Redemption

For me, the CrossFit Games Open is now done. I am very happy about that. While I feel like I was somewhat of a catalyst for some people to sign up, I feel like I wasn't a very good competitor this year. I felt like I didn't really give it my all on any of them (except maybe my second attempt at 12.2). I wasn't really excited about any of them....until 12.5.


I practiced handstand push-ups all week. I still haven't gotten one, but I am SO CLOSE!!! I was sure they would program a Diane ladder (deadlifts, hspu). Most people thought this. Instead, they brought out the last one from last year: the Fran ladder.


Last year, I got three thrusters and spent 6:30 trying to get a chest to bar pull-up...twice. And although I've been able to get chest-to-bars in practice now and then, I haven't really done them consistently, so I wasn't sure if I was able to get them during the WOD.

I got 23.

And I would have been able to do more if I hadn't been SO HAPPY!!!! I don't know if I've ever smiled so much in a workout. What a relief! I've actually improved! It's been so long since I've seen actual improvement...maybe this is just what I need to kick myself back into some sort of mental shape.


And part of me thought, for a minute, 'Damn. I could have gotten more reps if I would have known I would have done that well. And that was my one shot.' But then, my true self came through. It's just exercise and I improved! How often do we just enjoy what we're doing in CrossFit (as much as you can enjoy thrusters and pull-ups)? I was smiling for hours after that. Not because I looked ridiculous, like my snatches in 12.2, but because I was awesome!


So the moral of the story is don't forget to have fun. Otherwise, what's the point?


So I hope that the Open was worth it for everyone who participated. I look forward to seeing who will be going to Regionals this year. And for those of you who pushed yourself farther than you intended, nice work. You understood the point.

“Promise me you'll always remember: 

You're braver than you believe, 

and stronger than you seem, 

and smarter than you think. ”

Christopher Robin to Pooh

A.A. Milne

 

And this, right here, is truly what the Open is about: Pride.

**And I am purposely leaving out any mention of the wall balls in 12.4. I completely lost my motivation and those weren't fun. Not at all. They never will be.** 

A Love Letter to GWOD

Since last fall, I've spent an hour every Wednesday and Friday evening with some of the best people I know. If you would have asked me a few years ago if I would have been doing anything like this, I would have rolled my eyes and had another drink. But now it seems my favorite part of the week is Gymnastics WOD.

GWOD

Gymnasty

Or whatever. It's just fun. It is coached by my most favorite coach (I said it) and attended by some of my most favorite people (you know who you are). The intent of GWOD is to work on skills and form. Yes, we do plenty of this (it's good form that matters, not the time, right?). We also do workouts that I never really believe I'll finish (one-armed kettlebell overhead squats - really?). But above all else, and what I appreciate most about it, is that it is FUN.

We do handstands. We do wall climbs. We play on the rings. We do pull-ups. We do A LOT of hollow rocks. We jump and run and climb. We try different things. We realize that we may have many strengths ... but sometimes when we come across something that is not a strength, we can work on it and sometimes ...sometimes we have to laugh. 


If you've ever heard me laugh - really laugh - you know that it is loud and it is natural and it is true. I cannot fake that laugh. My sisters have that laugh. My grandma had that laugh. My niece has that laugh. My friends in GWOD have heard it on numerous occasions.

I remember this mainsite WOD from a few months ago. The main site got so many nasty comments about posting this WOD, which was comprised of a few gymnastics movements. The strong guys hate that stuff. So we did it. 20 minute AMRAP that included wall climbs. Oh, those wall climbs. Sometimes the time just flies. Sometimes, it does not. I looked at the clock at one pointed and shouted, "Only 15 more minutes" and my coach did the honorable thing and turned the clock around so I couldn't see it. "Only a few more minutes," he shouted after that. Oh those wall climbs can be so discouraging.

Something about the class brings out the awesomeness in people. I've seen athletes get their first hanstand push-up (unfortunately not me yet). I've seen a husband help his pregnant wife with pistols (one of the sweetest things I've seen in a long time). And I've surprised myself. I will remember one night in particular for a long time - the rope climbs.


I've done rope climbs before once or twice but never perfected the technique. We worked on it, then started a WOD. It had been a long week. I hardly had anything in me. By the second round, I walked over to the rope and looked at it for a long time. My coach came over and I said I had nothing left. He said I couldn't use my arms - I had to use my legs. I finally made it up there. And for the next round, the clock ran out and I still had a rope climb to do. He looks at me and (nonverbally) said, "Are you going to finish that?" And it took all that I had in me, but I did.


I'll remember that for a long time.


So thanks GWOD, for being my favorite part of the week. I'm sure it's made me a better Crossfitter and a better person, but sometimes, most of the time, it's just fun. Where else can I tell the coach, "I'm injured and can't really do anything right now," and he says, "Show up anyway."And besides, where else could a girl like me hang out with 22 year old guys (who accept me completely for who I am) and listen to dubstep? 

Moving from Goals to Achievements

I've used this blog to document my goals and achievements in the past. And I've done a lot in the past couple years (considering where I started, especially). I can RX

• Cindy
• Helen
• Fight Gone Bad
• Annie (duh)
• Fran (barely)

My 5K time has drastically improved and I can run a 10K like it's nothing. I need to remind myself that I have done a lot and I have come far, because honestly, it often feels like I'm not making progress.

So I've listed goals on this blog and in the box, thinking that it will help me reach those goals. I want:

• Handstand push-ups
• A 125 lb. clean
• 24 inch box jumps
• More pull-ups in a row

But what have I done to reach those goals? Not a lot. Do I practice 24" box jumps? I thought about it today, then I didn't. A couple weeks ago, I finally set a PR of 115 for my clean, then mentally checked out when I added 2 more pounds. Come on! That's just dumb! 

So here's the plan. I want to work on my pull-ups and box jumps. These are two moves I can practice before or after a WOD. I just need to push myself (and if someone wants to yell at me while I'm doing it, that will help). I will start with these two moves, then get over my HSPU fear. I have the strength. I just don't have the form.

I've started coaching. So far, it's been fine. No big disasters. Small, manageable classes (mostly people I know and a couple new faces). We've done moves I know well. But I want to become a really good coach. So I'm going to watch videos. I'm going to pay more attention to the other coaches. I'm going to do better. Our athletes are awesome and they deserve it.

Better coaching. Better crossfitting. And lose 10 pounds (more running + veggies). These are my goals. I'm going to get them this time.

Certified

Soooooo.....after a lovely (cold) weekend in Portland and a loooong week of waiting for test results, I can now say that I am a CrossFit Level 1 Trainer. Yay! This is something I've wanted to do for a long time. I love writing and I teach writing, so it made sense to me to teach CrossFit since, well, I love CrossFit. So here is a recap of the past week or so.


The Cert
I sat down for the Cert and looked through my binder and notes. Some of us noticed a short guy in a red sweatshirt and a knit cap walking around up front. Then the whispering started. Was that ... could it be...Heck yeah! Chris Spealler was our instructor! Awesome! He's like, as CrossFit as you can get! 

Our first day was filled with lots of basic CrossFit info and reviewing the 9 basic movements of CrossFit. We ended the day with Fran. Spealler joked at the beginning that we were going to do it right then (like 9am day one) and actually, by the end of that day, I wish we had done it earlier. I was pretty tired and hungry but still determined to RX it. And much to my dismay, I was the last person in my heat to finish and EVERYONE watched me do my pull-ups. They even no-repped me a few times! I got a 6 second PR and finished in 9:01. Fran is not my friend.  And, honestly, it kinda looks like Fran punched me in the face a little.

He's a little stronger than me, but I'm catching up!

Day 2 featured more skills practice, a lecture on nutrition (interesting after being immersed in the Whole 30), and a fun workout involving running, double unders, and kb swings. After lots of fun stuff, we took the test. Full disclosure: I didn't really study for the test. I should have. But I didn't. And yes, I passed. But I've also been doing CrossFit for over 2 years. Still, it was stressful. All of the trainers at the Cert were awesome. I came back energized and all full of CrossFit love. I come in on Monday for some Mobility work and to cheer on my friends through Nancy. And then...


I got sick.


I never get sick. Stupid cold. I tried working out on Tuesday - double unders and power cleans. Awesome! Not so much! I was exhausted through the whole thing and couldn't get my hips to work. Ugh. I had to take 2 rest days in a row this week! Today I'm feeling a little better and I am going to go in. I know I have other hobbies, but I miss my friends. One of the factors that could have caused this setback:


My Poor Eating Habits
Fine. I did the Whole 30. Then I eased back into my life. Then I just went off the deep end. Dessert every night! And a glass of wine! Moderation? What does that mean?


To give you an example, after day one of the Cert, I went back to my hotel and ate at the restaurant. I don't just get one bad thing. I get:

• A burger (with bacon and a fried egg - but no cheese!)
• A glass of wine
• AND A piece of pie WITH ice cream

Why? Why do I do this? Why can't I get one bad thing? Why do I have to do it all? Yes, I was so hungry after that long day, but I didn't need to do this. And I've started to get take-out more and more, which I know I don't need to do (given, my take out is better than fast food, but still).


So I've decided to do a Whole 10. I need smaller goals and some sense of direction. I need to remind myself that I can control myself. Today is day 2. I can totally make it, because honestly, I need to


Do Better
I haven't made any real progress since Spring. Yes, I've set PRs on some benchmarks lately, but they aren't big PRs (a few seconds here and there). I know I can lift more and run faster. I need to have a period of gains and in order to do that, I need to take this stuff seriously. So I need to dial in my eating, focus on form, and take rest days. Lead by example. That's my goal.

Do Better

It doesn’t get any easier.

You wouldn’t want it to either.

-Greg Glassman

Image stolen from the internets :)

I also wish I looked like this in my short shorts. I do not.

This weekend, I'm going to get my CrossFit Level One Certification in Portland. I've wanted to do this for a long time. When I saw it posted a couple months ago, I figured I'd never really be able to afford it anyway, so I might as well do it now. There's always an excuse not to, so I signed up. I like teaching. I teach writing and sometimes it's amazing. I love CrossFit, so I figure why not teach that, too? I'm also looking forward to spending a weekend immersed in it. I could use a refresher at this point.

I've not been the best CrossFitter lately. I show up; my attendance is spectacular! I do the workouts. But that's all. I don't think a 20 second PR on Helen is anything to get too excited about, especially when my pull-ups are horrible. Just horrible! I did PR on Fight Gone Bad last week, but I also had about 5 people yelling at me the whole time. I also set a PR on Grace, but I still haven't tried to RX it. 

It doesn't get easier. I really want to get stronger. I want to get faster. I also still want to have my wine and ice cream. So what has to give? I haven't had a period of gains in a long time - really since the spring. The cert is coming at a good time. I know how to reign in my eating. I've done that and I know I can do it if I want to. Even last night I could have picked up some take out after a late WOD, but I didn't. I made my own food. So what do I need to do to improve?

• Work on Mobility. Ugh! My shoulders are so tight lately. So tight. If they felt like real shoulders again, I might be able to kip better, or get under the bar better, or be more active overhead. We depend on our shoulders for so much!
• Hold on to the bar! My hands keep ripping when I do too many pull-ups. My grip is seriously limiting my workouts. I need to sand my hands and toughen up. And I need to practice my pull-ups. I can only seem to do 5 in a row at this point, and that really isn't going to get me anywhere.
• Clean heavier! I like to think I'm good at cleans, but I've been stuck on the same weight since April. I can finally lift 110, but once I knock it up to 115, my mind is out of it. I should be able to do 125. I can do do 125. It's all mental at this point. 

So that's enough to work on. Basically, I need to snap out of it. I'm stuck and I need to do better. That is all.

Be Fierce

This is my new mantra.


I could have used it a few hours ago, when I tried to RX Angie. My hand tore and I couldn't finish my pull-ups. Bummer. 75 pull-ups, 100 push-ups, 100 sit ups, and 100 squats in 22:27. Disappointed? Yes. But I remember the pain from the last time I tore my hands big time. It's not worth it. I need to learn how to take care of my hands.


In other news, I did finally beat my Annie time at 6:28. All double unders were unbroken except the round of 30. Lots of sit ups in 2 days.


All undone by ice cream.

Not Resting

I had intentions of taking a rest day tomorrow. Coach posted last night that we were going to do death by pull-ups today but don't rip your hands because we're doing a good pull-up WOD later this week. Fine. I'm thinking Fran on Friday. So after my death by pull-ups (10 rounds +8 pull-ups = 63 pull-ups (I think)), I ask coach if we're doing a good pull-up WOD on Friday. Nope. Tomorrow. Helen.


Oh Helen.


I posted my thoughts on Helen about a year ago. I figure these same thoughts will be going through my head tomorrow. Helen doesn't sound bad, but it is. 

3 rounds for time:

Run 400 meters

21 kb Swings

12 pull-ups

I rock the kb swings. I don't rock everything else.


But I had it in my head that I would take a rest day tomorrow. I was even thinking about getting my hair cut (if I take some of this weight out of my hair, will it help me with pull-ups?) I don't really like rest days, but I do recognize that they help once in a while (or a couple times a week). I can't take a rest day when we have a lady WOD that I can finally RX. That's what we train for - RXing stuff!  (and functional movements?)


I saw a Crossfit friend say something on facebook recently - one of his friends commented on how much he works out, and he said that he doesn't see it that way. It's just like having fun and hanging out with friends. That's how I see it, too. If you're reading this and I see you at the box, I like working out with you. I may not always look like I'm having fun, but I am. I also understand that there is life outside of Crossfit (baseball!), but until I find something else to do with my time, you're totally stuck with me.


Edited to add that I got 11:43 for my first RX Helen. It took a lot out of me. All kb swings unbroken. Still not sure when I'll take a rest day.

Don't Call It a Comeback

I did 100 pull-ups today. I was supposed to do more. Oops.

That happened around rep 86. Those last 14 pull-ups really, really hurt. But I had to do them. I mean, you don't get to rep 86 and quit because your hands hurt. (And thanks Zac for cleaning the blood off the bar. I know that was gross and I was trying to be tough but that would have really, really hurt.) I was supposed to do 100 kb swings, 100 double unders, and 100 overhead squats after that (who thinks of these workouts?). Not so much. I was done for the day. Total DNF. And now my hands kind of feel like claws, but I'm trying to keep them stretched out. Ugh. Gross.

High Five?

Then I realized that I'd have to take a rest day tomorrow because there isn't much I can do with my hands. I hate rest days! But seriously, what can I do without grabbing anything? 

Running

Sit-ups

Squats

Box Jumps

Lunges

Shoot. I guess I'll have to wait and see the workout.


Today was my second day back after a week off. OK, I didn't take the whole week off. I took some friends to Crossfit Defined in Chicago, which was pretty rad. I'd join right away if I didn't live so far away :) He put us through a lot of warm-up, with double unders, bear crawls, and partner pulls, and skill work in Turkish Get-Ups. One of my friends almost had a pukie after all that warm-up! Then we did tabata rows, box jumps, ring rows, wall balls, ab mat sit ups, and jumping lunges. I got a little excited during my box jumps and did this:

Which actually doesn't look that bad. (But it will stay there forever. Stupid junky blood.) But I did fall over the box and managed to get back up and get another jump in. That was my workout for the week.


I drank a lot this past week, which I will not do again for quite a while. It was just one of those weekends. But still, when I drink, I feel I have something to prove. At a party, I took some people across the street and showed them some pull-ups on a playground. I challenged a 300 pound man to some arm wrestling. I've made better choices. I generally feel like I have something to prove when it comes to all this. My friend, who I visited and has known me for 20+ years, says she hasn't seen me like this before. I think it's a good thing.


I also ate a lot of cupcakes this weekend. And pizza. And sandwiches. And lemon cake. And cheesecake.


I could continue.


And I'm over it...I think. It felt terrible and my body doesn't like that anymore. But still, as I stood in line at Rite Aid tonight, I was tempted to get a Twix bar. So tempted. But I didn't. Not tonight. But it sounds so good...


Anyway, this is me in Lake Michigan, my favorite body of water. My next goal - how to get taller. Seriously, how do I do that?

52 degrees - Us Swedes can handle anything.

Habits

I'm able to laugh at myself, which is a good thing, especially when I see pictures of myself looking ridiculous. After a certain point in Crossfit (probably after your second WOD), you realize that you're not going to look good doing anything there (some people do, but not many) and you just get over it. I brought my 13 year old niece to a WOD last spring and she was mortified. Yes, we look silly. We're used to it.

I know - Flying Monkey. Yes, my niece liked this picture.

So on Saturday, the lovely April showed up with her camera and took some pictures of us doing thrusters and pull-ups! Great! Actually, it was pretty awesome, and so is she, but I noticed something that is apparent in the above picture too...

Didn't get this chest-to-bar. Shocking.

Didn't get this one either.

But I can at least lift the weight. Wait - what am I doing with my mouth?

I even do it while I'm judging!

My sisters, my mom, and I all do the same thing with our mouths. And I've made fun of my sister Jessie before but as is apparent here, I do the exact same thing. When we're thinking hard, it shows. I was just thinking too hard about those pull-ups. And judging. And everything. But that's OK.

It's a good thing I can laugh about those pull-ups. Oh, it's a good thing.

Preparing to Kick Ass

Usually, we find out about our workouts the night before we do them. I've known about tomorrow's for more than a week, and I'm really excited about it.


The Games WOD for this week is an evil version of Fran, an AMRAP of 7 minutes with...

65 pound Thruster, 3 reps

3 Chest to bar Pull-ups

65 pound Thruster, 6 reps

6 Chest to bar Pull-ups

65 pound Thruster, 9 reps

9 Chest to bar Pull-ups

65 pound Thruster, 12 reps

12 Chest to bar Pull-ups

65 pound Thruster, 15 reps

15 Chest to bar Pull-ups

65 pound Thruster, 18 reps

18 Chest to bar Pull-ups

65 pound Thruster, 21 reps

21 Chest to bar Pull-ups…

This will go one of two ways for me. Either I'll do my 3 thrusters and spend 6:30 trying to get a chest-to-bar pull-up. Or I will get way more rounds than I expected. Last week, I set my expectations pretty low and after the fact, wish I had set them higher because I could have done better. This week, I'm setting my goal to get through the round of 9. That would be a pretty big accomplishment for me.

If it was just regular pull-ups, then the thrusters would be the problem. But these aren't regular pull-ups. You actually have to hit the bar with your chest. As I found out yesterday, I can get the height, but I can't seem to get close enough to the bar. It's that stupid fear of hitting my head on something, or bruising, or maybe I just can't figure out the logistics. I don't know. But I will give this one an all out effort tomorrow. I will be so excited when 4:30 rolls around. I don't know why - thrusters + pull-ups = pain. But I want to do it.

That bar won't know what hit it! 

2

Last month we started a new Spring Leaning Challenge at the box. I don't win these challenges, but I play along and try my best. This year the challenge was much shorter, and in a lot of ways, much more difficult. 

So on February 15 we did a workout called Angie, which I had done a few times before. It consists of:

100 pull-ups

100 push-ups

100 sit-ups

100 squats

And this has  to be done consecutively, so you do 100 pull-ups, then you do 100 push-ups... It's brutal. The push-ups are especially difficult after the pull-ups. Last month when I did it, I finished in 24:26 using a red band for pull-ups and 50 real/50 knee push-ups. It wasn't awesome, but that workout rarely is.


Today I did the workout again, and along with losing 2 pounds, I took 2 minutes off my time. Not bad for a month.


But the workout was completely different today. When I did it in February, I worked out with a bunch of my Crossfit buddies. It was a decent-sized class that day and we cheered each other on. Today, I couldn't make it into the night classes (work seems to get in the way of Crossfit sometimes), but I still wanted to do the workout. I could have come in at 7:30 am, but didn't we just have a time change and isn't that awfully early to be working out? I could have come to the 8:30am class, but that class is kind of intimidating and really, really good. So what do I do? I arrange to come in and do it alone. Just me and the clock and the Lady Gaga Pandora station. I didn't even have a coach to cheer me on (he was doing an intro). I knew what time I needed to beat, and I did it.


Many of us are creatures of habit. We like schedules and consistency. I don't think I'm that way (especially for work. 9-5=torture). But I do tend to show up for Crossfit at the same time on generally the same days. I could go to other classes, but I never do. Why? I like my workout buddies. I like seeing a lot of the same people every time. Some I've become close to; some I don't know anything about besides how awesome they are at pull-ups. But I like seeing them. I could try to change it up and go to earlier or later classes, but for now, I'm good. And I'm still improving. That's good enough for now.

Stronger

On Friday, we did a workout that we had done in September, a hero WOD called Jack.

Complete as many rounds as possible in 20 minutes of:

115 pound Push press, 10 reps

10 KB Swings, 1.5 pood

10 Box jumps, 24 inch box

Once I looked it up again, I remembered it. It doesn't look like much, but it is. When we did it in September, I did 55# Push Press, 1 pood KB, and 20" box. I had to switch to 45# after 4 rounds because 55# was just too heavy. I got 8 rounds total.

When I came in on Friday, my goal was to do the same weight, stay at 55#, and get more rounds. I commented to a friend that I didn't feel that strong and that I wasn't sure if I could stay at 55. Well, I did. And I did 9 rounds. I am stronger.

It's hard to see improvements day-to-day, especially when you go as much as I do. But it really does happen. Crossfit gets harder because you make it harder, and by doing that, you get stronger. It's nice how that happens.

And I did 6 pull-ups in a row the other day. Real ones. Very real ones.

Random Thoughts

• Pull-ups are hard.
• Finally got new shoes - Nike Frees. Now I'll RX everything!
• I can usually tune out the terrible music played at Crossfit, but when an awful cover band does Depeche Mode, I have to say something, even if it's in the middle of a WOD.
• Are there any Depeche Mode songs that would be good for Crossfit? I tried to figure that out last night. I'm still not convinced, but if there were they would come off either Ultra or Songs of Faith and Devotion. (I'm pretty sure David Gahan wasn't in a good place when they made those albums.)
• TV has been abysmal since LOST ended.
• Sometimes I watch The Biggest Loser. I know, I can watch commercials anytime, but I still tune into this show anyway. I guess now when they get down to the final four they have them run a Biggest Loser marathon. I'm not sure this is sending the right message. These people were like 400 pounds 4 months ago. I just don't think a marathon is a realistic goal for someone who is 400 pounds right now (sitting on their couch) and wants to do this in 6 months. Sure, it's an accomplishment, but a marathon is really, really hard*.
• So are pull-ups.
• I'm pretty sure Crossfit is a front for the Fish Oil industry.

*I'm going to sign up for the Eugene Half Marathon in May. I can get a much better time the second time around, especially with my new kicks!

Murph

Most Crossfit workouts take 10-25 minutes. You work really, really hard for a short amount of time and then you're done. What gets me through most workouts is knowing that it will be over soon. So why is my favorite Crossfit workout the one that can take almost an hour?

Murph is a hero workout named after "Navy Lieutenant Michael Murphy, 29, of Patchogue, N.Y., who was killed in Afghanistan June 28th, 2005. This workout was one of Mike's favorites and he'd named it "Body Armor". From here on it will be referred to as "Murph" in honor of the focused warrior and great American who wanted nothing more in life than to serve this great country and the beautiful people who make it what it is." (Crossfit.com)

Murph:

Run 1 mile

100 pull-ups

200 push-ups

300 squats

Run 1 mile

You can do the pull-ups, push-ups, and squats in any order you want, but you have to do the mile run first and last. To truly RX it, you should wear a 20 pound weight vest.

We did this WOD back in April. It looks pretty impossible when you read it, but you can do it. It's a workout where you have a lot of time to think. You're out there running on your own, then you get back in the box and you have to think about how you can best get all these reps done, and while you do that you think about how much your quads burn and the push-ups hurt, and then you have to go run again. In April, I did the workout with a blue band for pull-ups and knee push-ups. I finished in 50 minutes. That's a long time to be working hard, but I finished. 

I knew this was coming up again this week.I got really excited because it's such a challenge. I was hoping I could do it with real push-ups this time, but I'm just not there yet. 200 is a lot of push-ups to do. I also wanted to use a red band for pull-ups. My pull-ups are getting better and I'm so close to RXing them during a WOD. But not this one. I had a tan band on hand just in case I couldn't handle the red, but I really, really wanted to stick with the red. I was also thinking of trying 10 rounds of 10 pull-ups, 20 push-ups, and 30 squats. This changed at the last minute. 

Wednesday was a very cold night. I was in a 5:30pm class with 6 other women. We were all at different levels. We had to bundle up for the first run, since we weren't quite warm yet. When I got back inside, I decided to do 20 sets of 5-10-15. Although it would take more time to get in and out of the pull-up band, I wasn't too confident with my push-ups. For Murph, you just keep on going. I ran the first mile in 9 minutes and left for my last mile around 34 minutes. That's 25 minutes of pull-ups, push-ups, and squats. That's a lot of time to think about those moves and why you're doing them. But I kept marking my rounds and they kept piling up. After round 13, I decided to try a longer round. That worked that time, but it wasn't going to work the rest of the time. I must work on my push-ups. Also, I didn't stretch out enough beforehand and my quads started burning after a few squats. But I kept on going.

That last run was one of the hardest runs of my life. It had gotten colder and I had been working hard for 35 minutes. My lungs felt like they couldn't handle the work. I was short of breath, but I had to keep going. My body wanted to walk,  but my mind wanted to finish. As I rounded the corner after 800 meters, I looked at the clock and saw that I was still under 40 minutes. I could do this. I could make my goal of 45 minutes. I wanted to walk so badly, my breathing was so strained, but I kept running. It helped to run past the other women who were finishing, knowing that we were all trying to get this thing done and finish. I came in at 44:31. I beat my previous time by 6 minutes using a lighter band. I could hardly breathe at first, but I finished.

Murph is a marathon WOD. You have to battle with yourself to finish. This is what I love about Crossfit. In our regular lives, we make decisions every day and choose our battles. In Crossfit, someone else chooses our battles, but we have to decide how to get them done. It's physical and mental. Finishing is all that matters.

Not Winning

That's something I'm doing these days - not winning. Yesterday and today was the end of our Spring Leaning Challenge. We did the same tests and workouts three months ago. Our tests included:


Max effort pull-ups (I used a red band)
Max effort overhead squats (I did 35#)
Max box jumps in 1 minute (20" box)
Max effort handstand push-ups (yeah, right)
Max effort L-sit (you'd recognize it if you saw it)
800m run


My scores from 3 months ago are on the left - scores from yesterday in bold on the right

Max effort pull-ups - 16/24

Max effort overhead squats -  3/15

 Max box jumps in 1 minute - 26/ 28

Max effort handstand push-ups 0/0

Max effort L-sit - 6:04/6:34

800m run 3:44/3:46

Gee, good thing I've been spending all that time working on my running. In all honesty, when I looked back at my running score, I thought it was faster than usual the first time around and I didn't expect to beat it. But then I saw that most everyone improved in all of the categories. Well, yesterdays tests were only 25% of the challenge. Then there's today.

Today's workout is one of the worst workouts ever. Holding a 15# plate, you have to do:

20-15-10

Thrusters

Overhead lunges

Burpees

200m run

Super sucktastic.I remember doing this back in March. It was just the worst. Lunges are bad enough, especially for short people that have to go the same distance as people with long legs, but when you have to hold weight over your head - come on! The burpees were just cruel. But I thought that this was the only chance I had to win this thing. The first time I did the workout in 17:48. Today I did it in 15:04. I was still drooling and had snot flying out of my nose, like the first time, but I managed to do it 2:44 quicker.

The workouts are where I really show my improvement. I remember when we did Fran early in the year and for some reason, it was just torturous for me. I could not get the last 9 pull-ups done for the life of me. But then when I did it a few months later, with the same band and weight, it was almost easy. I like this aspect of Crossfit - comparing what you did then to what you can do now. We're so much more capable than we think.

And speaking of being awesome, I managed to do a real pull up for the first time at 5:40 Friday night, June 25. Clay witnessed it. I've been trying to do the kipping pull-ups for a while now and on Friday I tried a dead hang and managed to get my chin above the bar. That's a pretty big accomplishment. Next the kipping. Then the workouts RX. Then, the world!

Movement

This week is benchmark week at Eugene Crossfit. That means we get to do really hard workouts all week. Yay! Monday was the hardest one on the list - Angie. 100 pull-ups, followed by 100 push-ups, followed by 100 sit-ups, followed by 100 squats. It's a bitch! I had done Angie twice before. Scaling back means a lot of things with Angie. You can use bands and do push-ups on your knees, and you can do fewer reps. The first time I did Angie, in October, I did 50 pull-ups and push-ups and 70 sit-ups and squats. After I finished, I knew I could have done more of the last two. The next time we did Angie, I did 75 of everything. Even then I knew I could have done 100 of the last two. This time, I did 100 for everything. I used the blue band for pull-ups. They were awful, but not as bad as I thought they would be. I used bands to assist me with push-ups - blue and tan - and then I started doing them on my knees after about 20 because my arms were burning. Push-ups are one of my biggest goats. They hold me back so much. But I finished the workout and felt pretty good about life.


Then Karen, my buddy, was still doing sit-ups and said something about quitting. There's no quitting in Crossfit! So I got down on the mat and finished the last 25 sit ups with her. So did the rest of the women there. It was awesome! Then we took turns doing squats with her. Those squats can burn after a while, so doing 10 at a time was fine with us. Here's me and Karen taking care of business.

Hell yeah. She finished under 30 minutes! That's a tough workout!


What does this have to do with movement? Yeah, I'm having a tough time moving my arms today. Straightening them doesn't feel too good. Lifting anything overhead seems impossible. Still, I managed to do Grace today, which is 30 clean and jerks. I definitely could have done more weight on any other day, but just showing up was an accomplishment for me, so I was happy with just doing it. Later this week we have wall balls and thrusters and pull-ups, oh my! I'm pretty sure doing anything on Saturday is out of the question.


Oh, and my friends and I had an impromptu Lady Gaga dance party the other night. I haven't danced in a while. I used to all the time. I need to incorporate dancing into my workouts. We all do.

Mindfulness

A very wise woman once told me that the key to emotional eating is mindfulness. I've heard about this concept before. Think about what you're eating. Enjoy every bite. Etc, etc. I eat too fast to do that. But I was thinking about mindfulness last night in terms of the WOD's. One of the many reasons I love Crossfit is that you can't really think about anything else while you're doing a WOD. You have to think about what you're doing or else you'll screw up. You'll hurt yourself or somebody else. Then I thought that it would be great if someone could record my thoughts while doing a workout. Say I was going to do Helen after work on a Tuesday. I can imagine this would be my thought process as we were getting ready to do the workout.


OK, I'm nervous. Maybe I should throw up. Or at least pee. I don't have time. OK, I can do this.
3-2-1 Go!
Running. I hate running. My ass feels like it's bouncing. Great. I'm not supposed to swing my arms in front of me. I'll pretend like I'm cross-country skiing. I really feel like walking. I can't walk. I never walk. It's only 400 meters. I've done this a million times. I'm not the slowest one here today. That's good. Wait til the pull-ups. Then I'll be the slowest one. Why can't I run faster? I keep trying to run faster! I really want to walk, but I can't walk. Keep running. It's almost done.
Ok, kettlebells. One pood. I should have tried for one and a half. I'm totally strong. OK, I'll do 10 in a row and see how I'm doing. I hope none of the kettlebells fly out of anyone's hands and hit me. That would be a disaster. OK. I totally rule the kettlebells and should do one and a half pood next time. I can totally do 25 in a row. I'm awesome. My hands are getting sweaty. I hope it doesn't fly out of my hands and hit somebody. That would be even worse. 
OK, pull-ups. Only 12. I can totally do 12 pull-ups in a row. I've done this before. Why is the red band so much harder than the blue? OK, I can do  6 pull-ups in a row. I hate pull-ups so much. I can't finish this workout. Yes I can. I've done it before. 6 more. OK, 3 at a time. I know I can do this. OK. First round done. Now back to running.


This is typically where I zone out until I get to the last round of running.


Why am I so slow? Where is everyone else? How did three people finish and I still have one more round to go? It's those damn pull-ups that slow me down. I can totally make up time on the running, right? This is where I can go faster. .... OK, maybe not. But this is the last time I have to run. No more running today after this. If I can make it around this corner, I'll be good. I've run this a million times.
I'm so glad I didn't use one and a half pood. There's no way I could have done this. I'll do 12 in a row. I know I can do 12 in a row, then a really quick rest. My hands are so sweaty. Damn it! This is where I can make up time. I can totally get all these in a row.
OK. Only 12 pull-ups. Then I'm done. I can do these. I know I can. 4 at a time. OK, 8 more. ... 6 more. DAMN IT! Why do these goddamn pull-ups always do this to me? I have 6 more to go and I'm going to be doing them 2 at a time. I HATE PULL-UPS! Why can't I do real ones yet? I've been doing this for almost a year! I would be done if I had used the blue band. Two more, then a break. I'm so close to being done. Why is Jeremy yelling at me? Why are people cheering me on? STOP IT!!! This is going to take me a while to do these 3 stupid pull-ups! One at a time now. My arms are done. Use your body to pull you up. Damn it! One more! I can do this. I can do this.


Time.


That's my idea of mindfulness during a workout.

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

I feel like I've been complaining a lot lately.This is unnecessary. So instead of posting about how much my pull-ups suck lately, I thought I'd post about good things. 


Harder- When I started Crossfit, I was told it only gets harder. This is true. I still struggle through my workouts, thinking that I can't do what I'm doing. I know I can. All I need to do is finish; it doesn't matter how I compare to everyone else. No matter what day or what time or what weather, I always feel like walking during a 400m run, but I never have. I think that's what keeps me running every time. I've never walked during a 400, so I can't do it now. I think there's a point during every workout when I want to quit. But I don't. It's not getting easier. I'll either move up a resistance band for pull-ups or I'll increase the weight. It will always get harder, but I'm up for the challenge.


Better - I've felt better emotionally. I have other influences in my life that are causing me stress, but otherwise I've been doing all right. I like having something to work towards. I like being challenged. I've told other crossfitters that crossfit is like a vacation from my real world. I'm not quite sure what that says about me, but it works.


Faster - A few years ago, when I moved to Eugene, I decided to be a runner. I could insert a long story here, but I'll just give you the ending: I'm not a runner. I don't like running. I'm determined to do it, and I usually show up when there's a running WOD for Crossfit, but I don't like the physical act. I feel like my body's not built for speed. BUT more than anything else, I can credit Crossfit for greatly increasing my speed. Before I started Crossfit, my last 5K time was in the 36 minute range. My best 5K time, about a month ago, was 29:00. That's a substantial difference. I also feel like my shorter distances are getting a lot faster. We did an 800m run today and I managed to run it in 3:44. I was really happy with that. My 400m runs are getting faster. This feels great. I still need to work on form - we're learning about how the foot should strike the surface and what to do with my arms and all that jazz. I think about it while I'm running. I'm getting there, and I'm getting there fast.


Stronger - After the bridal store lady told me I had a tiny waist last Thursday, I had to flex my arms in the mirror - while in a wedding dress. It's really the perfect backdrop to showcase my strength. It irritates me now to read fitness magazines or blogs and hear women say that they don't want to use heavy weights because they don't want to get bulky. Hey ladies, guess what - you're not going to get bulky! It's not going to happen! You'll burn calories a lot faster, and you'll be a hell of a lot more useful for moving things, but you're not going to get bulky. There are very few, if any, bulky women at Crossfit. There are some damn strong women, and they look amazing. I'm pretty proud of myself and so many people at the gym when we have heavy lifting days. It's one of those things where you go in thinking you can only do so much, but then you realize you can do so much more.


Stuff to work on:

• Pull-ups. They are abysmal right now. So many excuses: my posture, sports bra, form, whatev. They need to get better, and I need to do a real pull-up soon.
• Handstands. I was so close today. So close. I just need to practice and I'll be able to do a handstand. Then I'll do a handstand push up.
• Overhead squats. I don't want to talk about these.
• Speed. This isn't just running. It's box jumps, burpees, wall balls. I need to be able to do these things faster. I can do this.

I'll talk more about the Spring Leaning Challenge next time, but I do have goals. It will be hard, but I can do it. I know I'm getting better. I know I'm getting faster. And I'm definitely getting stronger.

Breakthrough

Life was a little more normal this week and I felt like I had a breakthrough on my pull-ups. I had seen people do the kipping pull-up but it never worked for me. I was always so frustrated with it. But for some reason, something clicked this week and I was able to use my body to get myself up. It all started coming together. There was another round of Elizabeth this week and I did better than my first shot at it. My dips were also a lot stronger. I'm starting to be able to hold myself up better and I feel like I have control over my movements. With the new varying warm-ups, I was able to try double unders again. And I figured it out. I could actually do a few in a row. The problem is my shins are starting to hurt, and the double unders just kill. So I know I can do them - I just shouldn't. I also passed on a potluck this week. I believe the them was comfort foods and I was going to make a really good mac and cheese. But I realized that I shouldn't and I wouldn't be able to eat much there, so I passed on the whole thing altogether. My eating hasn't been great since I've been back. I'm getting into the candy jar at work again. I know how it makes me feel afterward, but I just can't stop. It's all in my head. I need to get past it. I also stopped doing the burpee challenge because I kept forgetting, then I'd have to make it up another day. It was also really messing with my back. I don't feel bad about giving up on this. I just wasn't feeling right.

Back to Life, Back to Reality

My first workout coming back was a 6am lunges/pull-ups/sit-ups/hell combo. Seriously, I was not ready for it. I've done lunges before; I don't know what was so different about these ones, but I could hardly walk for the next few days. I should have scaled back; I know I skipped one round, but maybe I should have just started at a lower round. I don't know. It wasn't pretty. I looked like an old woman hobbling around. I made it in a couple days later for another round of Cindy. Why so many pull-ups the first week back? Why? The first time I did Cindy, I was mad because I stopped at 15 minutes. This time, instead of doing 5/10/15, I did 3/6/9. That helped, but I still stopped after 15. At that point, I was just so angry that pull-ups were ever invented. I didn't end up going on Saturday, mostly because I didn't know what it was going to be (it ended up being an easy 3-3-3 deadlift workout). I was really frustrated that week. I wanted to get back into it so bad, but my body just wasn't ready. I was still out of it, too. My sleeping was way off. In better news, I had another round of bloodwork done, this time it was non-fasting. My platelets were borderline low. Better, but still low. Apparently there's not too much to worry about. We'll test it again in another 3 months. I'm still bruising like crazy and I cut myself shaving once and the bleeding wouldn't stop. I guess I just have to be careful.