Nostalgia has gotten the best of me many times in my life. Even though I've tried to approach events with a better perspective lately, it still comes in and often leaves me wistful. I know I should live in the moment. I know this.

Epic Relay was a couple weeks ago. Last year, I had so much fun. I couldn't wait for it this year. And it was fun this year...just different. I didn't feel that same excitement that I did after the race last year. And it made me realize that I can't keep trying to recreate things the way they were so I can feel the same way. I just need to look at them for what they are and find joy in the moment.

I did have fun. The running hurt. I was in much better running shape last year. My calf tensed up a lot. It was hot...again. But I got craftier and made some stuff to add some sparkle to the race.

My new motto. Stolen from Carleen Lessard, who apparently stole it from Shit Yogis Say.
And I got to hang out with these people. Really, they're some of the best people.
Anyway, I felt all sorts of physically terrible after the race. My calf really felt like a rock. I took some Epsom salt baths, and rolled out, and rested. Now it's fine. My shoulder actually hurt too, but that's an ongoing issue. I finally got a massage on Sunday, and although I need that all the time, I feel like it made a world of difference. I get lazy about recovery. I'll try to let things heal themselves, or go in with the mindset that if I ignore it, it will go away. It doesn't. Recovery is good and necessary and I only have this one body to take care of. It's up to me.

This month marks my 4 year CrossFit anniversary. It feels funny to reflect, since the first 2 years were so vastly different than the last 2, both personally and physically. I was a completely different person when I started. My progress was slow the first two years, which I feel was a combination of well, me, and the environment the gym was. There weren't a lot of people really trying to get better at a lot of things. The coaching has improved so much too.

2 years ago, I was at a very big turning point in my life. I made some really, really difficult decisions. My life became a lot more challenging. But, it was all for the better. I'm more confident in myself and in my writing. I'm learning to trust myself. And I'm almost 100% sure that I'm OK on my own (not that I want to be forever.) I also became slightly obsessed with CrossFit during that time (substitute one thing for another, I guess). And then I got way too into it and I got completely burnt out. So the past 6 months or so, I've just been trying to have fun with it. And it's getting better.

Also, lately I've felt like I want to do new things. I'll always have CrossFit, but there's so much more. So if there's a new trail or a new beach or a new activity, I'm in. Why not?

I'm not sure where I'll be in the next 2 years. Sometimes, life changes so quickly. If you had met me 4 years ago, you wouldn't even know it was me. I guess I just keep getting better. And I'm sticking to that plan.

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