Just Go

A friend recently sent me a message after seeing one of my pictures saying that I looked happier, more natural. True, my life has seen a lot of change lately, mostly for the better. New people, new places. I try to be cautious, although maybe it's not always for the best. Anyway...

I spent last weekend up at the North West Regional, working for the Media team. It was an exhausting, but fun weekend. And as much as I feel like I sometimes get burnt out on CrossFit this past year, I felt re-energized coming back. I worked out more than normal last week. I tried to work more with my right arm, since I'm tired of it not working. It'll all come back. I know I've gotten stronger in recent months, but I need to work on getting faster.

I've had a lot of trouble running lately. I just don't find any joy in it. I want to like it. I want to like it SO MUCH!  But it just doesn't do it for me. This has been frustrating me since Epic Relay is coming up and I will run and ideally, I'll run better than I did last year. I have a lot of motivation to do better right now. Not only is the relay coming up, but I have gained a little weight and I need to get it back off (I know 99% of that is eating. I know.) I did fine running Bark in the Park a few weeks ago, but that was a race. On my own, I just give up. And with a friend, we just end up talking.

So this morning I got up and just started running. I just ran around my new neighborhood. My goals are low these days - no matter how far I'm going, just keep going. That's been the problem lately. I just stop. But I thought about one of my most favorite athletes competing last weekend. When I talked to her after she won Event 4, she said all that was running through her mind was "Just Go." So that's what I did today. It felt like I ran 10 miles, even though it was under three. It felt like I was sprinting, although my pace was slower than usual. But I ran. No walking today. Just go.

And as much as things have been better lately, and I've been happier overall, maybe it burns even harder when things go wrong. Yesterday, I had a terrible afternoon. Really, really bad. And it got much worse when I couldn't find something that's irreplaceable to me. It's the most valuable thing I own and I can't find it. I started hyperventilating yesterday looking for it...my notebook I carry with me all the time, with so many of my ideas and so many of my very personal thoughts.

Deep breath. I'll find it. I will find it. Prioritize. Cover the bases. Make it happen. Don't make all the good disappear just because of one afternoon. Be grateful for what I have - my friends, my family, my health, my talent - and just breathe.

The Cruellest Month

T.S. Eliot wrote that "April is the cruellest month." I disagree. It's January. January is terrible. You've gone through some sort of holiday break, only to be greeted in the new year by work and cold. It's dark. Here it's grey. And this year, it's especially cold (with no snow. If it's cold, there should be snow.) For me, I have personal reasons for not liking January, but let's not get into it here.

I know how I get, and I know I need strategies to help me avoid a total collapse. I try to read. I try to get my writing done. I disappear into the movie theater. I say 'yes' to every plan or event anyone invites me to. I cannot sink into that terrible hole I know is there waiting for me.

I will also go to the gym. Obviously, since that's what this blog is about. I've been doing a lot of strength type stuff lately, but I know I have to get back into doing met-cons. I need to have a timer going and I need to feel my heart racing. I did the Dirty 30 last week and it was ....awful. Just terrible. Nowhere to go but up, right?

When I got back from the Midwest, my modest goal was to get into the best shape of my life. I started eating more vegetables and avoiding the sugar/bread stuff. I've been a little lax on that lately. I may have had a warm brownie at Starbucks today (it was soooo nice). And I may have had a Yumm bowl, or 4, in the past week. Pull it together, Robin!

So nothing really gets done without goals and a plan. I'm f-ing certified in goal-setting, damn it! 

So what does getting into the best shape of my life mean?

• Physically, slimming down a little, especially in my midsection and thighs
• Emotionally, being at peace with my life (OK, that's too lofty)
• Mentally, setting and reaching manageable goals with my writing

So how do I do this?

• Keep going to strength, but also try to do 2-3 regular WODs a week. 
• Run about 5 extra miles a week
• Row (intervals)
• Let my arm/shoulder heal
• Less screen time
• Turn off email/fb when I need to write
• Take one day at a time. Do what I need to do. Don't be so hard on myself.

These are vague - they are more specific in my head and on my real list. During certain times of the year, it takes more work than it should to just get out of bed. But I know these times pass. Just showing up, in life and at the gym, is most of the battle.

Grace

A year ago, we held a Barbells for Boobs event where we raise money for Mammograms in Action. The workout is Grace - 30 Clean & Jerks for time. RX for women is 95#. It's a short workout, one that some people can do in a little over a minute, but most can manage it, with the right weight, between 3-7 minutes. Last year I did the workout in 3:31 with 75#. I also said, "I'm going to RX it next year!" I am a person who sticks to her word.

We also did this workout this June. I decided to try 85#. This time I finished in 4:48. Again, I said, "I'm going to RX it this year!"

A couple months ago, the event was posted and I made the proclamation, "I'm going to RX it this year!"

And today was the day.

So I had to do it.

I've not been feeling especially CrossFit-y lately. I certainly haven't felt very strong. (A very wise friend told me "...you will be as strong tomorrow as you need to be!") Lately, every time I do a benchmark workout, I've done worse. In my mind today, I had the brief thought that I could just do 85# again and that would be fine. But it wouldn't be. I said I would do it RX. I told it to other people. I convinced myself.

For the first 10 reps, I thought my heart was going to beat right out of my body. It was racing so fast. My adrenaline has been a little higher than normal lately. Add in stress and pressure from myself, and it's off the charts. I'm not good at short workouts. Give me a 20 minute AMRAP any day. Please! Give me time to breathe!

But I kept going. One rep at a time. Heavy, heavy shit.

And I may have been the last to finish in my heat. And I may have had the slowest time on the board today, but I finished. And I finished under 10 minutes (9:17 to be exact). And that is what matters. I said I was going to do it. And damn it, it's done.

Many CrossFitters experience the same cycle of starting CrossFit, learning the movements, seeing huge gains, plateauing, working more on technique, then seeing more gains, plateauing, etc. And the gains usually come when a lot of other stuff in your life is working, such as diet and sleep. Or they come when you feel the motivation to do better, whether from yourself or from others. Sometimes those plateaus get longer and longer as time goes by.

I know I'm on the right track and I know that I'll see gains again soon. I need to keep reminding myself that I am where I am right now, and it's up to me to change that if I need to. But sometimes I need to make big declarations to the world in order to do the things I need to do.

Which reminds me, if you haven't seen my Kickstarter project, please have a look. I'm incredibly grateful for the support I've received already. I have two weeks to go to raise another $1200. I know I will. I just said I would.
Reinventing Home

Setting the Bar

So I think I'm finally able to move my arms again. That will change again tomorrow, I'm sure. For Open WOD 12.3, we finally got a CrossFit WOD! 18 minutes of box jumps, push presses, and toes to bar. Awesome! And it didn't feel as bad as I thought it would when I did it Thursday. That also means I could have pushed harder. By Friday evening, I started to hurt. By Saturday morning, I was sooooo sore. And for some stupid reason, I decided to try it again this morning. Let's just not talk about that.


The hard part about the workout for me was the push presses. 75lbsx12 per round = real heavy, real fast. The toes to bar was like a break for me. It hasn't always been this way.


I don't know what it is about this move that pisses off so many people. Maybe it's because when athletes are good at it, it looks so effortless. But it does take a lot of effort. Those of us who can do them felt that effort as the rounds added up.


But many people struggle with the movement. All you have to do is a big kip, swing your feet up, and touch the bar, right? Sure! OK, well, not really.


Last year, I judged one of my favorite people in the world. She did her 5 heavy power cleans, then spent 18 minutes trying to get one toes to bar. She did leave and cry at one time. BUT she came back! And she kept trying. This year, she did 34 toes to bar. So proud.


And this weekend, I worked with 2 other athletes who knew they could post a score to the Games site with what they had already done, but who continued to work at getting those toes to bar. And if they keep coming in and working on them, next year, not a problem.


The Open can expose our weaknesses. I'm not good at short workouts. I know this. I like the 10 minute + workouts. I haven't been great at box jumps before, but somehow, they're starting to click with me. I need to work on stringing them together. As long as we work on these things, and KEEP TRYING, we will get better. 


And hopefully, by the time they release 12.4 (double unders and heavy cleans?), I'll be able to move my arms again.

Moving from Goals to Achievements

I've used this blog to document my goals and achievements in the past. And I've done a lot in the past couple years (considering where I started, especially). I can RX

• Cindy
• Helen
• Fight Gone Bad
• Annie (duh)
• Fran (barely)

My 5K time has drastically improved and I can run a 10K like it's nothing. I need to remind myself that I have done a lot and I have come far, because honestly, it often feels like I'm not making progress.

So I've listed goals on this blog and in the box, thinking that it will help me reach those goals. I want:

• Handstand push-ups
• A 125 lb. clean
• 24 inch box jumps
• More pull-ups in a row

But what have I done to reach those goals? Not a lot. Do I practice 24" box jumps? I thought about it today, then I didn't. A couple weeks ago, I finally set a PR of 115 for my clean, then mentally checked out when I added 2 more pounds. Come on! That's just dumb! 

So here's the plan. I want to work on my pull-ups and box jumps. These are two moves I can practice before or after a WOD. I just need to push myself (and if someone wants to yell at me while I'm doing it, that will help). I will start with these two moves, then get over my HSPU fear. I have the strength. I just don't have the form.

I've started coaching. So far, it's been fine. No big disasters. Small, manageable classes (mostly people I know and a couple new faces). We've done moves I know well. But I want to become a really good coach. So I'm going to watch videos. I'm going to pay more attention to the other coaches. I'm going to do better. Our athletes are awesome and they deserve it.

Better coaching. Better crossfitting. And lose 10 pounds (more running + veggies). These are my goals. I'm going to get them this time.

Certified

Soooooo.....after a lovely (cold) weekend in Portland and a loooong week of waiting for test results, I can now say that I am a CrossFit Level 1 Trainer. Yay! This is something I've wanted to do for a long time. I love writing and I teach writing, so it made sense to me to teach CrossFit since, well, I love CrossFit. So here is a recap of the past week or so.


The Cert
I sat down for the Cert and looked through my binder and notes. Some of us noticed a short guy in a red sweatshirt and a knit cap walking around up front. Then the whispering started. Was that ... could it be...Heck yeah! Chris Spealler was our instructor! Awesome! He's like, as CrossFit as you can get! 

Our first day was filled with lots of basic CrossFit info and reviewing the 9 basic movements of CrossFit. We ended the day with Fran. Spealler joked at the beginning that we were going to do it right then (like 9am day one) and actually, by the end of that day, I wish we had done it earlier. I was pretty tired and hungry but still determined to RX it. And much to my dismay, I was the last person in my heat to finish and EVERYONE watched me do my pull-ups. They even no-repped me a few times! I got a 6 second PR and finished in 9:01. Fran is not my friend.  And, honestly, it kinda looks like Fran punched me in the face a little.

He's a little stronger than me, but I'm catching up!

Day 2 featured more skills practice, a lecture on nutrition (interesting after being immersed in the Whole 30), and a fun workout involving running, double unders, and kb swings. After lots of fun stuff, we took the test. Full disclosure: I didn't really study for the test. I should have. But I didn't. And yes, I passed. But I've also been doing CrossFit for over 2 years. Still, it was stressful. All of the trainers at the Cert were awesome. I came back energized and all full of CrossFit love. I come in on Monday for some Mobility work and to cheer on my friends through Nancy. And then...


I got sick.


I never get sick. Stupid cold. I tried working out on Tuesday - double unders and power cleans. Awesome! Not so much! I was exhausted through the whole thing and couldn't get my hips to work. Ugh. I had to take 2 rest days in a row this week! Today I'm feeling a little better and I am going to go in. I know I have other hobbies, but I miss my friends. One of the factors that could have caused this setback:


My Poor Eating Habits
Fine. I did the Whole 30. Then I eased back into my life. Then I just went off the deep end. Dessert every night! And a glass of wine! Moderation? What does that mean?


To give you an example, after day one of the Cert, I went back to my hotel and ate at the restaurant. I don't just get one bad thing. I get:

• A burger (with bacon and a fried egg - but no cheese!)
• A glass of wine
• AND A piece of pie WITH ice cream

Why? Why do I do this? Why can't I get one bad thing? Why do I have to do it all? Yes, I was so hungry after that long day, but I didn't need to do this. And I've started to get take-out more and more, which I know I don't need to do (given, my take out is better than fast food, but still).


So I've decided to do a Whole 10. I need smaller goals and some sense of direction. I need to remind myself that I can control myself. Today is day 2. I can totally make it, because honestly, I need to


Do Better
I haven't made any real progress since Spring. Yes, I've set PRs on some benchmarks lately, but they aren't big PRs (a few seconds here and there). I know I can lift more and run faster. I need to have a period of gains and in order to do that, I need to take this stuff seriously. So I need to dial in my eating, focus on form, and take rest days. Lead by example. That's my goal.

Do Better

It doesn’t get any easier.

You wouldn’t want it to either.

-Greg Glassman

Image stolen from the internets :)

I also wish I looked like this in my short shorts. I do not.

This weekend, I'm going to get my CrossFit Level One Certification in Portland. I've wanted to do this for a long time. When I saw it posted a couple months ago, I figured I'd never really be able to afford it anyway, so I might as well do it now. There's always an excuse not to, so I signed up. I like teaching. I teach writing and sometimes it's amazing. I love CrossFit, so I figure why not teach that, too? I'm also looking forward to spending a weekend immersed in it. I could use a refresher at this point.

I've not been the best CrossFitter lately. I show up; my attendance is spectacular! I do the workouts. But that's all. I don't think a 20 second PR on Helen is anything to get too excited about, especially when my pull-ups are horrible. Just horrible! I did PR on Fight Gone Bad last week, but I also had about 5 people yelling at me the whole time. I also set a PR on Grace, but I still haven't tried to RX it. 

It doesn't get easier. I really want to get stronger. I want to get faster. I also still want to have my wine and ice cream. So what has to give? I haven't had a period of gains in a long time - really since the spring. The cert is coming at a good time. I know how to reign in my eating. I've done that and I know I can do it if I want to. Even last night I could have picked up some take out after a late WOD, but I didn't. I made my own food. So what do I need to do to improve?

• Work on Mobility. Ugh! My shoulders are so tight lately. So tight. If they felt like real shoulders again, I might be able to kip better, or get under the bar better, or be more active overhead. We depend on our shoulders for so much!
• Hold on to the bar! My hands keep ripping when I do too many pull-ups. My grip is seriously limiting my workouts. I need to sand my hands and toughen up. And I need to practice my pull-ups. I can only seem to do 5 in a row at this point, and that really isn't going to get me anywhere.
• Clean heavier! I like to think I'm good at cleans, but I've been stuck on the same weight since April. I can finally lift 110, but once I knock it up to 115, my mind is out of it. I should be able to do 125. I can do do 125. It's all mental at this point. 

So that's enough to work on. Basically, I need to snap out of it. I'm stuck and I need to do better. That is all.

Reset

The idea of this Whole 30 challenge is to reset your system. Get all the sugar and gunk out. I think many of us are taking this a few ways.


Yeah, we've been getting away with thinking we're all that because we show up at the box and we do our workouts and we PR sometimes and we're awesome. But some of us are not making the progress we'd like to make. So to those of us embarking on this, I suggest reading this classic Crossfit Journal article, "Getting off the Crack." I like what she says towards the end:

"I had never experienced so directly and consistently the practice of not giving up when it gets hard. Every time I entered my kitchen I had the opportunity to fail. It would have been so easy. But I didn’t, and I cannot describe emphatically enough the rewards—both physical and mental— that getting through that has brought to my life."

It's a good read. 


I'm not going to use this blog to chronicle what I'm eating, as I'm guessing what you're eating will look and probably taste better. Instead, I'm going to chronicle what I spend on food this next month. Americans use the excuse of cost to not eat healthy. I understand. I may have to look at what I've spent this past month to compare. I don't like doing that and I may guesstimate, but I'll try to figure it out. I do shop at Market of Choice. I don't even know what to do in a Safeway anymore. But you'll see what I spend, and hopefully, it will be about equal to what I spend on the junk.


And good luck to all of us - next week. Until then, the frozen yogurt shops will know me by name. 

Inspired

I came back from Regionals pretty inspired. I saw some seriously amazing athletic performances and attitude last weekend. So I decided to hit it hard this week and try to get in top shape so I can make it on the team next year.

Here's what I didn't do this week:

• I didn't eat the cake sitting out all week at work. On Monday, it was a huge sheet cake. Then it sat in the fridge, decreasing as the week progressed. I did not have any cake.
• I didn't have any chocolate-covered espresso bean/almonds/whatever they were at a theatre meeting on Tuesday. I was working out right after, and although they looked delicious, I did not snack on them.
• I did not eat the $3 lunch I asked about at the espresso stand near work. She said that she'd have biscuits & gravy and baked potatoes. Even though it was cold out and it sounded warm and comforting and cheap, I did not buy the $3 lunch.
• I did not work out 5 days in a row, even though I wanted to.
• I did not take an ice bath after that awful lunge workout, although I probably should have.
• I did not go to the new frozen yogurt place over by Crossfit .... because it's not open yet.

Here's what I did do this week:

• I tried my hardest on Monday. Not many women can get ring dips, but I'm close. I also really worked at getting all the toes to bar.
• I started the 100 day GHD sit-up challenge and push-up challenge. I'm pretty confident about the push-up challenge. I don't know how far I'll make it with the GHDs. I don't really want to mess around with those. I'll be lucky if I make it to day 30.
• But I did do 81 AbMat sit-ups in 2 minutes.
• I rounded my back on my 185lb. and 195lb. deadlifts. I know I need to work on these.
• I kicked butt on this short AMRAP with a sprint and increasing squats and double unders.
• I did 4 hard days of working out (I'm including tomorrow's because I always show up). It hurts to sit and stand today and I think tomorrow will be really, really difficult.
• I bought a sandwich for lunch today. I'm sorry. I like bread sometimes. I'm not perfect!

All around not bad, but not Games athlete material. I'm working on it.

Goals:

• Work on lifting form. I'm strong enough to lift more weight. I'm just scared.
• Keep an eating log for a week. I don't like being that honest when it comes to food. I eat a lot - and it's not all good. I'd like to weigh in the 120s and I'm close. Real close. I need to be more mindful of my eating.
• Recovery - take it seriously! This hurts!

Moves to work on (and consistently work on them a couple times a week):

Ring dips

Handstand push-ups

24" box jumps

GHD sit-ups

Yep, the Rocky theme is playing in my head right now. Too bad it hurts to move.

Preparing to Kick Ass

Usually, we find out about our workouts the night before we do them. I've known about tomorrow's for more than a week, and I'm really excited about it.


The Games WOD for this week is an evil version of Fran, an AMRAP of 7 minutes with...

65 pound Thruster, 3 reps

3 Chest to bar Pull-ups

65 pound Thruster, 6 reps

6 Chest to bar Pull-ups

65 pound Thruster, 9 reps

9 Chest to bar Pull-ups

65 pound Thruster, 12 reps

12 Chest to bar Pull-ups

65 pound Thruster, 15 reps

15 Chest to bar Pull-ups

65 pound Thruster, 18 reps

18 Chest to bar Pull-ups

65 pound Thruster, 21 reps

21 Chest to bar Pull-ups…

This will go one of two ways for me. Either I'll do my 3 thrusters and spend 6:30 trying to get a chest-to-bar pull-up. Or I will get way more rounds than I expected. Last week, I set my expectations pretty low and after the fact, wish I had set them higher because I could have done better. This week, I'm setting my goal to get through the round of 9. That would be a pretty big accomplishment for me.

If it was just regular pull-ups, then the thrusters would be the problem. But these aren't regular pull-ups. You actually have to hit the bar with your chest. As I found out yesterday, I can get the height, but I can't seem to get close enough to the bar. It's that stupid fear of hitting my head on something, or bruising, or maybe I just can't figure out the logistics. I don't know. But I will give this one an all out effort tomorrow. I will be so excited when 4:30 rolls around. I don't know why - thrusters + pull-ups = pain. But I want to do it.

That bar won't know what hit it! 

The Mental Games

Every Tuesday, Crossfit releases a new WOD for the Crossfit Games. This Tuesday was week 3, and when I saw the WOD my heart sunk a little. So far I've been able to RX the game WODs and put up pretty average scores. This week, they went heavy. For ladies, this meant cleaning 110 pounds, squatting, then getting it overhead (and getting as many reps as you can in 5 minutes, but this didn't really matter in my case). I can squat that weight, but my max clean to that point was 100 pounds, and I think I've gotten 95 overhead before. My goal was to get one round, which would be a PR.

When I went in on Thursday, we practiced the movements for a while. Then we started adding weight. I practiced with 35, 65, 85, 105 pounds. By the time we got to 105, I was pretty discouraged. This was so much weight. And that was the point. They're looking for strong people. My partner went first and she did awesome. She was able to squat clean it and she eventually got it overhead, then squat cleaned it again. By the time my turn came around, my head was out of it completely. I tried and tried for 5 minutes to lift that weight, and I just couldn't get myself under it. I had told myself I couldn't do it, and guess what, I couldn't. I wasn't even that frustrated because I knew that was really heavy for me. I was pretty ambivalent about trying again today.

But I did. I came in, stretched, kept to myself. I started adding weight to a bar. I was able to clean 105 warming up, which was a new PR for me. My goal was to get something on the board. I didn't want to show up and not get it again. When the clock started, I picked it up a few times and came real close. Then another woman ran over, said she had the same trouble the other day, and told me to explode coming up. So I did this. We talk about our hips a lot in Crossfit, so instead of just standing and trying to lift a lot of weight, I exploded. And it worked! I cleaned 110 pounds, then squatted. I got my one rep! And so many people cheered when I got it! I tried going overhead, but it was not in the cards. But now I have something on the board. I'm still in it!

My coach said he'd never seen somebody so determined. I disagree with that. I see it all the time, almost every day.

I've dealt with some pretty debilitating depression my whole life. Currently, it comes and goes. I actually went off my medication at the beginning of the year. I know it's a chemical imbalance, but sometimes I just want to see myself for who I am and try to deal with it. A few weeks ago, it got pretty bad. Most people love free time - I don't. I'm not good on my own and left with so many choices, I can become paralyzed. I feel guilty for not writing. I feel guilty for not doing a lot of things I know I should be doing. Anyway, some people had noticed that I was hanging around Crossfit a lot, after my class was over. But where else am I going to see awesome people do amazing things every day? Seriously. 

Crossfit doesn't cure depression. But I'd hate to think of where I'd be without it. 

Rollin'

Sofia loves it when I roll.

Most normal people stretch after a hard workout and that works for them. That's not enough for a serious Crossfit athlete. After a seriously hardcore workout, like Cindy, we need to get out the foam roller and put ourselves through some minor torture. 


We did Cindy two days ago. This was a major milestone for me because I RXed it for the first time. Awesome, right? Last night, it started to hurt. My quads hurt from the 180 squats. My lats hurt from the 63 (RX!) pull-ups I did. And my pecs started to feel the 120 push-ups. Also, for some unknown reason, my calves felt all knotted up. I got out the foam roller for a few minutes and rolled out my calves.


I should step back. Most people love massages, right? I don't. I feel the need for them every once in a while, but they're generally not all that enjoyable for me. They hurt! I know - my body sucks and can't take it. I don't know when I became so sensitive to everything, but massages are not my friend. When massages hurt, the foam roller is bad, bad news.


It seems like each Crossfit box pitches the same stuff (fish oil, paleo, ab mats). I don't know if they're just not creative or if they get some killer deals or what. But foam rollers are those items that you don't see many places but you will see at Crossfit. They're just as important as the workout and just as painful. I know that the knot in my calf will go away, but it's going to take some cringing.


Anyway, I'm in more pain than usual today and I'll still show up at the box. That's how I roll.

The Next Round of Goals

When I started Crossfit, I wrote down a few goals that I've managed to reach this year. One was running a 10K - I actually ran a Half-Marathon. I'm going to run another this year (http://www.eugenemarathon.com/) so I can get a better time. Do I like running? No. Do I see it as a challenge? Definitely! My half-marathon was physically the most difficult thing I've ever done, but I know I can do better.


I also got my first RX pull-up this year. I tried doing my first WOD with RX pull-ups - Baseline - but that didn't go so well. But that's the thing with Crossfit; it will come up again and I'll do better. There's always another opportunity for improvement.


So here are my new sets of goals. They shouldn't coincide with new year's resolutions - it's just taken me a while to get these down. I'll totally achieve these by June.

Finish Half-Marathon in under 2:20

RX Fran

Do a handstand push-up

Go Paleo for a full month - no cheating

RX Cindy

RX Fight Gone Bad

I may not get the best times, but whatever I get is better than before. I can't stress enough how I was never an athlete before any of this and I still have a hard time calling myself that. But if I can reach these goals, I'll feel a little better about it.

6 months

Yesterday I realized that my 6 month Crossfit anniversary just passed. I started thinking about all the things I got rid of when I started Crossfit.

The first thing I got rid of was cereal. I like cereal. I used to eat a bowl of Life every morning. But it really didn't do anything for me and I realized there were better choices for breakfast. So I got rid of my cereal.

The next thing I got rid of were my thighs, shortly followed by my waist. I never thought I would lose either of these things, but they completely disappeared. All that fat that used to sit there on my thighs - gone. I don't plan on seeing it again anytime soon.

Because of that, I got rid of some pants. I had to keep a few, so you'll often see me wearing pants that are too big, but belted. I'm not sure I'm where I want to be yet, but I can't afford to keep buying new pants.

I also got rid of about 10 pounds. That doesn't seem like much, but the shape of my body completely changed. I don't have a scale so I would get weighed whenever I went to the doctor's office. Since I haven't seen the doctor lately, I went to Bed, Bath, & Beyond this weekend and stepped on a few of their scales. I seem to have lost 13 pounds since I started. I'd like to lose 5 more to get to the weight I think my body should be. I'm almost there, and I know I will get there.

Something that I got rid of that I may have gotten rid of without Crossfit is processed foods. The paleo diet is based on fresh food and after a while it tasted awful to eat anything out of a can or a box. This is something I wish more people would follow suit with.

Eventually, I got rid of my excuses. All I need to do is show up and do the work to the best of my ability. I don't have to do great all the time. I think my greatest strength in Crossfit is my consistency. Even when I get really busy and I have so much to do, I show up. I know it will help my sanity if I can just work really really hard for an hour.

I've also taken quite a few minutes off my 5K time. I'm just at 30 minutes right now and I'm about to be under 30 minutes. I will be next time.

So my goals for the next six months are to get that 5K time under 30, do a real pull-up, and keep doing what I'm doing. And learn how to do a handstand. I'll get there.

Rest Days

The biggest accomplishment of the week came on Thanksgiving morning. Although I was unsure about running a 5K because of my shins, it was the workout so I did it. And for the first time ever, I ran the whole thing. I did not make my goal of running it in under 30 minutes, but I will soon. I know this. My shins hurt for the first mile but after that, I focused on running. I wouldn't let myself walk. I didn't have to. After eating things I'm not used to eating on Thanksgiving, I decided to go Paleo again - or as Paleo as possible. I don't eat a lot of dairy, but I think I should eat some. If I can stick to a good eating plan for 3 weeks, I'll be happy. I've been eating too much sugar lately. I know this and I'm not doing anything about it. I may have a glass of wine or two - it is the holiday season and I can do this without feeling guilty. But I will cut out wheat and processed foods. I've done it before and I can certainly do it again. The workouts on Monday and Tuesday were pretty difficult. Monday's involved a lot of different exercises - each for one minute. I tried to be strategic and failed. I did all right in retrospect, but I felt like I could have done better. I also had some health matters on my mind, so that held me back a little. (I should have a better idea of these issues this week). Tuesday's workout included snatches and push-ups. The first time I had a workout with snatches, it was a disaster. This time, I could handle it. Earleir that day, we had chair massages at work. It felt good at the time, but after that workout I was so sore. I decided to not do the Filthy Fifty on Wednesday - mostly because I was sore, partly because I wanted to work out Thursday morning. Saturday was the Civil War workout. I'm feeling that in my lower back - too many deadlifts too quickly. My upper back is also bothering me, but that could be for multiple reasons (damn, expensive sports bras). I need to start being more active in my regular life. I'm not an athlete and I never will be, but I still need to be active. I wanted to hike up either Mt. Pisgah or Spencer's Butte today, but I let myself have the excuse that it's cloudy. That's ridiculous. It's always cloudy here. It's Oregon. At least it's not raining! It's my 4th day off in a row and I've gotten accustomed to being lazy. Lazy's not always the best option. While I have my goals for fitness, I need to work on goals in other areas of my life. My background is in writing - that's where I feel most comfortable and most frustrated. I haven't done anything creative in a few years. Sitting down and writing a story that you know you should write is sometimes much, much more difficult than making it through a tough crossfit workout. I need to change this. If I can make it through 4 hours of crossfit a week, I can sit down and write for a few hours a week. That's my biggest goal.