I Can Carry a 60 Pound Sandbag on My Back

But I can't do a handstand. Not yet. I never did gymnastics as a kid. Well, I did in gym class, but I wasn't very good at it. I just don't know how to move my body that way. Now, it's really bothering me. I know I just need to do it once and then I'll get it, but for now I'm frustrated. It's a definite goal to work towards. It seems so simple. I just need to get over this mental block.

My stomach is upset. I've been snacking today - good snacks, but still snacks. I just finished the last couple bites of a dark chocolate bar that my sister got me for Christmas. So that's gone. Yesterday at the store I loaded up on nuts, salad, some meat, some veggies ... there had to be other things. It was a really expensive shopping trip. But they were all good foods- organic foods- and I'm ready to get back into this. I wouldn't mind losing about 10 more pounds and I know I can do it. I just need to commit to it. And I need to do the work that goes along with it, which means preparing my food.

This upcoming week gets me back into a routine. I know I'll do Crossfit at least 4 times - 5 if I can manage. This morning was my first time back in a week and a half and I felt it. In teams, we did mountain climbers, squats, and burpees, with an 800m run with sandbag (see above) thrown in the middle. The last few burpees were making my stomach feel a bit queasy, but I made it through. I always do. No pukies yet!

Why now?

I'm not an athlete. I never have been. That's OK. The first time I ever joined a gym was a couple years ago in Iowa. It was close to work and the people there were nice. I found a class called Cardio Interval on Monday evenings, where we did three minutes of one thing and three minutes of another for about an hour. What I liked more than anything was that I couldn't let my mind wander in class - I had to focus on what I was doing. Sometimes I need to be forced to be focused. We joined a gym when we moved to Eugene, but it's more mindless exercise. I felt like I was maintaining (barely), but that was it. Josh found out about Crossfit through his friends in Iowa. After trying a session there, he checked out the Crossfit in Eugene. He convinced me to come with him and try it for a month. July is a slow month for me, and I definitely needed something new in my life, so my first crossfit workout was July 13. The first workout made for a great story for my friends and co-workers. We held sandbags over our heads, which was awful, and in the actual workout we flipped tires. This I could get into. I didn't feel very strong that day, but I felt like I could be. I felt like I could commit. So I did. I ended up going 4 times that week - 2 regular workouts and 2 fundamentals classes. I felt comfortable in the fundamentals and scared in the regular. But that's OK, because I'm rarely scared in my real life. I can do this. At the end of the week, I learned about paleo. If I could stick with it for a month and clean out my system, I'd be in a better place to continue this process. A month time frame is perfect, since our trip to Europe was in exactly one month. If I just commit, it can work. I just need to commit. I've never been overweight, but I haven't been at the weight I think I should be in over 10 years. There was a time in 2001 where I was 125 pounds, but I didn't get there the way I should have, and that was a really difficult time in my life. Like we say at work, I can do better. I can get to where I need to be. The picture on the left was taken in May when my friend and I took off down the highway in search of waterfalls. We found snow. I'm not overweight; I'm just not where I should be. My jeans don't feel right. I don't like how I look in pictures. But if I just commit, I can do it.