My 45-Day Challenge

My box is starting a 45 day nutrition challenge today and while I'm not officially a part of it, I am trying my best to support my community and my own health. This means a few things:

No alcohol. My mom is probably my biggest influence on me, whether she likes it or not, and she said something to me a week ago that affected me substantially. I know she cares about me and I know I need to care more about myself, so I'm cutting out alcohol for this 45 days. Actually, I haven't had any in a week. It would be nice to say, 'Oh, I'll only allow myself 2 drinks a week,' but I know myself. It's all or nothing. I just have to sit with my emotions instead of trying to make them go away with wine or food. It is not easy. Actually, it's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

Less coffee. I never drank coffee until I worked in an office. Since then, it's become habit. It's become a lot of habit lately. I'm limiting myself to one cup/16oz a day. Coffee just makes my anxiety worse, so if I can limit it, I might be more of a pleasant person in general. Plus, drinking less coffee might inspire me to drink more water, which is also something I need to do.

More veggies. It's embarrassing how bad I've gotten about this. I generally like veggies, they're in season, yet I still don't eat enough of them. So, I went to Lone Pine Farms yesterday and stocked up for a while. My friend's mom also gave me some good stuff from her garden. Just need to make it a habit.

More cooking for myself. Also embarrassing how lazy I've gotten about this. I can't really afford to eat out so much. I don't really enjoy cooking. I wish I did. Until I make something that I absolutely love, this will seem like a chore to me. Sigh.

Try to cut out the crap - grains, sugar, legumes, dairy, etc. I'm not going to beat myself up if I slip, but I can actually limit these things pretty easily, especially if I focus on my above steps.

So there. What do I expect from this? Lots of internal stuff. Taking care of myself and taking control of some of my issues counts for a lot in my overall well-being. Plus, I just might be a more pleasant person to be around, which many of you would appreciate :)

Restarting the Process

August has usually been my favorite month. It's my birthday month (I'm certainly not quiet about that). It's summer. It's lazy. Baseball is happening. But the last couple of years, I don't know. August has been kind of a mess. People have just been losing it lately. It's hot. It's maybe ...too lazy. Many people I know, myself included, have just been freaking the fuck out. It's time to reset.

Right now, or tonight at least, I've been reading and drinking tea and listening to Mozart .... desperately trying to calm my anxiety, or as I like to call it, my spiraling. Am I calm right now? Not really. I'm trying. Trying.

My eating has been embarrassingly atrocious the past couple months. My workouts? Sporadic. I don't really care about how I do. I mean, it's just exercise. Have I been drinking a little too much? Maybe a little. So how does all of this factor into my overall demeanor? I probably haven't been the most pleasant person lately. I know this. I apologize.

So, as many of you who go to ECF know, we're starting a nutrition challenge soon. I'm 100% all in (except coffee. DO NOT take away my coffee). My goal? Peace of mind. Don't get as pissy as I did last year during the challenge. And honestly, and I've never really tried to do this, I'd actually like to lose 10 pounds. It's time.

I have a list of other things I want to do better. Personal things. I'll keep these to myself. But it's time to get serious about a lot of crap in my life, and controlling my food/drink/exercise is definitely one way to start the process. 

34 will sparkle.

Perspective

It's easy to feel down about your workouts when it seems like you're not making much progress, especially when others are making a lot more progress than you. I'm coming up on my three-year anniversary with CrossFit. When I started, I was 20 pounds heavier, lots more depressed, never worked out, yadda yadda yadda. 


When I started, there were a few really good athletes at the box, and some pretty good ones, and a lot of people like me. It seems like when we moved to the newer location, a couple things happened. The coaching became a lot better and higher-caliber athletes started going. So newer women would get the same strength PRs that I would get. Frustrating since I had been working so hard for so long, but whatev. Good for everyone. We're all better now.


I haven't really made any strength gains in a year. BUT I also haven't really changed anything this past year, except now I coach. Have I changed my eating? A little, but not anything crazy. I still work out 4-5 times a week and when we go for strength PRs, I don't really push myself. So maybe it's my fault.


We've been doing at least one benchmark every week and I've been kind of snarky about my gains. But they are gains; I'm not really falling back. In reality, in the past two months, I've set PRs in:

• Fight Gone Bad
• Murph
• 5K run
• 1 mile run
• Jackie
• Helen
• Angie

There may be only a one second gain here and there, but they're gains. 


So if I actually want to do better, I could do a few things.

• Stop comparing myself to other people. There's a lot that happens outside of CrossFit that accounts for our times.
• Do outside work. Lift weights. Get stronger.
• Actually try to run faster, since it seems to be holding me back.
• Work on my squat. It's terrible and once it improves, I think a lot will improve.
• Figure out a way for my hands not to rip open all the time. Gross.

Moderating (or not)

I eat cleaner than the vast majority of Americans. And I understand that eating clean can mean different things to different people. Many people would look at a Yumm bowl and think, “Rice, avocado, olives, tomatoes, edamame...that looks pretty healthy!” Sure...but not for me. Grains are probably not the best choice all around (although I don’t think that a little rice now and then can hurt). I don’t want to admit it or believe it, but I think there’s something in Yumm sauce (like crack) that makes me congested. Because that’s how I feel now when I eat something I’m not supposed to - congested. Thanks Whole 30. Now I’m acutely aware of how food makes me feel.

It seems like I’ll go through phases where I’ll eat pretty clean, then I’ll allow myself some treats, then I’ll just go off the deep end and I can’t button my jeans anymore. Then I’ll realize I need to clean it up, I’ll stay that way for a few weeks, then I’m back to the sweatpants. I remember reading something in a magazine a while back...a word I hear people say once in a while that I don’t really understand...something like...moderation?

Of course! Moderation! Duh! This could mean eating 90% paleo and allowing a cheat meal once a week. That sounds great! That sounds easy! That sounds...COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY UNDOABLE!!!   

I am not a moderator. I can’t eat two Thin Mints. Is there anyone in the world who could eat two Thin Mints? Once that box is open, they’re gone in a matter of minutes. And this isn't just about food! If I like something, I want a lot of it. Baseball just started. You think I can check scores and standings once a week or once a day? Forget it. My time is occupied from now until the end of October (since the Tigers will win it all this year). Moderation is not in my vocabulary.

CrossFit workouts are “fun.” They make you feel like your body is actually doing something. They push you to work harder. Beat the clock. Beat your last time. Get one more rep. Do it! Sometimes we’ll plan on a rest day, then see what the workout is that day and think, ‘I have to do this one! I’ll take a rest day eventually. Maybe the next day.’ And it never happens and we get burnt out and injured. OK, this doesn’t always happen, but sometimes it can. I think I’ve almost figured out a way to find ‘moderation’ in CrossFit.

Rest (sometimes)
Don’t go crazy RX superhard beastmode every day
Listen to your body
Let your coaches scale you
Stop comparing yourself to other people*

*A special word on this last one. During the CrossFit Open, of course we compare ourselves to others. We’re all doing the same workout with the same weights. I was disappointed in a lot of my workouts, but I need to factor in the rest of my life. My stress level this past year has been a lot higher than in the past. I don’t want to mention how many times I’ve moved in the past year, and how different my life is now than how it used to be. These are important factors that the leaderboards don’t measure.

I need to think of food this way, too. I think dairy makes me break out. Sugar turns me into a monster. Ordering a Yumm bowl a few times a week is just lazy. Do I want to be this way? No. So I need to be mindful of the choices I make and what behaviors and side effects they will cause. I need to be accountable for how I act and how I present myself to the world. Food is a big part of that. Food is just the first step. Time to reset, yet again.

Redemption

For me, the CrossFit Games Open is now done. I am very happy about that. While I feel like I was somewhat of a catalyst for some people to sign up, I feel like I wasn't a very good competitor this year. I felt like I didn't really give it my all on any of them (except maybe my second attempt at 12.2). I wasn't really excited about any of them....until 12.5.


I practiced handstand push-ups all week. I still haven't gotten one, but I am SO CLOSE!!! I was sure they would program a Diane ladder (deadlifts, hspu). Most people thought this. Instead, they brought out the last one from last year: the Fran ladder.


Last year, I got three thrusters and spent 6:30 trying to get a chest to bar pull-up...twice. And although I've been able to get chest-to-bars in practice now and then, I haven't really done them consistently, so I wasn't sure if I was able to get them during the WOD.

I got 23.

And I would have been able to do more if I hadn't been SO HAPPY!!!! I don't know if I've ever smiled so much in a workout. What a relief! I've actually improved! It's been so long since I've seen actual improvement...maybe this is just what I need to kick myself back into some sort of mental shape.


And part of me thought, for a minute, 'Damn. I could have gotten more reps if I would have known I would have done that well. And that was my one shot.' But then, my true self came through. It's just exercise and I improved! How often do we just enjoy what we're doing in CrossFit (as much as you can enjoy thrusters and pull-ups)? I was smiling for hours after that. Not because I looked ridiculous, like my snatches in 12.2, but because I was awesome!


So the moral of the story is don't forget to have fun. Otherwise, what's the point?


So I hope that the Open was worth it for everyone who participated. I look forward to seeing who will be going to Regionals this year. And for those of you who pushed yourself farther than you intended, nice work. You understood the point.

“Promise me you'll always remember: 

You're braver than you believe, 

and stronger than you seem, 

and smarter than you think. ”

Christopher Robin to Pooh

A.A. Milne

 

And this, right here, is truly what the Open is about: Pride.

**And I am purposely leaving out any mention of the wall balls in 12.4. I completely lost my motivation and those weren't fun. Not at all. They never will be.** 

12.1 ...7 Minutes in Heaven (or not)

The first WOD of the 2012 CrossFit Games Open is now OVER!!! Woo-hoo!!!! What's the worst way you can spend 7 minutes? Probably doing wall climbs. But HQ would never do that to us. Instead, they give us a 7 minute AMRAP of burpees. Seriously. Who thinks of these?


What I love about the Open and about the Games in general is that so many people did so much better than they thought they would. We had an amazing turnout for the WOD on Saturday morning. It almost made me sad that I wasn't trying it for a second time (more on that below). 


I am so proud of my affiliate. We have 120 athletes registered for the Open! I'm so excited for everyone who is competing this year and who was able to submit a score for this first WOD. And of course, I'm looking forward to our team and individual athletes kicking ass at Regionals!


How did I do? Eh. I got 78. I kept moving the whole time, but I was moving slower than I should have been. Also, I'm injured. I strained something in my ribs last week and it feels like a horse (or a whore, depending on who you talk to) kicked me in the back. So I am trying my best to not do anything and let it heal. This is not easy.


It's especially not easy since I have felt not-so-great about my overall condition lately. So, as of right now and until the end of the Open, I will not have anymore desserts and I will limit my sugar intake. No more cake (that's right). No more chocolaty Larabars. No more fro yo. More veggies, for real this time. I need to get back into the shape I was in last spring. If I'm going to be telling people what they should and shouldn't be eating, I should also follow that advice. 


So what am I hoping for this upcoming week? I'm hoping that they don't go too heavy right away. Because if they do, I will try, and I could hurt myself even more. I'm hoping for another met-con with some reasonable weight thrown in. I'm guessing they'll give us a 15 minute AMRAP with 3 different moves. And there better be double unders. Please, for the love of all things CrossFit, let there be double unders!!!

Moving from Goals to Achievements

I've used this blog to document my goals and achievements in the past. And I've done a lot in the past couple years (considering where I started, especially). I can RX

• Cindy
• Helen
• Fight Gone Bad
• Annie (duh)
• Fran (barely)

My 5K time has drastically improved and I can run a 10K like it's nothing. I need to remind myself that I have done a lot and I have come far, because honestly, it often feels like I'm not making progress.

So I've listed goals on this blog and in the box, thinking that it will help me reach those goals. I want:

• Handstand push-ups
• A 125 lb. clean
• 24 inch box jumps
• More pull-ups in a row

But what have I done to reach those goals? Not a lot. Do I practice 24" box jumps? I thought about it today, then I didn't. A couple weeks ago, I finally set a PR of 115 for my clean, then mentally checked out when I added 2 more pounds. Come on! That's just dumb! 

So here's the plan. I want to work on my pull-ups and box jumps. These are two moves I can practice before or after a WOD. I just need to push myself (and if someone wants to yell at me while I'm doing it, that will help). I will start with these two moves, then get over my HSPU fear. I have the strength. I just don't have the form.

I've started coaching. So far, it's been fine. No big disasters. Small, manageable classes (mostly people I know and a couple new faces). We've done moves I know well. But I want to become a really good coach. So I'm going to watch videos. I'm going to pay more attention to the other coaches. I'm going to do better. Our athletes are awesome and they deserve it.

Better coaching. Better crossfitting. And lose 10 pounds (more running + veggies). These are my goals. I'm going to get them this time.