14.1.11

Defeat

I felt like today it was me vs. the equipment, and the equipment won. We had a bizzarro workout today, involving these things called Wall Climbs. Most of the movements we do in Crossfit are functional movements - stuff you could potentially do in the real world. We tried to think of how this movement could translate to reality and we were stumped. How often in life are you in a plank position, then moving your feet up a wall until you're vertical? I think of myself as a creative person and honestly, this move has me wondering. 


Anyway, we tried these against the wall in the main room, which felt like it had been oiled down the night before. We moved into another room and decided the walls were less slippery, so we moved our boxes in there and we're ready to go. Then we try the toes to bar move. That involves hanging from a bar and swinging your toes up to touch the bar. We have new bars now in this other room and I can actually reach one of them! Awesome! So I do just that and realize I could do a couple - which was awesome! Then I completely lost my grip as my legs were swinging back and I fell right to the floor, hitting my left knee and my chin. Awesome! Some of the ladies check the bar after and realized that the condensation was a problem there too, and we should cover the bars with chalk and probably not even use that one. Man, the workout hadn't even started.


But I'm a trooper and even though it did hurt, especially my knee, I got on the floor and got ready for the workout. Honestly, I felt like bursting into tears. I had a lot of unrelated stuff on my mind today, and falling on my face didn't help, and the thought of a really hard workout that would take at least 20 minutes was pretty discouraging. But I sucked it up and started. I did these wall climbs the best I could. They weren't pretty. I did knees to elbows, which is a little more reasonable than toes to bar, and I did them on a different bar. So far, I was going through the motions but doing them nonetheless.


Then came the box jumps. I get some serious mental blocks when it comes to these. I've been trying to use a 20" box because I know I can, and I've been jumping because I can. I was stepping for a while, but I know I can jump, so I do it. On my 13th jump I completely fell over the box onto the floor. Great, now I'm on the floor again. I could see a pattern. But I picked myself up and jumped again. I really wanted to step. I really wanted to quit the whole stupid workout all together, but I jumped.


And I finished. I didn't expect to and I don't know if I would have been too upset if I had stopped. En Vogue's "Free Your Mind" came on towards the end, and that actually helped a lot. That's a hell of an empowering song! It was my 5th workout of the week. I had a lot on my mind. But I came in and did it, and that has to count for something.


Here's an idea of what we did, done by the #2 lady at the Crossfit games, Icelandic Annie. If you want to see how I did it, you can imagine me lying face down on the floor, looking around, wondering why I showed up.



6 comments:

dragonwrites said...

I feel you. Very often the WOD seems overwhelming and I want to cry, and yet, I have finished every single one, to the best of my ability, and that's the important thing. It's supposed to be hard, right? But you prove yourself harder.

For box jumps, you know I started with an 8 inch box! For a long time, I was using 16. And I know I can do 20, but with a lot of reps it can be daunting, so instead I work up to it: take the 16 inch box and put 2 inches of bumper plates on top. When that stops being scary, I'll go to 20 inches.

Foxygen said...

I started with a 12" box and stuck with that for a long time. Last spring I could do the 20" really fast, so a friend and I decided to try the 24" for speed. I couldn't do it. I looked at it, I thought about it, and I couldn't do it. So we put a bumper plate on the 20, did that. Another one, did that. Eventually she was like, "Robin, it's over 24". Come on." But knowing the numbers can be daunting. Box jumps get in your head.

Sometimes I wish I didn't know how much weight I was trying to lift, too. I those numbers can be pretty intimidating.

Anonymous said...

And then you went for a refreshing 6k walk with friends. Thanks for being a member of the group. Doris

Wella said...

We all have moments where we just want to give up and break down into tears. I certainly have those moments, many of them actually. And getting back up after a fall (literally, in your case), is soooo hard. But man, it feels wonderful when you do. Great job!

Emilee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Emilee said...

dude, that wall climb thing is weird, especially when they speed it up...looks like something from the future!
man have i fallen! and cried! and been soo pissed at the world during workouts!...i think that crossfit is like a "workout therapist" sometimes it tells us to get into our head in a "keep going" style...other times it allows us to get out of our head so we can connect with ourselves on a physical level---that often involves pain...luckily the pain usually results in feeling pretty damn good