29.4.10

Lush

One unexpected change in behavior that has resulted since starting Crossfit is my decrease in alcohol consumption. No more happy hours. No more Boozeday Tuesdays. I still drink, just not as much as I used to. It's never been a problem, but it's always been a presence in my life.


My dad died of cirrhosis when he was 54 and I was 22. He drank too much for too long. I'm a lot like my dad. But I've always been aware of how easy it could be for me to fall off the deep end. I was never a binge drinker. I never woke up not knowing where I was (I think). Sure, I made some mistakes in my early 20s, but who didn't? Isn't that what you're supposed to do? I drank a lot the summer after he died. I drank every night. I made bad choices. But I managed to make it out of that summer reasonably OK. I've always known that I could easily get hooked on something, like alcohol ... or gambling ... or sugar. But, thank god, there's always been a voice of reason inside my head and I've managed, I guess, to be a responsible adult.


When we moved out here a few years ago, the first thing we did was go to the wineries. Who wouldn't? There was wine everywhere!  You can go anywhere in Eugene on a Friday night and there will be a wine tasting  nearby. It seems like our whole first year revolved around wine. We even went to Napa!
That's a good time! Now that I look at that picture, I realize that shirt looks a lot better on me now than it did then. Anyway, wine became part of our life. Anytime anyone came out to visit (which, admittedly, was not often), we took them to the wineries. We even had a wine tasting party just over a year ago.
I poured the wine. I sampled lots of it, too. Apparently, it made my face shiny.


During my first month of Crossfit, I decided to cut out alcohol because it's not paleo. Then I went out of town for a conference for work and there was karaoke and ...anyway. Then we went to Europe a couple weeks later. 


But after that, last fall, I did cut back substantially. It wasn't really a conscious decision, but I was watching what I was eating. I never cut it out completely - there's always a reason to open a bottle of wine, or order a gin and tonic, but I did cut back. It was particularly nice on a Saturday in February, so of course, we had to go where we always go when it's nice out. This spring, or just a few weeks ago, I realized that I hadn't had anything to drink in over a month. My niece came to visit and I couldn't take her to the wineries! But once I realized that I haven't done something in a while, I think about it. I've had some wine since then.


I hate cutting things out of my life completely. That's why I have a problem with sugar. If I try to cut it out, I think about it. I did manage to cut Facebook out of my life for a whole 48 hours last weekend. I do need to do that more often. 48 hours is manageable. If I'm obsessed, it's only for 48 hours. Then I can have sugar, or facebook, or crossfit, or a drink. I think I can manage that.

1 comment:

Emilee said...

Oh how I can SOOOOOO relate to this post. I've been drinking far too often as of late and honestly, it doesn't make me a better person. Usually I wake up feeling awful...on many levels...and I think what am I trying to run from...broken foot? insecurities? pain from the past? or the fact that I just am ready to grow up but scared as hell to do so....
excellent post. thanks for being soo honest!!!