The Things We Can Control

I've been quiet for a while, I know. It hasn't been the easiest summer, but I am hopeful that things will get better.

And it's in that spirit that I've committed to another Nutrition Challenge. I've been doing CrossFit for over 4 years now. So why should I do another challenge? I know how to eat right by now, right? (yes) I took the Whole 30 seminar, right? (yes) You know how important food is to your overall well-being, right? (YES!)

There are a lot of reasons for this. I'll get to the superficial one first. 

So, I'm currently nearing my pre-CrossFit weight. I know this doesn't mean much. It's distributed differently and concentrated more in muscle than fat, but still, I know there's a lot of room for improvement. So here I am pre-CrossFit

My hairdresser back then really liked to cut my hair short. I know better now.

Eh, I can do better, and I knew it. So this is me now.

Damn I look relaxed. That's what Lake Michigan does for me.

OK, this is pretty good, I'll admit that. But I've fluctuated a lot in the past couple years, and honestly, it's time for some stability.

So that's the superficial reason. I can look better and I know that. 

Next reason - I haven't been the best at CrossFit lately. I get frustrated. I get tired. I'm not lifting as much as I should.I'm skipping workouts because I don't want to do them.  I'm not really motivated to do well. I'm the first to say, "It's just exercise!" But every now and then I see glimpses of what I used to be able to do and I get excited. Nutrition is the biggest factor in our athletic performance. By far. There's not anything that comes close. So it's time to get that in order.

And the next - Terrible food makes you feel terrible. It's not rocket science. If you eat a lot of carbs and sugar and not a lot of veggies, you're going to feel like shit ... physically, mentally, emotionally. I need to be sharper. I need to have more energy. This is the easiest way to get there.

And the most important reason...I posted last week that there are so many things in life that we can't control, but what we eat is one that we can. And it impacts so much of our lives. It effects how we feel, how we sleep, how we function in the world. So why not actively try to feel better through food? 

I used to be terrified of flying. Like, it was bad. I would mask the fear with alcohol or Xanax, or both. But was that doing anything for the fear? No. I was still afraid every time I had to fly. But the last few times I've flown, I've decided to just sit with the fear. I try not to think about it. I sit on the plane. I listen to the sounds of take-off. I realize we're above the clouds and we're going to be OK...and I'm fine. I still don't love flying, but I'm learning to just sit with that fear and deal with it. Now I'm even more grateful for seeing the world from so high up.

Control the things we can. Accept and sit with what we can't. That's why I'm doing it this time.

Recovery/Reflection

Nostalgia has gotten the best of me many times in my life. Even though I've tried to approach events with a better perspective lately, it still comes in and often leaves me wistful. I know I should live in the moment. I know this.

Epic Relay was a couple weeks ago. Last year, I had so much fun. I couldn't wait for it this year. And it was fun this year...just different. I didn't feel that same excitement that I did after the race last year. And it made me realize that I can't keep trying to recreate things the way they were so I can feel the same way. I just need to look at them for what they are and find joy in the moment.

I did have fun. The running hurt. I was in much better running shape last year. My calf tensed up a lot. It was hot...again. But I got craftier and made some stuff to add some sparkle to the race.

My new motto. Stolen from Carleen Lessard, who apparently stole it from Shit Yogis Say.

And I got to hang out with these people. Really, they're some of the best people.

Anyway, I felt all sorts of physically terrible after the race. My calf really felt like a rock. I took some Epsom salt baths, and rolled out, and rested. Now it's fine. My shoulder actually hurt too, but that's an ongoing issue. I finally got a massage on Sunday, and although I need that all the time, I feel like it made a world of difference. I get lazy about recovery. I'll try to let things heal themselves, or go in with the mindset that if I ignore it, it will go away. It doesn't. Recovery is good and necessary and I only have this one body to take care of. It's up to me.

This month marks my 4 year CrossFit anniversary. It feels funny to reflect, since the first 2 years were so vastly different than the last 2, both personally and physically. I was a completely different person when I started. My progress was slow the first two years, which I feel was a combination of well, me, and the environment the gym was. There weren't a lot of people really trying to get better at a lot of things. The coaching has improved so much too.

2 years ago, I was at a very big turning point in my life. I made some really, really difficult decisions. My life became a lot more challenging. But, it was all for the better. I'm more confident in myself and in my writing. I'm learning to trust myself. And I'm almost 100% sure that I'm OK on my own (not that I want to be forever.) I also became slightly obsessed with CrossFit during that time (substitute one thing for another, I guess). And then I got way too into it and I got completely burnt out. So the past 6 months or so, I've just been trying to have fun with it. And it's getting better.

Also, lately I've felt like I want to do new things. I'll always have CrossFit, but there's so much more. So if there's a new trail or a new beach or a new activity, I'm in. Why not?

I'm not sure where I'll be in the next 2 years. Sometimes, life changes so quickly. If you had met me 4 years ago, you wouldn't even know it was me. I guess I just keep getting better. And I'm sticking to that plan.

Sometimes, It's Just a Boar

(This may be more personal than most of my blogs and it may make no sense at all. So if you want to read about CrossFit, I'd probably go ahead and read the CrossFit Journal)

I've been told by some people who seem to know me pretty well that I'm a very self-aware person. What does this mean? I guess that I understand why I act the way I act - beyond the surface level. I've been through a lot in my adult life and I've had to make some very difficult decisions and I have to deal with the consequences of these events and decisions. Geez, maybe I need a therapist.

Kidding (not really, everyone needs one). But anyway, what does this have to do with anything? I haven't had any alcohol in 2 weeks. This is a good thing for me to do every so often because it makes me sit with the feelings I have and why I would have a tendency to drink in the first place. Right, so I'm a lot like my dad. He was depressed for years. He died of cirrhosis after drinking so much for so long. Don't be like dad. Although I'm a very different person than he was, our core is the same. We value(d) the same things. But for the past 11 years, my goal has to been to react differently than he did to his life circumstances. Which is where I guess all the self-awareness comes in.

So last year, when I did the Whole 30, the sugar got to me. This time, the alcohol has been heavy on my mind. Mainly just thinking of the feelings I feel when I want some. They aren't great feelings, actually they're pretty awful. But we can't hide from everything, right?

I started watching some of the first season of LOST the other night. It's a fantastic season where we're just learning about these characters and their pasts that they were so desperate to run from. Most had done terrible things to others. Many couldn't let go of certain people in their lives (Sayid/Nadia, Boone/Shannon ... whoo...heavy stuff). These are some of the best characters ever written. I've always had a fondness for Sawyer.

Today in strength class, we were doing Good Mornings and for some reason, I can't stand them. And I realized that I don't like to do anything where the weight is on my back. I HATE back squats. I don't like push presses from behind the neck. I don't like Good Mornings. Hell, I don't even like going in reverse in my car. I started thinking about this while I was standing there in the sun, in the bay. And I thought of all these metaphors. I won't go into them. They're terrible. Whatever. But then I smiled thinking of Sawyer chasing after this boar in the jungle. That boar kept getting into his stuff and he thought that the boar had a vendetta against him. Then he came face to face with the boar. And he realized, it was just a boar. Sometimes, that's all it is.

Yikes, maybe I should drink if this is the stuff I'm coming up with.

My 45-Day Challenge

My box is starting a 45 day nutrition challenge today and while I'm not officially a part of it, I am trying my best to support my community and my own health. This means a few things:

No alcohol. My mom is probably my biggest influence on me, whether she likes it or not, and she said something to me a week ago that affected me substantially. I know she cares about me and I know I need to care more about myself, so I'm cutting out alcohol for this 45 days. Actually, I haven't had any in a week. It would be nice to say, 'Oh, I'll only allow myself 2 drinks a week,' but I know myself. It's all or nothing. I just have to sit with my emotions instead of trying to make them go away with wine or food. It is not easy. Actually, it's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

Less coffee. I never drank coffee until I worked in an office. Since then, it's become habit. It's become a lot of habit lately. I'm limiting myself to one cup/16oz a day. Coffee just makes my anxiety worse, so if I can limit it, I might be more of a pleasant person in general. Plus, drinking less coffee might inspire me to drink more water, which is also something I need to do.

More veggies. It's embarrassing how bad I've gotten about this. I generally like veggies, they're in season, yet I still don't eat enough of them. So, I went to Lone Pine Farms yesterday and stocked up for a while. My friend's mom also gave me some good stuff from her garden. Just need to make it a habit.

More cooking for myself. Also embarrassing how lazy I've gotten about this. I can't really afford to eat out so much. I don't really enjoy cooking. I wish I did. Until I make something that I absolutely love, this will seem like a chore to me. Sigh.

Try to cut out the crap - grains, sugar, legumes, dairy, etc. I'm not going to beat myself up if I slip, but I can actually limit these things pretty easily, especially if I focus on my above steps.

So there. What do I expect from this? Lots of internal stuff. Taking care of myself and taking control of some of my issues counts for a lot in my overall well-being. Plus, I just might be a more pleasant person to be around, which many of you would appreciate :)

Self Talk

Yesterday while I was coaching, one of my favorite athletes asked me what I tell myself in the middle of a workout. This is a good question since I've been telling myself a lot of stuff lately just to keep going. I posted this over two years ago (wow!), which details my thought process during a workout. My mindset hasn't changed much. I don't listen to an ipod when I run; I generally let myself think and feel and be in the moment. But this is a sampling of what I tell myself when I need to keep going.


"You've done this before. You'll do this again."
"That ball won't pick itself up."
"I never walk during a run. I'm not going to start now."
"Of course I want to stop. I always want to stop. But I can't. I'll keep going until I can't go anymore."
"I am SO HUNGRY." (this is usually during a metcon after we've lifted heavy stuff)
"SISU!"
"Should I take my shirt off? It's hot. I don't want it to look like I'm taking my shirt off for the sake of taking it off, but it really is hot."
"Pick up the bar."
"Pick up the ball."
"Run faster."
"Shit. I'm not going to set a PR. But I can't quit. I'll keep working until I can't."
"I don't care if my hand just tore. I have to finish these pull-ups."
"I can do this."
"If that person can do this, I can do it." (I try not to resort to this.)
"I can't get a PR if I stop."
"I can't get a DNF by my name."
"This feeling will go away." 
"I hate running. But I'm here and I have to."
"Breathe."


Feel free to add anything that works for you. I know I have a tendency to drown out other people and/or music and focus on my own thoughts (unless the song is really bad, then that's all I can think of). Basically, don't quit. I'm not a quitter.

Moderating (or not)

I eat cleaner than the vast majority of Americans. And I understand that eating clean can mean different things to different people. Many people would look at a Yumm bowl and think, “Rice, avocado, olives, tomatoes, edamame...that looks pretty healthy!” Sure...but not for me. Grains are probably not the best choice all around (although I don’t think that a little rice now and then can hurt). I don’t want to admit it or believe it, but I think there’s something in Yumm sauce (like crack) that makes me congested. Because that’s how I feel now when I eat something I’m not supposed to - congested. Thanks Whole 30. Now I’m acutely aware of how food makes me feel.

It seems like I’ll go through phases where I’ll eat pretty clean, then I’ll allow myself some treats, then I’ll just go off the deep end and I can’t button my jeans anymore. Then I’ll realize I need to clean it up, I’ll stay that way for a few weeks, then I’m back to the sweatpants. I remember reading something in a magazine a while back...a word I hear people say once in a while that I don’t really understand...something like...moderation?

Of course! Moderation! Duh! This could mean eating 90% paleo and allowing a cheat meal once a week. That sounds great! That sounds easy! That sounds...COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY UNDOABLE!!!   

I am not a moderator. I can’t eat two Thin Mints. Is there anyone in the world who could eat two Thin Mints? Once that box is open, they’re gone in a matter of minutes. And this isn't just about food! If I like something, I want a lot of it. Baseball just started. You think I can check scores and standings once a week or once a day? Forget it. My time is occupied from now until the end of October (since the Tigers will win it all this year). Moderation is not in my vocabulary.

CrossFit workouts are “fun.” They make you feel like your body is actually doing something. They push you to work harder. Beat the clock. Beat your last time. Get one more rep. Do it! Sometimes we’ll plan on a rest day, then see what the workout is that day and think, ‘I have to do this one! I’ll take a rest day eventually. Maybe the next day.’ And it never happens and we get burnt out and injured. OK, this doesn’t always happen, but sometimes it can. I think I’ve almost figured out a way to find ‘moderation’ in CrossFit.

Rest (sometimes)
Don’t go crazy RX superhard beastmode every day
Listen to your body
Let your coaches scale you
Stop comparing yourself to other people*

*A special word on this last one. During the CrossFit Open, of course we compare ourselves to others. We’re all doing the same workout with the same weights. I was disappointed in a lot of my workouts, but I need to factor in the rest of my life. My stress level this past year has been a lot higher than in the past. I don’t want to mention how many times I’ve moved in the past year, and how different my life is now than how it used to be. These are important factors that the leaderboards don’t measure.

I need to think of food this way, too. I think dairy makes me break out. Sugar turns me into a monster. Ordering a Yumm bowl a few times a week is just lazy. Do I want to be this way? No. So I need to be mindful of the choices I make and what behaviors and side effects they will cause. I need to be accountable for how I act and how I present myself to the world. Food is a big part of that. Food is just the first step. Time to reset, yet again.

Confidence

I haven't been making significant gains lately and I'm sure I could attribute that to factors that are measurable, like diet. But the more likely reason I'm not making gains is because of the biggest factor that I can't measure: confidence. I want to make these gains so bad, especially in strength, but the truth is that I don't feel like I can do it.


And this isn't something a motivational quote will help with. CrossFit is full of motivational crap. I get it. I know I can do it. But I don't feel like I can do it.


I've been taking Oly lifting classes for the past month to try to get stronger. The first two classes were disasters, with me almost crying in both of them. And in the third class, the instructor said to me, "You looked good. You just need to be confident that you can get under that bar."  I have the strength. My form isn't great and the frustration takes over when the weight gets heavy, and I collapse. I know I need to be more aggressive. I know I have to move my feet. I know this.


And this applies to other areas of my life. I've really been working on what I want to be doing professionally, and what I've figured out is that my confidence has prevented me from doing a lot in the past 10 years. I don't think I'm the best writer or teacher or whatever I do. I'm feeling better about my teaching (I got stellar evaluations from my students last term), but I'm still hesitant to apply to other places. In order to make real money, I should probably get a different job, which would take a whole new level of confidence. It is the most important thing I have to work on this year.


And funny enough, I'm very confident in other areas of my life. I can tell someone how I feel about them in ways that shock my friends. But I have to. What's the point of holding that back? They don't like me? I can deal with that.


I wish I could feel as confident in many areas of my life as I look here:

If I could just stay in that mindset, I'll finally get to where I need to go.

The Whole 30

I've heard rumors of a nutrition challenge coming up in our box. Normally, I would not do it. Normally, I eat what I wanna eat. But, I'm going to do this one. Why?


Honestly, I kinda feel like a heifer lately. 


Before you say anything, I know that I'm not a heifer. I know I don't look like a heifer. But I do feel like a heifer. And it's time for me to start making some progress in the box. So, I'm committing myself to the Whole 30.


 


Here's what I like about it:

• It's strict. It's not messing around. I like that. I need that. I'm not a 'moderation' kind of gal.
• It's whole food. Whole food is generally better than processed food.
• Other people will be doing this too.
• I need the discipline.

Here's what I don't like about it:

• There's a huge section on what I can't eat. (Don't tell me what I can't do!!!)
• I can't eat a lot of what I've been eating.
• I can't eat ice cream.

It's been a stressful summer for me. At times, I've been great with my eating. OK, there haven't been too many of these times. I need to lay off the booze for a while. And honestly, I need to challenge myself.


Here's what I'm most interested in finding out:

• Will my skin clear up? I hope so, because it's been a disaster this summer.
• Will I set some strength PRs? I hope so, because it's time.
• Will I break? I never stick to eating plans. Never!!! When I try, it's all I think about until I go to the freezer and get the aforementioned ice cream.

Challenges

• This will start next week. I need to move again in the next few weeks. Moving = stress and trying to find convenient food. Be prepared!!!
• I have like 5 bottles of wine in my fridge. Am I supposed to drink these within the next week? What about all the other crap in my kitchen?
• I will be ornery! Like, super ornery. Deal with it!
• No Luna Protein Bars. Have you had these? They're like candy bars, but better (I think). 
• Seriously, no ice cream?

I may need to think about this again.

Talent and Strength

I read parts of the book The Talent Code this weekend. It's a book about how some people excel at skills because of how they learn and how they practice. Basically (and this is a very basic recounting of this theory), most people practice by doing something over and over and over again. But that's not the most efficient way of learning. People can learn and excel much faster if they make mistakes and correct them as they practice. Seems simple, right? But people hate making mistakes, which is why so many people can't get better.


This researcher studied these pools of talent - places where a high number of people achieve a certain skill - Baseball players from the Dominican Republic (some of them are Tigers!), a school in Russia where top tennis players in the world train. They don't just practice throwing and hitting balls. Their ways of learning are completely different than regular schools. I wonder how the top athletes in the Crossfit Games learn their skills.


We practice skills a lot in Crossfit. Sometimes I roll my eyes and think, "Come on. I know how to do a push press." But I'm just impatient. I know I can lift heavier weights, I just don't have the skill (especially for overhead squats). I know some of my friends can do pull-ups, they just can't get the kipping motion. We practice in a group to go over technique. Every box is different. I know some don't spend as much time on skills as we do, but the coaches correct the athletes as we build up in weights. I wonder what might be most effective. The athlete needs direction from the coach, but to build real skill, the athlete also needs to correct themselves when doing a lift. They're split second corrections that we might not even realize, but they increase learning and in doing so, increase skill.


I wonder if anyone wants to do this study with Crossfitters.


Also, I did not read the whole book and I skimmed over the scientific stuff. I'm horrible at learning.

:)

“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, 

and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. ”

Christopher Robin to Pooh

A.A. Milne

 

Inspired

I came back from Regionals pretty inspired. I saw some seriously amazing athletic performances and attitude last weekend. So I decided to hit it hard this week and try to get in top shape so I can make it on the team next year.

Here's what I didn't do this week:

• I didn't eat the cake sitting out all week at work. On Monday, it was a huge sheet cake. Then it sat in the fridge, decreasing as the week progressed. I did not have any cake.
• I didn't have any chocolate-covered espresso bean/almonds/whatever they were at a theatre meeting on Tuesday. I was working out right after, and although they looked delicious, I did not snack on them.
• I did not eat the $3 lunch I asked about at the espresso stand near work. She said that she'd have biscuits & gravy and baked potatoes. Even though it was cold out and it sounded warm and comforting and cheap, I did not buy the $3 lunch.
• I did not work out 5 days in a row, even though I wanted to.
• I did not take an ice bath after that awful lunge workout, although I probably should have.
• I did not go to the new frozen yogurt place over by Crossfit .... because it's not open yet.

Here's what I did do this week:

• I tried my hardest on Monday. Not many women can get ring dips, but I'm close. I also really worked at getting all the toes to bar.
• I started the 100 day GHD sit-up challenge and push-up challenge. I'm pretty confident about the push-up challenge. I don't know how far I'll make it with the GHDs. I don't really want to mess around with those. I'll be lucky if I make it to day 30.
• But I did do 81 AbMat sit-ups in 2 minutes.
• I rounded my back on my 185lb. and 195lb. deadlifts. I know I need to work on these.
• I kicked butt on this short AMRAP with a sprint and increasing squats and double unders.
• I did 4 hard days of working out (I'm including tomorrow's because I always show up). It hurts to sit and stand today and I think tomorrow will be really, really difficult.
• I bought a sandwich for lunch today. I'm sorry. I like bread sometimes. I'm not perfect!

All around not bad, but not Games athlete material. I'm working on it.

Goals:

• Work on lifting form. I'm strong enough to lift more weight. I'm just scared.
• Keep an eating log for a week. I don't like being that honest when it comes to food. I eat a lot - and it's not all good. I'd like to weigh in the 120s and I'm close. Real close. I need to be more mindful of my eating.
• Recovery - take it seriously! This hurts!

Moves to work on (and consistently work on them a couple times a week):

Ring dips

Handstand push-ups

24" box jumps

GHD sit-ups

Yep, the Rocky theme is playing in my head right now. Too bad it hurts to move.

Focus

I like this recent post from Mark's Daily Apple. One of the many things I like about Crossfit is that I usually can't let my mind wander when I'm there, and if I do let it wander I miss some sort of direction or can't lift the weight I want to lift. 


I'm a pretty distracted person. I'm distracted by screens and websites. I wish I was distracted by smart things, like books, but I can't seem to concentrate long enough to finish this one lately, even though I know it's fairly brilliant. Instead my mind wanders to decisions I've made in my life and whether I'm making the right ones lately. Just so distracted these days. If I don't go to Crossfit, I'll just sit and think and over-analyze. That's never the right decision.


I don't own a smart phone because I don't want to be one of those people sitting across from you at a table looking at their phone. That's annoying. I have a very dumb phone, but it allows me to call my mom and my sisters, and that's enough for me. In the past, I would text or talk while driving, but I haven't done that for years. I even try to avoid looking at the phone while I'm walking, which seems to be how most people get around these days. I have also not walked into any walls lately or tripped over my feet. Not recently.


It bothers me how distracted people have become. I used to zone out on the elliptical reading US Weekly and watching SportsCenter. Always just zoning out, not really in the present. I can't do that for tomorrow's workout - Jackie. I'm pretty slow at rowing, and if I zone out, I'll just sit there rowing while everyone else has moved onto pull-ups, then I'll be the last one doing pull-ups. Crossfit has helped me in a lot of ways, and although you can't always see it, it's definitely made me more present in my life.

Oprah Knows Best

I just watched a very special Oprah. She had the author of a book I haven't read, "Women Food and God." 

Yeah, I'll probably order it or put my name on the waiting list at the library or something. I was thinking about my eating habits this weekend. I think I eat like a dog. No, not Beneful. A dog's instinct is to eat what's in front of them because in the wild, they might not know when they'll eat again. I know in my head that I don't have to eat everything in the house. But sometimes I do. And I know I'm sabotaging everything I work for. But I still do it. I'm the same way with money too, but that's for a different blog, a different time.

So Oprah and her writer buddy talked about this book and the audience had read the book and they had their sob stories and their questions. It comes back to mindfulness and recognizing what hunger feels like and capturing that moment when you want something and recognizing that moment and seeing the spirituality in it. Or something like that. But Oprah did say something that applies to what we do in Crossfit:

"The guidelines mean nothing unless you're willing to do the work."

For me it's stress and boredom. And it's about wanting to feel a different feeling. I don't want to be bored. I'll have some chocolate. Stress sucks and I can't get out of it, so I might as well eat something and give myself something else to do. This isn't how I want to be. And it could be a fear of failure and a whole lot of other things. There's a lot in my head that I'm not putting down here, but trust me. I can do better, but it will take a lot of relearning. 

I put the work into Crossfit. I go like 5 times a week, even when I don't feel like it. Maybe I need some friends or something. But if I can put the same work into Crossfit as I put into eating, a year from now I'll be the person I know I can be.

Oh Oprah, you're so wise.

Mindfulness

A very wise woman once told me that the key to emotional eating is mindfulness. I've heard about this concept before. Think about what you're eating. Enjoy every bite. Etc, etc. I eat too fast to do that. But I was thinking about mindfulness last night in terms of the WOD's. One of the many reasons I love Crossfit is that you can't really think about anything else while you're doing a WOD. You have to think about what you're doing or else you'll screw up. You'll hurt yourself or somebody else. Then I thought that it would be great if someone could record my thoughts while doing a workout. Say I was going to do Helen after work on a Tuesday. I can imagine this would be my thought process as we were getting ready to do the workout.


OK, I'm nervous. Maybe I should throw up. Or at least pee. I don't have time. OK, I can do this.
3-2-1 Go!
Running. I hate running. My ass feels like it's bouncing. Great. I'm not supposed to swing my arms in front of me. I'll pretend like I'm cross-country skiing. I really feel like walking. I can't walk. I never walk. It's only 400 meters. I've done this a million times. I'm not the slowest one here today. That's good. Wait til the pull-ups. Then I'll be the slowest one. Why can't I run faster? I keep trying to run faster! I really want to walk, but I can't walk. Keep running. It's almost done.
Ok, kettlebells. One pood. I should have tried for one and a half. I'm totally strong. OK, I'll do 10 in a row and see how I'm doing. I hope none of the kettlebells fly out of anyone's hands and hit me. That would be a disaster. OK. I totally rule the kettlebells and should do one and a half pood next time. I can totally do 25 in a row. I'm awesome. My hands are getting sweaty. I hope it doesn't fly out of my hands and hit somebody. That would be even worse. 
OK, pull-ups. Only 12. I can totally do 12 pull-ups in a row. I've done this before. Why is the red band so much harder than the blue? OK, I can do  6 pull-ups in a row. I hate pull-ups so much. I can't finish this workout. Yes I can. I've done it before. 6 more. OK, 3 at a time. I know I can do this. OK. First round done. Now back to running.


This is typically where I zone out until I get to the last round of running.


Why am I so slow? Where is everyone else? How did three people finish and I still have one more round to go? It's those damn pull-ups that slow me down. I can totally make up time on the running, right? This is where I can go faster. .... OK, maybe not. But this is the last time I have to run. No more running today after this. If I can make it around this corner, I'll be good. I've run this a million times.
I'm so glad I didn't use one and a half pood. There's no way I could have done this. I'll do 12 in a row. I know I can do 12 in a row, then a really quick rest. My hands are so sweaty. Damn it! This is where I can make up time. I can totally get all these in a row.
OK. Only 12 pull-ups. Then I'm done. I can do these. I know I can. 4 at a time. OK, 8 more. ... 6 more. DAMN IT! Why do these goddamn pull-ups always do this to me? I have 6 more to go and I'm going to be doing them 2 at a time. I HATE PULL-UPS! Why can't I do real ones yet? I've been doing this for almost a year! I would be done if I had used the blue band. Two more, then a break. I'm so close to being done. Why is Jeremy yelling at me? Why are people cheering me on? STOP IT!!! This is going to take me a while to do these 3 stupid pull-ups! One at a time now. My arms are done. Use your body to pull you up. Damn it! One more! I can do this. I can do this.


Time.


That's my idea of mindfulness during a workout.