And maybe that's because of a few factors. I didn't eat terrible before. I haven't eaten a lot of processed foods in the past couple years, so I may not need to reset so much. I have been stressed out big time lately. I didn't really follow the guidelines as much as I should have. In that regard, I mean eating pre- and post-WOD and having enough veggies or protein at each meal. I will change a lot of things next time I do Whole 30.
And holy cow, after we hit the road after the workshop yesterday, I felt my blood sugar drop (I realized I hadn't eaten in a while) and I made my wonderful travelling companion pull over so I could eat. We avoided a pretty ugly situation. A lady's gotta eat.
Going Forward, For Us All
There is some fear among the Whole 30ers, who will wake up Wednesday morning free to eat whatever we want. We fear we might fall back into old habits pretty quickly. Here are my thoughts.
We don't always have to say no, but we don't always have to say yes. If you're faced with something that you know has been a food reward in the past, know that you've lived without it for 30 days. You don't have to live without it forever. Why do you want it this time?
More to come later in the week.
I may have a tendency to get obsessive about certain things (LOST, baseball, my eyebrows). So when I'm part of a very strict program where I have to think about what I'm eating ALL THE TIME, I may get a little, uh, obsessive. Or paranoid. Or resentful of people enjoying food I can't eat. Or all of the above.
I have not eaten a lot of processed foods in the last month. I've pretty much only eaten what I've bought (I can't trust anyone!). So when my travelling companion, who is like the most awesome person ever, offered me plantain chips from Trader Joe's and showed me the ingredients, including sunflower oil, which was verified by other people sitting there, I ate some. And I felt bad about it. Then, a couple hours later in the workshop, our fearless leader lumped sunflower oils in with other vegetable oils in the 'avoid' list. OK, it said 'minimal' or something. I get scared. I scribble on the back of some paper, "Did you just sabotage me with the plantain chips?" I worry. Day 27 and I have failed.
But I didn't fail. We asked at the break. And I think Melissa, who runs the Whole 30, was a little freaked out with our obsessiveness. I'm fine. And so are the people who've had salsa with citric acid. Geez. She doesn't want us to be hermits for a month (like me). Deep breath. I'm fine.
So many people are fine. Seriously, this Whole 30 thing has brought together so many people at our box. I hope to post their awesome stories of success soon, because, unfortunately, I don't know how much I'll have to report about myself.
Positives:
- OK, I think my skin is a little clearer.
- I was told that I look thinner (although I don't feel thinner)
- I proved to myself that I can make my own food for a month.
- I did not cave and get take out or have a drink.
- I saved money (I'll share more this week)
Not Quite Negatives, but Certainly Not Positive:
- I've seriously sucked at workouts lately. We had one this morning that I should have flown through. I felt really out of shape and irritated with myself.
- I haven't changed certain habits (I'll plow through a bunch of dates in no time)
- I don't really feel any different.
And maybe that's because of a few factors. I didn't eat terrible before. I haven't eaten a lot of processed foods in the past couple years, so I may not need to reset so much. I have been stressed out big time lately. I didn't really follow the guidelines as much as I should have. In that regard, I mean eating pre- and post-WOD and having enough veggies or protein at each meal. I will change a lot of things next time I do Whole 30.
And holy cow, after we hit the road after the workshop yesterday, I felt my blood sugar drop (I realized I hadn't eaten in a while) and I made my wonderful travelling companion pull over so I could eat. We avoided a pretty ugly situation. A lady's gotta eat.
Going Forward, For Us All
There is some fear among the Whole 30ers, who will wake up Wednesday morning free to eat whatever we want. We fear we might fall back into old habits pretty quickly. Here are my thoughts.
We don't always have to say no, but we don't always have to say yes. If you're faced with something that you know has been a food reward in the past, know that you've lived without it for 30 days. You don't have to live without it forever. Why do you want it this time?
More to come later in the week.
3.10.11
The Variable
In science and in life (and in LOST), we know that we deal with constants
In the Whole 30, my constant has been food. I control it. I fix it. I know what I'm eating and why. So when we had a little Whole 30 meeting yesterday and everyone was talking about how great they felt and the PRs they were setting, I felt bad. I don't feel any different. I'm not setting PRs. Why isn't this working?
I started thinking about when you want something so bad (I want to change. I want to set PRs. I want to lose weight) .... if you want it too bad, it's just not going to happen (this tends to happen in other parts of my life).
But then I started looking at the bigger picture. I'm stressed out right now. While my living situation is helpful and fairly pleasant, I need to find my own place. It's super stressful.
But I know the situation will change. I know things will be fine. But I'm reassessing my last week of the Whole 30.
I love you, Penny!
and we have variables.In the Whole 30, my constant has been food. I control it. I fix it. I know what I'm eating and why. So when we had a little Whole 30 meeting yesterday and everyone was talking about how great they felt and the PRs they were setting, I felt bad. I don't feel any different. I'm not setting PRs. Why isn't this working?
I started thinking about when you want something so bad (I want to change. I want to set PRs. I want to lose weight) .... if you want it too bad, it's just not going to happen (this tends to happen in other parts of my life).
But then I started looking at the bigger picture. I'm stressed out right now. While my living situation is helpful and fairly pleasant, I need to find my own place. It's super stressful.
But I know the situation will change. I know things will be fine. But I'm reassessing my last week of the Whole 30.
- Say yes to social invites! My friend invited me to see the Blue Man Group tomorrow night. Normally, I'd be pretty indifferent, but I'm saying yes. It will be fun. I will enjoy it.
- Relax. This is more difficult than it should be for me. Take time to relax. Find ways to unwind, no matter what (gah! I'm terrible at relaxing!)
- Try not to eat so much fruit. What does this have to do with anything? It's more sugar than I should be eating. I need more detox.
- Don't work out so much. If I'm working out 5 days a week and not improving, maybe I should just calm down.
And honestly, the play-offs aren't helping. The 9th inning of the game yesterday was SUPER stressful. And now the Yankees have tied it up again.
Deep breaths.
1.10.11
I've Lost Track of the Days
I do know that we have a week and a half to go, and I will finish this no matter what. I'm not having epiphanies like some people. I'm not feeling all shiny and new like some people. But I am recognizing habits and tendencies, which is where I will gain the most benefit from this program.
First, I started teaching this week. When I teach, I know I'll be gone all day. I pack accordingly. I've been great on these days. It's the days that I don't teach, where I go to the office for my other job, that I've gotten lazy. Either I don't think about lunch in time or I know that I can go home at lunch, so I've ended up not packing anything. This is bad. Plan ahead. Be prepared.
Second, I'm stressed out. I haven't been sleeping well this week. I have bags under my eyes right now, even though I did get plenty of sleep last night. I'm in a temporary living situation that is great, but with each day I realize I need to figure out my new living situation. This has become a problem. I'd love to live on my own. Truthfully, I can't really afford it right now. I may have a lead on a potential roommate, but I'm still not sure. Finding a decent rental in Eugene is proving to be ridiculous. I need to find the right space for me and my dog, and I need to find it soon. It's very much on my mind.
So the positive from the stress is that I'm not reaching for ice cream or wine. BUT I also went to CrossFit 5 times this week. Is it healthy for me to do that? Sure it's exercise, but maybe too much. Am I just replacing one habit with another? Escaping from reality at the gym? It wouldn't be the first time.
AND, the Tigers game last night was postponed. Come on! They can build a huge crazy expensive stadium in New York and not put a retractable roof on it? Stupid Yankees! The great Verlander vs. Sabathia match-up everyone was waiting for lasted one whole inning. Grrr!
So the positives. I continue to make my own food, which is good for me. Jen gave us this recipe for Sausage ... holy cow it's good! I made it last weekend and just made another batch this morning. It's delicious and I know what went into it because I made it. And it has to be easy if I made it.
I need to eat more veggies. I know this. I picked some up today. I will do better. My most consistent form of veggies has come from the salsa I put on my eggs. But I bought leafy stuff and I will eat it.
My biggest weakness, besides the veggies, is when I do a really hard workout and then I have to go to the store hungry. This is when I would go get take out. I have not done that yet. I've been good. I've made my own food. After the 30 days, I'll remember that I did this and I will try not to stop at Ron's Island Grill so often. I will try.
Shopping (a short list this week):
Market of Choice (9/28 - post-workout)
Total: $15.45
Trader Joe's (10/1)
Total: $26.14
Coffee throughout the week: probably about $8
Whole 30 total: $338.19
And yes, this is just for one person. And I am spending considerably less than last month. BUT I miss going out. I really, really do. I would love to have an evening out with friends and good food. I've had some interesting conversations with friends about my fear of not being fun if I'm not drinking. (I could do a whole post about this) I know I don't have to go out as much as I did before, and I don't have to get take out as much as I did before. I know this Whole 30 thing is hardcore. I know it's good to sit with whatever feelings I have that would make me want to eat ice cream, or have a glass of wine. I will take this with me going forward.
First, I started teaching this week. When I teach, I know I'll be gone all day. I pack accordingly. I've been great on these days. It's the days that I don't teach, where I go to the office for my other job, that I've gotten lazy. Either I don't think about lunch in time or I know that I can go home at lunch, so I've ended up not packing anything. This is bad. Plan ahead. Be prepared.
Second, I'm stressed out. I haven't been sleeping well this week. I have bags under my eyes right now, even though I did get plenty of sleep last night. I'm in a temporary living situation that is great, but with each day I realize I need to figure out my new living situation. This has become a problem. I'd love to live on my own. Truthfully, I can't really afford it right now. I may have a lead on a potential roommate, but I'm still not sure. Finding a decent rental in Eugene is proving to be ridiculous. I need to find the right space for me and my dog, and I need to find it soon. It's very much on my mind.
So the positive from the stress is that I'm not reaching for ice cream or wine. BUT I also went to CrossFit 5 times this week. Is it healthy for me to do that? Sure it's exercise, but maybe too much. Am I just replacing one habit with another? Escaping from reality at the gym? It wouldn't be the first time.
AND, the Tigers game last night was postponed. Come on! They can build a huge crazy expensive stadium in New York and not put a retractable roof on it? Stupid Yankees! The great Verlander vs. Sabathia match-up everyone was waiting for lasted one whole inning. Grrr!
So the positives. I continue to make my own food, which is good for me. Jen gave us this recipe for Sausage ... holy cow it's good! I made it last weekend and just made another batch this morning. It's delicious and I know what went into it because I made it. And it has to be easy if I made it.
I need to eat more veggies. I know this. I picked some up today. I will do better. My most consistent form of veggies has come from the salsa I put on my eggs. But I bought leafy stuff and I will eat it.
My biggest weakness, besides the veggies, is when I do a really hard workout and then I have to go to the store hungry. This is when I would go get take out. I have not done that yet. I've been good. I've made my own food. After the 30 days, I'll remember that I did this and I will try not to stop at Ron's Island Grill so often. I will try.
Shopping (a short list this week):
Market of Choice (9/28 - post-workout)
- Acorn Squash
- Dates (bulk)
- Apples (honeycrisp x 3)
- Salad mix (bulk)
- Organic baby carrots
- Cantaloupe
- Ground Beef
Total: $15.45
Trader Joe's (10/1)
- Frozen Berries
- Frozen Blueberries
- Ground Turkey
- Eggs
- Canned pumpkin (x2)
- Brussel Sprouts
- Arugula
- Lettuce
- Avocados (x2)
Total: $26.14
Coffee throughout the week: probably about $8
Whole 30 total: $338.19
And yes, this is just for one person. And I am spending considerably less than last month. BUT I miss going out. I really, really do. I would love to have an evening out with friends and good food. I've had some interesting conversations with friends about my fear of not being fun if I'm not drinking. (I could do a whole post about this) I know I don't have to go out as much as I did before, and I don't have to get take out as much as I did before. I know this Whole 30 thing is hardcore. I know it's good to sit with whatever feelings I have that would make me want to eat ice cream, or have a glass of wine. I will take this with me going forward.
25.9.11
The Halfway Point (almost)
How I Feel: It changes day to day. I felt great coming into Crossfit on Monday. I had spent the day in English Department meetings and I hadn't thought about teaching in months and I was truly excited about it. I felt happy Tuesday morning. I just ... felt happy. I love looking at this when I'm wandering around during a break at work:
I was walking around the other day and saw that and smiled because it was a beautiful day. Other days I'm not so great. Like today, I don't know. It rained, which is good. But I'm feeling kind of bummed out right now. Don't know why. I've also felt super-awkward in social situations lately. Not totally new, but kind of annoying.
Also for the first time I started maybe possibly potentially feeling leaner. I don't know. Not today. Today I made this for 'brunch'
That's pretty starchy for me. Sweet potatoes and bananas? Geez! I've been full all day. (Yes, that's the Tigers game in the background. Yes, the playoffs start next weekend. Yes, the Tigers need to make it past the first round if I want to have a beer and cheer them on. Yes, I think they will make it.)
What I Fear: My biggest accomplishment in all of this is that I'm making my own food and not getting take out. I love Ron's Island Grill and a good Yumm bowl. The Whole 30 is hardcore. I'm not going out to eat at all this month (until I have to travel in a couple weeks). I don't trust anyone! I'm not afraid of binging when we're done, but I am worried that I'll go back to old habits. How long does it take to get over being lazy?
Challenges Ahead: I start teaching on Tuesday, which means I'll be gone all day (Tuesdays and Thursdays) between 7:30 and 4 and attempting to Crossfit straight from teaching (and driving). Which means I need to be a super planner. I boiled some eggs tonight. I don't have a ton of 'snacking' veggies in the fridge, so that may be a problem. But I need to be ready for snack, lunch, and pre-workout snack. Can't Crossfit on an empty stomach.
Crossfit Thoughts: I worked out 5 days in a row this past week. Maybe that's overkill. Whatev. I can handle it. And on my fifth day, I PRed on my clean and jerk. FINALLY! I've been trying to get 110lbs. overhead since April. I was sore most of the week from excessive front squats on Monday. Also got a rope climb for the first time but that was more skill-oriented. Not ready to attribute anything to change in eating. Feel some more PRs coming on soon.
This seemed to be the week that people ate everything in front of me - cookies, ice cream, whatever. That ice cream sounded good. No real cravings to report. My mind is set on finishing this.
Here are my grocery trips for the week:
Market of Choice (9/18)
Total: $18.25
Trader Joe's (9/21)
Total: $11.59
Trader Joe's (9/23)
Total: $14.83
Market of Choice (9/25)
Total: $41.08
Coffee throughout week: $6.50
Dinner at Gabe's/Crystal's: $5.00
Whole 30 Total: $288.60
And I think I'm done for a while as far as groceries go. I'm going to use what I have and make it through the week, at least. I still have frozen chicken and fish I need to use. I'm tired of salad. I need a break from that. I also have access to fresh veggies that I need to take advantage of. Obviously, with all the spices purchased, I'm following a recipe. Time to be more adventurous, especially if I'm going to carry this forward on day 31.
I was walking around the other day and saw that and smiled because it was a beautiful day. Other days I'm not so great. Like today, I don't know. It rained, which is good. But I'm feeling kind of bummed out right now. Don't know why. I've also felt super-awkward in social situations lately. Not totally new, but kind of annoying.
Also for the first time I started maybe possibly potentially feeling leaner. I don't know. Not today. Today I made this for 'brunch'
What I Fear: My biggest accomplishment in all of this is that I'm making my own food and not getting take out. I love Ron's Island Grill and a good Yumm bowl. The Whole 30 is hardcore. I'm not going out to eat at all this month (until I have to travel in a couple weeks). I don't trust anyone! I'm not afraid of binging when we're done, but I am worried that I'll go back to old habits. How long does it take to get over being lazy?
Challenges Ahead: I start teaching on Tuesday, which means I'll be gone all day (Tuesdays and Thursdays) between 7:30 and 4 and attempting to Crossfit straight from teaching (and driving). Which means I need to be a super planner. I boiled some eggs tonight. I don't have a ton of 'snacking' veggies in the fridge, so that may be a problem. But I need to be ready for snack, lunch, and pre-workout snack. Can't Crossfit on an empty stomach.
Crossfit Thoughts: I worked out 5 days in a row this past week. Maybe that's overkill. Whatev. I can handle it. And on my fifth day, I PRed on my clean and jerk. FINALLY! I've been trying to get 110lbs. overhead since April. I was sore most of the week from excessive front squats on Monday. Also got a rope climb for the first time but that was more skill-oriented. Not ready to attribute anything to change in eating. Feel some more PRs coming on soon.
This seemed to be the week that people ate everything in front of me - cookies, ice cream, whatever. That ice cream sounded good. No real cravings to report. My mind is set on finishing this.
Here are my grocery trips for the week:
Market of Choice (9/18)
- Almond Butter
- Eggs
- Salsa
- Steak
- Ground Beef
Total: $18.25
Trader Joe's (9/21)
- Persian Cucumbers
- Salad Mix
- Kale (yuck. I'm done with kale)
- Spinach
- Apples (4)
- Bananas (3)
Total: $11.59
Trader Joe's (9/23)
- Eggs
- Cantaloupe (yum. I love cantaloupe)
- Avocados (2)
- Persian Cucumbers
- Salad Mix
- Bell Peppers (organic)
Total: $14.83
Market of Choice (9/25)
- Steak
- Almond Butter
- Cumin (bulk)
- Salsa
- Canned Organic Pumpkin (2)
- Ground Turkey
- Ground Ginger (bulk)
- Eggs
- Apples (4)
- Onion Powder (bulk)
- Oregano (bulk)
- Crushed Red Pepper (bulk)
- Poultry Seasoning (bulk)
- Frozen Blueberries
- Coconut Milk (2)
- Walnuts (bulk)
Total: $41.08
Coffee throughout week: $6.50
Dinner at Gabe's/Crystal's: $5.00
Whole 30 Total: $288.60
And I think I'm done for a while as far as groceries go. I'm going to use what I have and make it through the week, at least. I still have frozen chicken and fish I need to use. I'm tired of salad. I need a break from that. I also have access to fresh veggies that I need to take advantage of. Obviously, with all the spices purchased, I'm following a recipe. Time to be more adventurous, especially if I'm going to carry this forward on day 31.
18.9.11
Sit With It
Currently, I'm sitting outside on a lovely Sunday afternoon. It's quiet. My dog is sniffing around the yard. The sun is out. It is, indeed, lovely. Normally, to make it more lovely, I'd have a glass of wine. Or some cheese and crackers. Or something classy (like me :p). But not today. I have water. I know I have food to cook tonight. I'm fine just sitting here, enjoying the day.
A wise woman I work out with did the Whole 30 for three months. She says one of the most significant effects it had on her was denying what she wanted. Most of us just eat what we want. We understand that bad choices will effect us later on, but we still eat what we want to eat. We have a bowl of ice cream, or popcorn, or protein shakes, or a glass of wine. But we don't need them.
I think a lot of Americans still have the kid mentality "I want, I want, I want" and then they get it. They have a hard day at work and think, 'A big plate of pasta would make me feel better.' It doesn't. Not really. 'Maybe this sugary coffee drink would do the trick.' No, not really. The problems will still be there.
The Whole 30 makes you sit with it. There have been a few times this week when I have felt stressed or sad or lonely and I wanted to eat or drink something, but I haven't. I would sit with it. And it's not easy to really feel those feelings.
I also had a couple times last week where I did eat when I wasn't hungry anymore. I was eating healthy, but I wanted to keep eating. The difference was that I knew what I was doing. I was hyper-aware of it. I'm hoping this will fade (the eating, not the awareness).
I was asked in a meeting today, by people who are older than me, how I'm so calm and collected and grown up at 33.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
(Um, I had to?) So obviously these people don't know me that well. But I felt I could connect it with this because I'm not (always) quick to react emotionally. I'm learning to think about it. Process it. Then react.
Food is something that can buffer all of that. It takes us out of the emotion just for a while. It helps us feel something else. It prevents us from processing what we need to process.
We're all doing this for different reasons. I realized yesterday that at the end of the 30 days, I'll be in my purest form. I won't have any alcohol, sugar, or junk. I also haven't been on any medication for a while. Who you see in a few weeks is who I really am. I don't want to make more out of this than it is, but I'm kind of excited to see who we all are in a few weeks.
A wise woman I work out with did the Whole 30 for three months. She says one of the most significant effects it had on her was denying what she wanted. Most of us just eat what we want. We understand that bad choices will effect us later on, but we still eat what we want to eat. We have a bowl of ice cream, or popcorn, or protein shakes, or a glass of wine. But we don't need them.
I think a lot of Americans still have the kid mentality "I want, I want, I want" and then they get it. They have a hard day at work and think, 'A big plate of pasta would make me feel better.' It doesn't. Not really. 'Maybe this sugary coffee drink would do the trick.' No, not really. The problems will still be there.
The Whole 30 makes you sit with it. There have been a few times this week when I have felt stressed or sad or lonely and I wanted to eat or drink something, but I haven't. I would sit with it. And it's not easy to really feel those feelings.
I also had a couple times last week where I did eat when I wasn't hungry anymore. I was eating healthy, but I wanted to keep eating. The difference was that I knew what I was doing. I was hyper-aware of it. I'm hoping this will fade (the eating, not the awareness).
I was asked in a meeting today, by people who are older than me, how I'm so calm and collected and grown up at 33.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
(Um, I had to?) So obviously these people don't know me that well. But I felt I could connect it with this because I'm not (always) quick to react emotionally. I'm learning to think about it. Process it. Then react.
Food is something that can buffer all of that. It takes us out of the emotion just for a while. It helps us feel something else. It prevents us from processing what we need to process.
We're all doing this for different reasons. I realized yesterday that at the end of the 30 days, I'll be in my purest form. I won't have any alcohol, sugar, or junk. I also haven't been on any medication for a while. Who you see in a few weeks is who I really am. I don't want to make more out of this than it is, but I'm kind of excited to see who we all are in a few weeks.
17.9.11
The Cost, Part Two
We are currently on Day 6 of the Whole 30. It's fine. It's a lot of thinking and a lot of deciding and a lot of mindfulness. It's good for us. Here's my grocery rundown, followed by my thoughts on this week.
Trader Joe's (9/13)
Total: $18.33
Notes from Trader Joe's: I like these Persian Cucumbers. They're super crunchy. But I probably don't need to buy them for the next few weeks due to gardens exploding around me. The bell peppers ... Well, when I cut one open, it didn't look quite right inside and I'm picky about how my food looks. The other one was fine.
Market of Choice (9/15)
Total: $10.45
Notes from MoC. This wasn't really a 'planned' trip. Thursday was rough. My stomach wasn't really feeling well pre-workout and I was just plain irritated post-workout ... and hungry. Regarding the salad mix from Market of Choice, I ended up tossing some of the salad I got from Costco. I just can't eat that much. I would rather buy the amount I need and not throw some out than buy more than I need and feel bad for not eating it. Give me a break here. I can only eat so much salad.
Coffee from Espresso stand (9/16): $2
WinCo (9/17)
Total: $11.09
Notes from WinCo: Wow, there is some bad hair in this place. Like, tight curly nastiness. Also noticed people buying cans of Hormel Chili and felt bad. Considering its location, not really worth the trip for me. I forgot about the almond butter because I didn't make a list. Managed to find a few organic veggies, but not enough to make it worthwhile. Also, dog food cost the same as in Target.
So after I went to WinCo, I was hungry and getting cranky and I was all the way across town. I considered going to the Saturday Market, which probably would have made me crankier. I wanted to get some steak to make for lunch and dinner. Maybe some more apples and broccoli. I was getting in a mood. Instead of going a little out of the way to Market of Choice, where I know I would have been able to get steak and whatever, I went to Trader Joe's.
Trade Joe's (9/17)
Total: $17.95
Notes on Trader Joe's: At WinCo, people move out of the way. At Trader Joe's (at least today), they wanted to stand in front of the food I wanted and look at every single little detail. Ugh, hippies. The only good thing about this trip was that it was at about the start of the game so it wasn't as busy as it would have been. I couldn't find a cut of steak that I wanted, I'm not a big fan of pork, so I had to go with chicken. I should have taken some of my frozen chicken out of the freezer yesterday, but I didn't. Planning!! Also, I didn't get the almond butter there because it said it was made in a plant that also processed soy. I'm just going to pretend that I'm allergic this month. It's a cleanse. It also means I'm almost out of almond butter. I may have to run to MoC later. It goes quick.
Total for this week: $59.82
Whole 30 Total: $186.35
Thoughts on Shopping: I need a list. I need to think about what I'm going to eat in the next few days. I knew this going in and this has been a weakness thus far. One step at a time. I'm making my own food. I'm saying no to things I would normally take. I'm trying. I'm learning. On the plus side, I'm eating all my food (except salad mix). This is big for me. My laziness sometimes results in waste, and I shouldn't do that. I know better.
Thoughts on My Life: So my big obstacle for the week is that I had to move out of my place mid week. This made for some interesting challenges. My kitchen was the last room to move. I had to make myself breakfast the morning I had to be out. I had to determine what pans and dishes I would need. When I was finished cleaning Thursday morning, it was around noon and I really wanted to go to Cafe Yumm and get a Yumm bowl. But I knew I had leftovers that I could heat up, and that's what I did. This week has been about choices.
Thoughts on How I Feel: Fine. I'm OK ... today. Thursday (day 4) was bad. My stomach was not happy. I had trouble sleeping earlier in the week, but I attribute that to stress. Some people have had similar reactions. Some people feel great! Wonderful! PRing all over the place! I know I'll get there. We all will. That's why this is a 30 day program. Feeling a little down today, but that's OK. It happens.
Thoughts Going Forward: Yes, now that I'm slightly stable (well, I'll have to move again soon), I'll have more of an opportunity to plan ahead (I didn't even have internet in the house before, so that will help enormously with planning).
It looks like people are eating some good food out there. I will not post pictures of mine because it doesn't look like food porn. Honestly, just making my own food and not grabbing a Luna bar is progress. It's big progress.
Trader Joe's (9/13)
- Organic Baby Spinach
- Ground Turkey
- Strawberries (1 lb)
- Persian Cucumbers
- Organic Applesauce - Unsweetened
- Red Bell Peppers
- Organic Gala Apples (3)
Total: $18.33
Notes from Trader Joe's: I like these Persian Cucumbers. They're super crunchy. But I probably don't need to buy them for the next few weeks due to gardens exploding around me. The bell peppers ... Well, when I cut one open, it didn't look quite right inside and I'm picky about how my food looks. The other one was fine.
Market of Choice (9/15)
- Steak
- Nutmeg (from bulk)
- Salad Mix ("bulk" produce?)
- Raisins (bulk)
- Eggs
Total: $10.45
Notes from MoC. This wasn't really a 'planned' trip. Thursday was rough. My stomach wasn't really feeling well pre-workout and I was just plain irritated post-workout ... and hungry. Regarding the salad mix from Market of Choice, I ended up tossing some of the salad I got from Costco. I just can't eat that much. I would rather buy the amount I need and not throw some out than buy more than I need and feel bad for not eating it. Give me a break here. I can only eat so much salad.
Coffee from Espresso stand (9/16): $2
WinCo (9/17)
- Organic Salad Mix
- Frozen Blueberries (not organic ... grrr!)
- Brazil Nuts (bulk, .23 lb.)
- Dates (bulk, .23 lb.)
- Kiwi x3
- Walnuts (bulk)
- Carrots, organic (1 lb)
Total: $11.09
Notes from WinCo: Wow, there is some bad hair in this place. Like, tight curly nastiness. Also noticed people buying cans of Hormel Chili and felt bad. Considering its location, not really worth the trip for me. I forgot about the almond butter because I didn't make a list. Managed to find a few organic veggies, but not enough to make it worthwhile. Also, dog food cost the same as in Target.
So after I went to WinCo, I was hungry and getting cranky and I was all the way across town. I considered going to the Saturday Market, which probably would have made me crankier. I wanted to get some steak to make for lunch and dinner. Maybe some more apples and broccoli. I was getting in a mood. Instead of going a little out of the way to Market of Choice, where I know I would have been able to get steak and whatever, I went to Trader Joe's.
Trade Joe's (9/17)
- Frozen Blueberries (organic, wish I would have waited)
- Chicken (ugh, shoot, this was just bad planning)
- Apples (gala, organic, x3)
- Cut Organic Broccoli (my splurge)
- 3lb Bag of Organic Sweet Potatoes
Total: $17.95
Notes on Trader Joe's: At WinCo, people move out of the way. At Trader Joe's (at least today), they wanted to stand in front of the food I wanted and look at every single little detail. Ugh, hippies. The only good thing about this trip was that it was at about the start of the game so it wasn't as busy as it would have been. I couldn't find a cut of steak that I wanted, I'm not a big fan of pork, so I had to go with chicken. I should have taken some of my frozen chicken out of the freezer yesterday, but I didn't. Planning!! Also, I didn't get the almond butter there because it said it was made in a plant that also processed soy. I'm just going to pretend that I'm allergic this month. It's a cleanse. It also means I'm almost out of almond butter. I may have to run to MoC later. It goes quick.
Total for this week: $59.82
Whole 30 Total: $186.35
Thoughts on Shopping: I need a list. I need to think about what I'm going to eat in the next few days. I knew this going in and this has been a weakness thus far. One step at a time. I'm making my own food. I'm saying no to things I would normally take. I'm trying. I'm learning. On the plus side, I'm eating all my food (except salad mix). This is big for me. My laziness sometimes results in waste, and I shouldn't do that. I know better.
Thoughts on My Life: So my big obstacle for the week is that I had to move out of my place mid week. This made for some interesting challenges. My kitchen was the last room to move. I had to make myself breakfast the morning I had to be out. I had to determine what pans and dishes I would need. When I was finished cleaning Thursday morning, it was around noon and I really wanted to go to Cafe Yumm and get a Yumm bowl. But I knew I had leftovers that I could heat up, and that's what I did. This week has been about choices.
Thoughts on How I Feel: Fine. I'm OK ... today. Thursday (day 4) was bad. My stomach was not happy. I had trouble sleeping earlier in the week, but I attribute that to stress. Some people have had similar reactions. Some people feel great! Wonderful! PRing all over the place! I know I'll get there. We all will. That's why this is a 30 day program. Feeling a little down today, but that's OK. It happens.
Thoughts Going Forward: Yes, now that I'm slightly stable (well, I'll have to move again soon), I'll have more of an opportunity to plan ahead (I didn't even have internet in the house before, so that will help enormously with planning).
It looks like people are eating some good food out there. I will not post pictures of mine because it doesn't look like food porn. Honestly, just making my own food and not grabbing a Luna bar is progress. It's big progress.
12.9.11
The Cost, Part One
If you know me, you know I generally have no problem telling
other people how to run their lives. As I get older, I get more honest. It is
time to be honest with myself.
I said I would document how much I spend on food this month.
I wanted to do this because so many people say that eating healthy is too
expensive. To have this mean anything, I had to look at how much I’ve spent on
food this past month so I could compare. It’s time to put things into
perspective.
- I shop at Market of Choice. I’ve tried going to Safeway, but organic fruit costs less at MoC and I trust the meat at MoC.
- I’m on my own now and still getting used to being completely on my own, i.e., buying food and necessities.
- It was my birthday this month. Lots of celebrating.
- I went out a lot this month – probably more than usual.
- But no excuses, right?
So after adding up my grocery and dining out expenses,
including random trips to MoC, drinks, ice cream, protein bars, lunch,
whatever, I came up with the rough estimate of: $500.
Which seems like a lot. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. (Maybe I should keep track of these things) I could tell you the exact
percentage of my paycheck that entails, but I do leave some things private. I
don’t like that total (and honestly, it’s probably more), and I’d like to
decrease it by 20%. It’s about $16.66 a day to feed me, drinks included. I can
do better.
So I had my first Whole 30 shopping trip yesterday. I
probably didn’t go out armed with as much of a plan as everyone else, but I did
have an idea of what I wanted to get. The first stop is a place I haven’t been
to in years.
Yesterday, I went to Costco. I am not interested in 99% of
what is in Costco. But I was curious to see if I could find anything on my
shopping list – I did! (and it helps to have a friend who has a Costco
membership who’s also doing the Whole 30)
Organic Tomato Paste – Ingredients – organic tomatoes.
Bingo! 12 pack split with superfriend. Cost =$3
Avocadoes – A big bag of them for $7.99. They’re not ripe
yet, but they will be someday!
A big bag of fish (Mahi Mahi to be exact) - $16.99. I’m not
sure what to do with them, but they’re frozen and individually wrapped. I know
I’m supposed to eat them.
A big bag of almonds - $9.79. 3#, I think. I divided them up
into Ziploc bags when I got home.
A big bag of garlic – split with superfriend. $2.40. If
anyone wants to make out soon, you might want to take a rain check. I have a
lot of garlic!
A big bag of lemons – split with superfriend. $3. Again, not
quite sure what I’m doing with all these lemons.
A big container of salad mix - $3.99. I know for sure that this
costs more at MoC, and the one I got is still organic – good! I need to eat all
this. I’m bad at eating my greens.
A lot of chicken - $21.92. OK, this was my big find of the
day. Costco has big packs of Foster Farms chicken that has 2 breasts per pouch
and like, 6 pouches … for $21.92. I cooked up a couple pouches last night and
put the rest in my freezer. This was a good deal.
Total Costco (food) expenditures: $69.08.
So I’ll be using a lot of lemons, garlic, avocadoes, and
chicken in the next week. I had to get something to go with all that, so onto
Market of Choice, where I can feel all uppity. Here’s what I got:
- Apples
- Almond butter
- Coconut Aminos (in lieu of Soy Sauce, will be trying these tonight)
- Sardines
- Kale
- Yams
- Bananas (3, they were on sale)
- Flaked coconut (from bulk section)
- Pistachios (from bulk section) (I ate some today, not all, which is a step in the right direction)
- Peaches
- Broccoli
- Sunflower seeds (bulk section)
- Bell Pepper
- Small steak
- Eggs (dozen)
- Balsamic Vinegar
- Coconut oil
- Red Curry Paste
- Coconut Milk (x2)
For a grand total of: $57.45
Total for the day: $126.53
Not bad for one day. I got a lot of the
oils/condiments/weird stuff I’ll be using the whole month. I’ll need to go back
in a few days and get some more produce. But I’m feeling good about this. I’m
also open to suggestions for other places to try (WinCo, Albertsons) … whatever
has the best deal for the best quality. Unless a fruit or vegetable has a
strong peel, I’ll probably want to get it organic. But I probably won’t want
another big shopping trip until payday at the end of the month. It takes a lot
to feed this shrinking girl.
7.9.11
Reset
The idea of this Whole 30 challenge is to reset your system. Get all the sugar and gunk out. I think many of us are taking this a few ways.
Yeah, we've been getting away with thinking we're all that because we show up at the box and we do our workouts and we PR sometimes and we're awesome. But some of us are not making the progress we'd like to make. So to those of us embarking on this, I suggest reading this classic Crossfit Journal article, "Getting off the Crack." I like what she says towards the end:
I'm not going to use this blog to chronicle what I'm eating, as I'm guessing what you're eating will look and probably taste better. Instead, I'm going to chronicle what I spend on food this next month. Americans use the excuse of cost to not eat healthy. I understand. I may have to look at what I've spent this past month to compare. I don't like doing that and I may guesstimate, but I'll try to figure it out. I do shop at Market of Choice. I don't even know what to do in a Safeway anymore. But you'll see what I spend, and hopefully, it will be about equal to what I spend on the junk.
And good luck to all of us - next week. Until then, the frozen yogurt shops will know me by name.
Yeah, we've been getting away with thinking we're all that because we show up at the box and we do our workouts and we PR sometimes and we're awesome. But some of us are not making the progress we'd like to make. So to those of us embarking on this, I suggest reading this classic Crossfit Journal article, "Getting off the Crack." I like what she says towards the end:
"I had never experienced so directly and consistently the practice of not giving up when it gets hard. Every time I entered my kitchen I had the opportunity to fail. It would have been so easy. But I didn’t, and I cannot describe emphatically enough the rewards—both physical and mental— that getting through that has brought to my life."It's a good read.
I'm not going to use this blog to chronicle what I'm eating, as I'm guessing what you're eating will look and probably taste better. Instead, I'm going to chronicle what I spend on food this next month. Americans use the excuse of cost to not eat healthy. I understand. I may have to look at what I've spent this past month to compare. I don't like doing that and I may guesstimate, but I'll try to figure it out. I do shop at Market of Choice. I don't even know what to do in a Safeway anymore. But you'll see what I spend, and hopefully, it will be about equal to what I spend on the junk.
And good luck to all of us - next week. Until then, the frozen yogurt shops will know me by name.
1.9.11
This is Such a Bad Idea
Seriously, do you realize how bad I eat? I know the Whole 30 is coming up. I know I've gained weight. I know what I'm going to have to do and how angry I'll be during this challenge. Knowing this, you know what I did yesterday after the workout? I went to get groceries ... when I was hungry. And guess what was on sale ... with coupons sitting in front of them?
You don't know how bad my willpower is. It's non-existent. I'm doing challenge for good reasons - to challenge myself, to feel better, yada, yada, yada...., but it will be tough. But most things worth doing are difficult, right?
The old blog has been revived - Eat Like You Mean It - as a support system, since we're not alone. I will be calling people for help with this. If I have your number, you'll hear from me. And I won't be happy.
The old blog has been revived - Eat Like You Mean It - as a support system, since we're not alone. I will be calling people for help with this. If I have your number, you'll hear from me. And I won't be happy.
29.8.11
The Whole 30
I've heard rumors of a nutrition challenge coming up in our box. Normally, I would not do it. Normally, I eat what I wanna eat. But, I'm going to do this one. Why?
Honestly, I kinda feel like a heifer lately.
Before you say anything, I know that I'm not a heifer. I know I don't look like a heifer. But I do feel like a heifer. And it's time for me to start making some progress in the box. So, I'm committing myself to the Whole 30.
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Here's what I like about it:
Here's what I don't like about it:
It's been a stressful summer for me. At times, I've been great with my eating. OK, there haven't been too many of these times. I need to lay off the booze for a while. And honestly, I need to challenge myself.
Here's what I'm most interested in finding out:
Challenges
I may need to think about this again.
Honestly, I kinda feel like a heifer lately.
Before you say anything, I know that I'm not a heifer. I know I don't look like a heifer. But I do feel like a heifer. And it's time for me to start making some progress in the box. So, I'm committing myself to the Whole 30.
Here's what I like about it:
- It's strict. It's not messing around. I like that. I need that. I'm not a 'moderation' kind of gal.
- It's whole food. Whole food is generally better than processed food.
- Other people will be doing this too.
- I need the discipline.
Here's what I don't like about it:
- There's a huge section on what I can't eat. (Don't tell me what I can't do!!!)
- I can't eat a lot of what I've been eating.
- I can't eat ice cream.
It's been a stressful summer for me. At times, I've been great with my eating. OK, there haven't been too many of these times. I need to lay off the booze for a while. And honestly, I need to challenge myself.
Here's what I'm most interested in finding out:
- Will my skin clear up? I hope so, because it's been a disaster this summer.
- Will I set some strength PRs? I hope so, because it's time.
- Will I break? I never stick to eating plans. Never!!! When I try, it's all I think about until I go to the freezer and get the aforementioned ice cream.
Challenges
- This will start next week. I need to move again in the next few weeks. Moving = stress and trying to find convenient food. Be prepared!!!
- I have like 5 bottles of wine in my fridge. Am I supposed to drink these within the next week? What about all the other crap in my kitchen?
- I will be ornery! Like, super ornery. Deal with it!
- No Luna Protein Bars. Have you had these? They're like candy bars, but better (I think).
- Seriously, no ice cream?
I may need to think about this again.
24.8.11
Truth
I've been thinking a lot lately about truth and living an honest life. As a writer, I know the best writing (and the best comedy) comes from telling the truth, as difficult as that can be. Ideally, our life will be better if we live it honestly.
Yesterday we did Fight Gone Bad. Terrible workout for me. I'm bad at wall balls, box jumps, and rowing. Yeah, tough workout. I start on wall balls and I'm counting in my head. I'm up to 12. My partner, who's counting, says 6. 6?!?!! I yell at her. She gets scared and says I'm not reaching the green line. I keep going.
I yell sometimes.* I apologize. I'm never angry at the other person (unless they're in my way and they should know better). I'm angry at myself. Of course I only had 6 reps. I wasn't reaching the line. She kept me honest.
After doing CrossFit for a while, many of us think we should be RXing everything. We get frustrated when we're not making progress. We need to be honest with ourselves.
*If we have an injury, don't aggravate it. Scale the workout so you don't injure yourself even more!
*If you're not making progress, push yourself to do something that will slow down your time - lift heavier weights, move up in pull-up bands, force yourself to do double unders. Get a slower time once in a while by challenging yourself!
*Be honest with what you eat and how it affects your performance. Seriously. It's a bigger factor than I'd like to admit.
*Practice your weakness. It won't go away. The only way to improve is to practice, which will mean failing every once in a while.
*Give yourself a break. You don't have to PR every time. It's just a workout, right?
*Stop making excuses! Yes, I'm short, which makes wall balls a little more challenging. I'm also (almost) 33 and starting to realize that I'll never be 5'6". I just need to toughen up, get stronger, and jump a little higher.
Honesty is not easy. If it was, we'd live in a very different world. But it does lead to a better life. And maybe some PRs.
*Maybe I should have been an actress. People tend to believe I'm truly upset with them.
Yesterday we did Fight Gone Bad. Terrible workout for me. I'm bad at wall balls, box jumps, and rowing. Yeah, tough workout. I start on wall balls and I'm counting in my head. I'm up to 12. My partner, who's counting, says 6. 6?!?!! I yell at her. She gets scared and says I'm not reaching the green line. I keep going.
I yell sometimes.* I apologize. I'm never angry at the other person (unless they're in my way and they should know better). I'm angry at myself. Of course I only had 6 reps. I wasn't reaching the line. She kept me honest.
After doing CrossFit for a while, many of us think we should be RXing everything. We get frustrated when we're not making progress. We need to be honest with ourselves.
*If we have an injury, don't aggravate it. Scale the workout so you don't injure yourself even more!
*If you're not making progress, push yourself to do something that will slow down your time - lift heavier weights, move up in pull-up bands, force yourself to do double unders. Get a slower time once in a while by challenging yourself!
*Be honest with what you eat and how it affects your performance. Seriously. It's a bigger factor than I'd like to admit.
*Practice your weakness. It won't go away. The only way to improve is to practice, which will mean failing every once in a while.
*Give yourself a break. You don't have to PR every time. It's just a workout, right?
*Stop making excuses! Yes, I'm short, which makes wall balls a little more challenging. I'm also (almost) 33 and starting to realize that I'll never be 5'6". I just need to toughen up, get stronger, and jump a little higher.
Honesty is not easy. If it was, we'd live in a very different world. But it does lead to a better life. And maybe some PRs.
*Maybe I should have been an actress. People tend to believe I'm truly upset with them.
6.8.11
Guilt
Crossfit has brought out a side of me I hadn't seen in a while. Today was the 2nd Annual 5K Love
Which was organized like a pro by my buddy Emilee. This year there was a 10K option. Great! You know what? I haven't been running a lot lately. And honestly, full disclosure, big surprise here...
I hate running.
There's nothing I like about it. I don't like how it feels. My knee gets all weird. I'm breathing heavy. No matter how much I strap stuff down, there's still stuff bouncing. Like, I hear people talk about this mystery 'runner's high.' I have no idea. I've never come close.
So I sign up for the 5K. And what kind of response do I get? "What? You're only doing the 5K?" "Come on, you can do the 10K." Jerks.
So I run the 10K. And I'm running with Rachel who I know can run much faster than me. But she keeps me company. And I'm thinking, 'I worked out a lot this week. Maybe I should take it easy. Is that my knee feeling weird again? Was that really just the first mile? Why did the first mile take so long?"
And it's not just running. There are stations along the way for burpees and lunges and squats and push-ups and broad jumps. I do them. Last year I didn't. This year I did. I'm a good sport.
So we get to the turnaround point. I'm having serious, serious doubts about running another 3 miles. It really doesn't sound good. But something in my head is telling me that I have a green tag on and it says 10K and I should quit complaining and just do it. Fine. And honestly, the second 3 were much more pleasant than the first. Then there's more squats! What??? More squats? No! I thought I was done with the stations. So I politely decline and keep running. And I think about those squats.
And then the guilt sets in.
And Rachel and I slow down. And we do our stupid squats. And we do the next station, and the next.
Why do you do this Crossfit? Why do you make me feel this way?
We finished in 61:28, which was actually faster than I thought. I pushed through. I always do.
I have this voice in my head that shows up early in a workout and tells me I can't finish. It's always there, no matter what. And I'm sure it will always be there. I've learned to live with it, accept what it has to say, and ignore it.
I hate running.
There's nothing I like about it. I don't like how it feels. My knee gets all weird. I'm breathing heavy. No matter how much I strap stuff down, there's still stuff bouncing. Like, I hear people talk about this mystery 'runner's high.' I have no idea. I've never come close.
So I sign up for the 5K. And what kind of response do I get? "What? You're only doing the 5K?" "Come on, you can do the 10K." Jerks.
So I run the 10K. And I'm running with Rachel who I know can run much faster than me. But she keeps me company. And I'm thinking, 'I worked out a lot this week. Maybe I should take it easy. Is that my knee feeling weird again? Was that really just the first mile? Why did the first mile take so long?"
And it's not just running. There are stations along the way for burpees and lunges and squats and push-ups and broad jumps. I do them. Last year I didn't. This year I did. I'm a good sport.
So we get to the turnaround point. I'm having serious, serious doubts about running another 3 miles. It really doesn't sound good. But something in my head is telling me that I have a green tag on and it says 10K and I should quit complaining and just do it. Fine. And honestly, the second 3 were much more pleasant than the first. Then there's more squats! What??? More squats? No! I thought I was done with the stations. So I politely decline and keep running. And I think about those squats.
And then the guilt sets in.
And Rachel and I slow down. And we do our stupid squats. And we do the next station, and the next.
Why do you do this Crossfit? Why do you make me feel this way?
We finished in 61:28, which was actually faster than I thought. I pushed through. I always do.
I have this voice in my head that shows up early in a workout and tells me I can't finish. It's always there, no matter what. And I'm sure it will always be there. I've learned to live with it, accept what it has to say, and ignore it.
3.8.11
Eye of the Tiger
This is Justin Verlander. He is, without question, one of the top pitchers in Major League Baseball right now (if not the best). He has pitched a no-hitter this year and has nearly pitched 2 more. He's probably going to win the Cy Young Award this year. And he’s a Tiger!
If you watch him pitch, which you should, you’ll notice one dominating characteristic about him: focus. When he’s on, he’s on. No emotion, just pitching. Yes, the Angels tried to rile him up the other day and it kind of worked, but that was a team effort to stop him. He knows what he needs to do and he goes out there and focuses on the job.
I noticed this a few times this past weekend at the Crossfit games. First there was Elisabeth Akinwale. These athletes had to go through this row of monkey bars during a workout. Fun, right? They ended up ripping hands and morale. It takes a lot of shoulder strength and agility to quickly make it through them. This woman? She flew.
A lot of people were cheering for Pat ‘Manimal’ Barber this weekend. He’s kind of a Crossfit celebrity. Average guy; amazing strength. The last workout ended with pulling a sled across an arena with a long rope. Yeah, the Manimal was one of the first few with the rope, but everyone expected strong guy Jason Khalipa to finish first. Then, out of nowhere, the Manimal’s sled starts moving across the arena. he gets this sheer determination, this focus, and wins his heat.
 |
| In the back, yeah, he wins the heat. |
The crowd roared.
And then, of course, is our own Cheryl Brost. Cheryl finished 13th last year in her first games. We watched her crush workouts through the Crossfit Open, then fight from behind in the Northwest Regionals to make it to the Games. She was so consistent this weekend. She focused on the workout in front of her and she showed grit and determination through each one. While the camera would focus on someone more well-known (Camille, ahem), Cheryl just did her best and finished strong. 13th last year. 7th this year. And at the end of every workout:
A true champion.
Thanks for inspiring us, Cheryl.
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