Redemption

For me, the CrossFit Games Open is now done. I am very happy about that. While I feel like I was somewhat of a catalyst for some people to sign up, I feel like I wasn't a very good competitor this year. I felt like I didn't really give it my all on any of them (except maybe my second attempt at 12.2). I wasn't really excited about any of them....until 12.5.


I practiced handstand push-ups all week. I still haven't gotten one, but I am SO CLOSE!!! I was sure they would program a Diane ladder (deadlifts, hspu). Most people thought this. Instead, they brought out the last one from last year: the Fran ladder.


Last year, I got three thrusters and spent 6:30 trying to get a chest to bar pull-up...twice. And although I've been able to get chest-to-bars in practice now and then, I haven't really done them consistently, so I wasn't sure if I was able to get them during the WOD.

I got 23.

And I would have been able to do more if I hadn't been SO HAPPY!!!! I don't know if I've ever smiled so much in a workout. What a relief! I've actually improved! It's been so long since I've seen actual improvement...maybe this is just what I need to kick myself back into some sort of mental shape.


And part of me thought, for a minute, 'Damn. I could have gotten more reps if I would have known I would have done that well. And that was my one shot.' But then, my true self came through. It's just exercise and I improved! How often do we just enjoy what we're doing in CrossFit (as much as you can enjoy thrusters and pull-ups)? I was smiling for hours after that. Not because I looked ridiculous, like my snatches in 12.2, but because I was awesome!


So the moral of the story is don't forget to have fun. Otherwise, what's the point?


So I hope that the Open was worth it for everyone who participated. I look forward to seeing who will be going to Regionals this year. And for those of you who pushed yourself farther than you intended, nice work. You understood the point.

“Promise me you'll always remember: 

You're braver than you believe, 

and stronger than you seem, 

and smarter than you think. ”

Christopher Robin to Pooh

A.A. Milne

 

And this, right here, is truly what the Open is about: Pride.

**And I am purposely leaving out any mention of the wall balls in 12.4. I completely lost my motivation and those weren't fun. Not at all. They never will be.** 

Setting the Bar

So I think I'm finally able to move my arms again. That will change again tomorrow, I'm sure. For Open WOD 12.3, we finally got a CrossFit WOD! 18 minutes of box jumps, push presses, and toes to bar. Awesome! And it didn't feel as bad as I thought it would when I did it Thursday. That also means I could have pushed harder. By Friday evening, I started to hurt. By Saturday morning, I was sooooo sore. And for some stupid reason, I decided to try it again this morning. Let's just not talk about that.


The hard part about the workout for me was the push presses. 75lbsx12 per round = real heavy, real fast. The toes to bar was like a break for me. It hasn't always been this way.


I don't know what it is about this move that pisses off so many people. Maybe it's because when athletes are good at it, it looks so effortless. But it does take a lot of effort. Those of us who can do them felt that effort as the rounds added up.


But many people struggle with the movement. All you have to do is a big kip, swing your feet up, and touch the bar, right? Sure! OK, well, not really.


Last year, I judged one of my favorite people in the world. She did her 5 heavy power cleans, then spent 18 minutes trying to get one toes to bar. She did leave and cry at one time. BUT she came back! And she kept trying. This year, she did 34 toes to bar. So proud.


And this weekend, I worked with 2 other athletes who knew they could post a score to the Games site with what they had already done, but who continued to work at getting those toes to bar. And if they keep coming in and working on them, next year, not a problem.


The Open can expose our weaknesses. I'm not good at short workouts. I know this. I like the 10 minute + workouts. I haven't been great at box jumps before, but somehow, they're starting to click with me. I need to work on stringing them together. As long as we work on these things, and KEEP TRYING, we will get better. 


And hopefully, by the time they release 12.4 (double unders and heavy cleans?), I'll be able to move my arms again.

Snatch It Like It's Hot...Or How Not to Get A Lot of Weight Overhead

My hopes of showing off my double under skills were obliterated when CrossFit HQ announced WOD 12.2 - a snatch ladder. Just snatches for 10 minutes, increasing in weight every 30 reps. After some initial grumbling, I understood the WOD. Most can get through 30 reps. Those with some strength can get between 31-60. Those with both strength and skill will get the most reps.


For women, this meant starting out at 45lbs, then moving up to 75 for the second part. That was my previous 1 rep max. So I walked in not knowing what to expect. My goal was 40 reps. I got through my first 30. Then it got ugly.

Yeah, my back is hurting.

I failed trying to get 75lbs up. And I failed another 3 times. I swore loudly. I didn't want this to happen. I didn't want people watching me fail for 5 minutes. And I don't quite know how it happened, but I finally got that weight overhead. And I did it the way we really shouldn't - I managed to get it up to head-level then press it up. Ugh. It was nasty. I finished with 48 reps.


And one of my favorite athletes said I was smiling the whole time. Of course I was. It was RIDICULOUS! There were a few rules about what we couldn't do, but otherwise, just get it from the ground to overhead in "one" motion. I was also smiling because I exceeded my goal - I was pretty happy with my score. But some stupid instinct in me told me I could get 60 reps. So I waited a couple days, then I went at it again.


So I came in on Sunday, ready to get 60 reps. After my first 30, I had 7:30 to complete it. That is such a huge jump in weight. It really is. I ended up with 53, 5 better than the first time, and I was completely happy with that. 


And I could care less how I compare to other people. I know a lot of women in the box got 60 reps and that's awesome. I just didn't have it in me this time. 75lbs was my one rep max - now it's my 23 rep max.


We also saw some amazing determination (SISU!) by our athletes. One woman, Annie, got the 60 reps on Thursday and new she could get to the next level if she focused. She showed up on Saturday, got through the 60, then loaded the bar. A crowd formed. She attempted to snatch 100lb. - failed. Tried again, failed. And suddenly, something clicked. She got that weight overhead, and everyone was so happy. And she did it three more times. That's a true CrossFitter. That's what the Open is all about. Nice work, Annie!

12.1 ...7 Minutes in Heaven (or not)

The first WOD of the 2012 CrossFit Games Open is now OVER!!! Woo-hoo!!!! What's the worst way you can spend 7 minutes? Probably doing wall climbs. But HQ would never do that to us. Instead, they give us a 7 minute AMRAP of burpees. Seriously. Who thinks of these?


What I love about the Open and about the Games in general is that so many people did so much better than they thought they would. We had an amazing turnout for the WOD on Saturday morning. It almost made me sad that I wasn't trying it for a second time (more on that below). 


I am so proud of my affiliate. We have 120 athletes registered for the Open! I'm so excited for everyone who is competing this year and who was able to submit a score for this first WOD. And of course, I'm looking forward to our team and individual athletes kicking ass at Regionals!


How did I do? Eh. I got 78. I kept moving the whole time, but I was moving slower than I should have been. Also, I'm injured. I strained something in my ribs last week and it feels like a horse (or a whore, depending on who you talk to) kicked me in the back. So I am trying my best to not do anything and let it heal. This is not easy.


It's especially not easy since I have felt not-so-great about my overall condition lately. So, as of right now and until the end of the Open, I will not have anymore desserts and I will limit my sugar intake. No more cake (that's right). No more chocolaty Larabars. No more fro yo. More veggies, for real this time. I need to get back into the shape I was in last spring. If I'm going to be telling people what they should and shouldn't be eating, I should also follow that advice. 


So what am I hoping for this upcoming week? I'm hoping that they don't go too heavy right away. Because if they do, I will try, and I could hurt myself even more. I'm hoping for another met-con with some reasonable weight thrown in. I'm guessing they'll give us a 15 minute AMRAP with 3 different moves. And there better be double unders. Please, for the love of all things CrossFit, let there be double unders!!!

A Love Letter to GWOD

Since last fall, I've spent an hour every Wednesday and Friday evening with some of the best people I know. If you would have asked me a few years ago if I would have been doing anything like this, I would have rolled my eyes and had another drink. But now it seems my favorite part of the week is Gymnastics WOD.

GWOD

Gymnasty

Or whatever. It's just fun. It is coached by my most favorite coach (I said it) and attended by some of my most favorite people (you know who you are). The intent of GWOD is to work on skills and form. Yes, we do plenty of this (it's good form that matters, not the time, right?). We also do workouts that I never really believe I'll finish (one-armed kettlebell overhead squats - really?). But above all else, and what I appreciate most about it, is that it is FUN.

We do handstands. We do wall climbs. We play on the rings. We do pull-ups. We do A LOT of hollow rocks. We jump and run and climb. We try different things. We realize that we may have many strengths ... but sometimes when we come across something that is not a strength, we can work on it and sometimes ...sometimes we have to laugh. 


If you've ever heard me laugh - really laugh - you know that it is loud and it is natural and it is true. I cannot fake that laugh. My sisters have that laugh. My grandma had that laugh. My niece has that laugh. My friends in GWOD have heard it on numerous occasions.

I remember this mainsite WOD from a few months ago. The main site got so many nasty comments about posting this WOD, which was comprised of a few gymnastics movements. The strong guys hate that stuff. So we did it. 20 minute AMRAP that included wall climbs. Oh, those wall climbs. Sometimes the time just flies. Sometimes, it does not. I looked at the clock at one pointed and shouted, "Only 15 more minutes" and my coach did the honorable thing and turned the clock around so I couldn't see it. "Only a few more minutes," he shouted after that. Oh those wall climbs can be so discouraging.

Something about the class brings out the awesomeness in people. I've seen athletes get their first hanstand push-up (unfortunately not me yet). I've seen a husband help his pregnant wife with pistols (one of the sweetest things I've seen in a long time). And I've surprised myself. I will remember one night in particular for a long time - the rope climbs.


I've done rope climbs before once or twice but never perfected the technique. We worked on it, then started a WOD. It had been a long week. I hardly had anything in me. By the second round, I walked over to the rope and looked at it for a long time. My coach came over and I said I had nothing left. He said I couldn't use my arms - I had to use my legs. I finally made it up there. And for the next round, the clock ran out and I still had a rope climb to do. He looks at me and (nonverbally) said, "Are you going to finish that?" And it took all that I had in me, but I did.


I'll remember that for a long time.


So thanks GWOD, for being my favorite part of the week. I'm sure it's made me a better Crossfitter and a better person, but sometimes, most of the time, it's just fun. Where else can I tell the coach, "I'm injured and can't really do anything right now," and he says, "Show up anyway."And besides, where else could a girl like me hang out with 22 year old guys (who accept me completely for who I am) and listen to dubstep? 

The Open

A couple weeks ago, I took up a personal challenge of trying to sign up as many Eugene CrossFitters for the CrossFit Games Open, which starts this Wednesday (we're currently at 86). Why? I like challenges. I love the Open and what it represents. And I want everyone out there to experience it, too.


The Open is an opportunity for everyone to participate in the CrossFit Games. Starting Wednesday, CFHQ will release a WOD each week that tens of thousands of athletes from around the world will complete and submit their score for that week. If they don't belong to an affiliate, they'll submit a video, like this: 

For Eugene CrossFit, we'll do the Open every Thursday and Saturday. You'll have a judge who will count your reps and make sure that you're meeting the standards. It's hard to explain why it's so awesome until you're actually doing it.


I haven't been the best CrossFitter lately. I'm not really into heavy lifting right now (really, who cares if I can or can't back squat 155lb.? I don't!). I think I pulled a muscle the other day with heavy kettlebells and I'm taking an extended break (which for me means 4 days). My eating has been terrible. I feel like a cow (I know I don't look like one. That's not the issue). 


But I'm still really excited about the Open.


I need that extra motivation. I was in hella good shape last spring. That all went away quickly. I've been trying to catch up and honestly, I've probably been trying too hard. But the Open is just what I need to push myself.


I'm even more excited for my friends who have been training for the past 6 months to a year for this. I know that some who came close last year will make it as individuals to Regionals. I can't wait to see who makes our team. So many people are going to give it their all and it's a great time to be a part of CrossFit.


But what about the rest of us? Those who won't make it to Regionals? You will set PRs. You will be amazing. You will surprise yourself. This is why you signed up:

We're all good enough.

Hey Girl...part 3

And more from your athletes at Eugene CrossFit

And again, Ryan, if you have an issue with any of these, I'm happy to meet with you personally to talk about them. We could hit a WOD together. It's all good.

Hey Girl...part 2

Another round of our CrossFit fantasies... (from the athletes at Eugene CrossFit)

Just think of this during the Open, ladies. 

That's right ;)

We do a lot of mobility work. Ryan's into that.

Hey Girl

This is what happens when creative and bored CrossFitters take an idea and adapt it to CrossFit. Thanks Gabe, Kelly, and Crystal! And Ryan Gosling, if you have a problem with any of these pictures, please contact me directly! I'd be happy to sit down and talk with you about them :)

And many of the ladies will appreciate this one...

And yes, we have many more on the way. 

CrossFit and the Single Girl

I am single. Fact. After a bizarro period of time in my life, I can say with confidence that I am single and I like being single. It also has me thinking about where to find the right guy. Lately, my friends and family have said, "You know Robin, you could date people who don't go to your gym." Sure. I get the reasoning behind that. BUT, when so much of my life is spent at the box, wouldn't it make sense to combine these two areas of my life? It's multi-tasking, right? As with anything, there are pros and cons to the situation. Let's sort them out.


Cons

• What if it doesn't work out? That would be awkward, right? 
• Sure, depending on the situation. Can't people just work out when I'm not there? 
• But you're a coach now. You shouldn't date the athletes.
• Come on. All the other coaches do it.

Are there other cons? I don't know.

Pros

• Common interests!
• I know lots about CrossFit. We already have something to talk about, especially if the other person doesn't like baseball (God forbid).
• We can see each other at our best...and at our worst.
• That's what's so great about CrossFit - we do things we wouldn't normally do and we surprise ourselves and others. Somedays it's like, 'Whoa, I just did butterfly pull-ups!' or 'I totally finished that WOD when I didn't think I could.' Other days, it's more like, 'I just threw out more f-bombs in the last 5 minutes than I ever have in my life, and that person still high-fived me' or 'I have snot running out of my nose and that person's still talking to me.' We know how we do and what we look like. We live with it. And we keep coming back.
• And honestly, people usually see you at your best...or at least that's what they remember.
• Maybe you had a bad day. You didn't get that PR. It's in your head. But that other person saw you try. And they keep seeing that over time. There are so many people at Eugene CrossFit that I ADORE (and I don't use that word lightly) because of how supportive they are to the other athletes: my friends I hang out with socially, my buddies in GWOD, my fellow coaches ... it's an amazing place. What was I talking about again?
• A built in panel of relationship experts!  (OK, maybe not experts)
• BUT if there's someone that catches your eye, you can ask someone else at the box about them. I do this all the time. Actually, maybe we gossip too much. Never mind. This is a bad example.
• Where else would I meet people?
• A bar? A website? Work? Ugh. These are terrible options. And in a place like Eugene, which is defeating to begin with, where else would someone like me look?

I would argue that CrossFit is the IDEAL place to find the next great catch. Take that, mom!

Confidence

I haven't been making significant gains lately and I'm sure I could attribute that to factors that are measurable, like diet. But the more likely reason I'm not making gains is because of the biggest factor that I can't measure: confidence. I want to make these gains so bad, especially in strength, but the truth is that I don't feel like I can do it.


And this isn't something a motivational quote will help with. CrossFit is full of motivational crap. I get it. I know I can do it. But I don't feel like I can do it.


I've been taking Oly lifting classes for the past month to try to get stronger. The first two classes were disasters, with me almost crying in both of them. And in the third class, the instructor said to me, "You looked good. You just need to be confident that you can get under that bar."  I have the strength. My form isn't great and the frustration takes over when the weight gets heavy, and I collapse. I know I need to be more aggressive. I know I have to move my feet. I know this.


And this applies to other areas of my life. I've really been working on what I want to be doing professionally, and what I've figured out is that my confidence has prevented me from doing a lot in the past 10 years. I don't think I'm the best writer or teacher or whatever I do. I'm feeling better about my teaching (I got stellar evaluations from my students last term), but I'm still hesitant to apply to other places. In order to make real money, I should probably get a different job, which would take a whole new level of confidence. It is the most important thing I have to work on this year.


And funny enough, I'm very confident in other areas of my life. I can tell someone how I feel about them in ways that shock my friends. But I have to. What's the point of holding that back? They don't like me? I can deal with that.


I wish I could feel as confident in many areas of my life as I look here:

If I could just stay in that mindset, I'll finally get to where I need to go.

Happy Up Here

A funny thing happened when I went home for the holidays. I flew into Chicago and had a great time. I met up with two of my favorite people and they really tried to convince me to move there. Who wouldn't? It's a fun city, especially for a single girl. And it would help me professionally too, since I'm more likely to find a good job there than I am here. Then I went to my family in Kalamazoo and I thought about it an awful lot. Then I came to the realization...


I'm actually pretty happy right now.


And it feels weird to say this. If you know anything about my past, you know that depression has been a constant in my life and just getting by has been the norm. But recently, my mood has been pretty good. I'm smiling more. I feel good about the future. And the awesome part is that I'm not taking anything for it right now. It's just how I am. 


I attribute much of this to the great friends that I've made here, mostly from Eugene CrossFit. I can't talk about them without getting all verklempt. They know what they mean to me. I also know how hard it is to find good friends as an adult. I'm not willing to give that up.


I also know that I have a lot of work to do. I have big goals for my professional life this year. And it will take a lot of work. But I need to focus on these things. I know I do.


I also have CrossFit goals. I'm joining the Oly lifting class so I can do some major work on my technique and start lifting the weight I should be able to lift. I've started coaching, which means I need to take my own training more seriously. I made big time gains last spring, but I haven't made any major gains since. I need that again.


January is traditionally a rough month for me, at least for the past 10 years. It's the month that my dad died and as much as I try not to think about it, sometimes it just comes up and I get overwhelmed with sadness. The weather out here generally doesn't help. But it is sunny today, so I'll take my dog to the park and get that sun while I can. I know how easily it can go away.


Anyway, I am grateful. And happy. So thanks. If you're reading this, you've most likely had a part in all of it.

Top 5

I have been feeling uninspired in the CrossFit writing world lately, but I've seen many lists today. Lists I can do. And I watched High Fidelity again recently. Here come some lists.


10 Things I Love About CrossFit
10. I'd rather live an active life than a passive life.
9. I hate certain moves (overhead squats, wall balls, rowing) but instead of avoiding them, I keep doing them so I can get better. They won't go away. Neither will life.
8. I can laugh at myself.
7. Statistics! 
6. You try, you do your best, and everyone supports you.
5. Sometimes it's all business. Sometimes it's like playtime.
4. I'm not really good at team sports. In CrossFit, I'm only accountable to myself.
3. Who knew lifting a bar from the ground to your shoulders could feel so awesome. I love cleans!
2. I get to teach it now.
1. All of you.


Top 5 CrossFit Moves
1. Double Unders
2. Kettlebell Swings
3. Cleans
4. Pull-ups
5. Push-ups


Top 5 Least Favorite WODs
1. Kelly (also one of my favorite people at the box)
2. Karen (also one of my favorite people at the box)
3. The Seven 
4. Anything that involves multiple reps of overhead squats. They make me frustrated. They make me cry.
5. That first wall climb WOD with toes to bar, box jumps and wall climbs. I fell on my face before the WOD and tripped over the box on my first round of box jumps. I spent much of the remaining 30 minutes lying on the floor, wondering what I was doing there. 


Top 5 Favorite WODs
1. Annie (my first leaderboard and my first RX girl workout. I love this workout)
2. Helen
3. This partner one with rowing and push-ups we did about a month ago. I don't know why I liked it so much, but I just felt f*ing awesome afterwards.
4. When we did all the lady WODs super-scaled on a Friday. That was so fun!
5. Probably the Games workout from last Spring when you had 5 minutes to clean and jerk 110 pounds. My previous PR was 100. The first time I tried, I couldn't clean it. I spent 5 minutes struggling. A couple days later, I tried again. 2 1/2 minutes into it, I cleaned it. So many people were cheering me on. And it was f*ing awesome.


Top 5 Albums of All Time
1. Garbage - Version 2.0
2. Depeche Mode - Violator
3. Royksopp - The Understanding
4. The Pixies - Doolittle
5. Radiohead - OK Computer

33

I was born in 1978. This may come to a surprise to some people, like the student who recently said, "You're 30???" (No, I'm not) Or the people who guess my age as mid-20s. Or the woman who asked me if I was a student. Or the many servers who ask to see my ID. Yes, I'm 33. 


Jimmy Carter was president the year I was born.
I remember the Tigers winning the World Series in 1984. 
I remember talking about Tiananmen Square in the 5th grade. 
I was devastated when River Phoenix died (don't even get me started on Jeff Buckley).
"Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica was my class song (seriously, they expect me to go to a reunion after that?)
In my first election, I voted for Bill Clinton (I wish I could vote for him again). 
I didn't have email until college (and honestly, I don't think I used much email in college). 


But apparently, I don't look 33.
So what, exactly, does 33 look like? 


I looked through some pictures from 10 years ago, when I was 23, and even though I was kind of a train wreck at that point in my life, I looked all right. But I look younger now. A lot younger. I feel better. I may still party like a rock star once in a while, but I know better than to do it more than I should. (And I know that I should have the right people around when I do it). I have a better idea of what I want in life. I don't know exactly what I that is, but I'm getting there. I also know that if I keep doing what I'm doing, 43 is going to look Amazing.

In my world, this is what 33 looks like, and I am totally, completely happy with it.

Why Are We Here?

A few weeks ago, a friend gave me this magnet:

.

I was reminded of this while browsing through some pictures of me from a workout last week. And while there were some awesome and mostly terrible shots because SOMEONE looooves to take terrible pictures of me during my workouts, this one stood out to me as a moment captured in time.

This was during the Dirty Thirty. I'm standing there, scratching my head, thinking about how I don't want to do anymore wall balls. I didn't include all of the pictures of the ball actually at the line, or me in a squat position. I finished them, of course. I always do.


I feel like I don't have as many of these moments as I used to. Those moments where you look around during a workout and wonder, "Why am I here?" I've been having those before the workout. It's the holidays. It's the end of the school term. I'm tired. And I've been in kind of a nasty mood. BUT I still go. 


Tuesday I was in a foul mood. And I was tired. And I had rowing and push-ups ahead of me. But I showed up, did my strength work. Then we did the workout. And I did amazing. Who knew? My friend talks about the rush of endorphins we get sometimes after a hard workout. I felt that on Tuesday. I can do so many push-ups! I was so happy. Somebody take my phone away before I start telling people how I feel! 


And I wouldn't have felt that way had I not shown up.


This is a tough time of year. Winter here is grey and it is not good for me. And this is just the beginning. I won't feel awesome every day I show up. But even feeling it once in a while is better than nothing.


Are wall balls a metaphor for my life? It depends on the day. They hit me in the face sometimes. I often don't make it up to the line. I get reps taken away. But I also have to remind myself that I've gotten better over the past couple years and I'll continue to get better. There has got to be a better metaphor out there...


Edited to add that it is clear we need a CrossFit metaphor contest. Post your best to comments.