I Can't Cook

I'm also no good at fending for myself. When left on my own, I think about what I'm going to eat and how it's going to appear on my plate. I often think about it so long that it's too late to make real food and I end up toasting some gluten-free waffles and calling it good. This is probably not the right approach to good nutrition.

I never thought I couldn't cook. For years I could get by making mac and cheese or eating a bowl of cereal. Spaghetti? Sure, I can do that! I can even bake a decent cookie. But putting together a healthy dinner? Not so much.

Maybe my inability, or my lack of motivation, to cook stems from not eating meat for many, many years. I didn't have to really worry about not cooking something so it's safe to eat. For about 10 years I didn't eat any meat, then over the course of a few years, I started eating fish, then turkey, then chicken. I don't really trust myself to cook fish. Chicken - I think I can get away with that. Last fall I started eating beef and pork because I really didn't know why I wasn't eating it anymore. But cooking it? I don't feel I'm qualified.

I'm on my own for a couple weeks and I attempted to cook a steak the other day. I always complain about the house getting so smoky when Josh cooks; now I understand why. I let it cook, just like the recipe said. I didn't move it. I thought the burner might be too hot, but I still didn't disturb it. So when I finally did, after three minutes, it was too late. It's probably a good thing our smoke detector doesn't pick up too much. But I tried!

What does this have to do with Crossfit? My eating has been horrible lately. I've totally lost control. Sugar has taken over my life. Take out is awesome. I know what I'm supposed to do; I'm just not doing it. I know that in order to really stick to the paleo diet, you should cook your own food. That's a little intimidating to me. I'm almost to the point where I want to commit to this again. Almost. Tonight at the store, I picked up a rottiserrie chicken, carrots, celery, lettuce ... and maybe just a little bit of ice cream. I'm getting there ... I just need some time.

And I know ... my workouts have been bad lately. I feel weak. Tomorrow I have to do the worst workout ever created - Karen. 150 wall balls. I can't promise a better time, but I'll be there. And I'm going to bring a salad for lunch. And I'm going to do my best to not get take out and to not burn anymore steaks.