Happy Up Here

A funny thing happened when I went home for the holidays. I flew into Chicago and had a great time. I met up with two of my favorite people and they really tried to convince me to move there. Who wouldn't? It's a fun city, especially for a single girl. And it would help me professionally too, since I'm more likely to find a good job there than I am here. Then I went to my family in Kalamazoo and I thought about it an awful lot. Then I came to the realization...

I'm actually pretty happy right now.

And it feels weird to say this. If you know anything about my past, you know that depression has been a constant in my life and just getting by has been the norm. But recently, my mood has been pretty good. I'm smiling more. I feel good about the future. And the awesome part is that I'm not taking anything for it right now. It's just how I am. 

I attribute much of this to the great friends that I've made here, mostly from Eugene CrossFit. I can't talk about them without getting all verklempt. They know what they mean to me. I also know how hard it is to find good friends as an adult. I'm not willing to give that up.

I also know that I have a lot of work to do. I have big goals for my professional life this year. And it will take a lot of work. But I need to focus on these things. I know I do.

I also have CrossFit goals. I'm joining the Oly lifting class so I can do some major work on my technique and start lifting the weight I should be able to lift. I've started coaching, which means I need to take my own training more seriously. I made big time gains last spring, but I haven't made any major gains since. I need that again.

January is traditionally a rough month for me, at least for the past 10 years. It's the month that my dad died and as much as I try not to think about it, sometimes it just comes up and I get overwhelmed with sadness. The weather out here generally doesn't help. But it is sunny today, so I'll take my dog to the park and get that sun while I can. I know how easily it can go away.

Anyway, I am grateful. And happy. So thanks. If you're reading this, you've most likely had a part in all of it.

1 comment: