Zumba?

I'm going to preface this by saying that I'm sure I would have a good time doing Zumba. I used to take those kinds of classes. Heck, I might even get a good workout!

But this post is not about Zumba. It's about gender roles and assumptions.

I try not to talk about work online. I know it's not a good idea. But something stopped me in my tracks today and I had to address it. In short, some students put together a brochure for fitness activities here on campus. They divided it into two categories: male-centered and female-centered. Guess where weight training went? Guess where Zumba was listed? After their presentation, I asked if these categories were determined by their group or the college and they said they did it. They're young guys. Is this what we're teaching them?

I never went to Curves or any other female-centered gym. Yes, there is something to be said for Girl Power, but if we're all about feminism, shouldn't we work out and do the same things as men? Sure, I felt intimidated when I first started Crossfit and I would be the only girl there on a heavy lifting day. You know what I did? I got stronger! 

I love Crossfit because women are generally treated equally as men (despite some remarks here and there). It doesn't seem like it's that way in the overall fitness world. What do you think?

I almost told that group of guys that I was sure I could do more pull-ups than the three of them put together. We'll see.

Other Thoughts

I've decided to resurrect (ha! on Easter) my other blog. I looked through it and didn't find anything too incriminating and really didn't want to post about the end of the world on my Crossfit blog. My other blog shouldn't be interesting to anyone, but it is what it is. I read through and realized I certainly was worried about turning 30. That's not really the case anymore.

Standards

About 6 weeks ago, I set a PR for my clean - 100 lbs. That was a good milestone for me.


Today, I cleaned that weight 25 times.


Crossfit HQ has been releasing a WOD a week for the Open, in which they're determining who will make it to the Regionals, and then the Games. Most of us signed up knowing that we really wouldn't make it to Regionals, and when I signed up I was questioning why I even wasted the $10. But I love it.


The first week, the WOD was double unders and snatches (or ground-to-overhead) 55 lbs. When I saw that, I thought, "I can do that." And that's the point. I got a few rounds - the bar was pretty heavy after that intense cardio. But the really great part of that WOD was seeing all these athletes at my box getting their first double under. 


The second WOD involved push-ups, a big barrier for so many women. Their standards were pretty strict too - keep your body straight, hands off the ground at the bottom. That was by far my best WOD.  But more importantly, so many people did more push-ups than they usually do. Good stuff.


The following week was tough - 110 lb. squat clean and jerk. I've mentioned this before. It was awesome that I finally got that squat clean, even if I only posted 1 rep for that WOD. I'm still in it!


Last week was just irritating - 60 odd burpees, 30 90lb. Overhead Squats, 10 muscle ups. Now they're starting to weed out the weak ones. I did my burpees. My Overhead Squats are terrible and I didn't even attempt it. But I'm still in it!


This week, the WOD is 

5 Power Cleans (100 lbs.)

10 Toes to Bar

15 Wall Balls (14 lbs.)

When I saw that, I made myself worry about the Toes to Bar and Wall Balls. I didn't let myself think about the cleans. I figured my hands would get all torn up from the Toes to Bar. But when I tried them yesterday, oddly enough, I was fine. I could totally do them. I know I couldn't do them 6 months ago, but I could now. I practiced cleaning a lighter weight. Keep it close to the thighs. Explode with the hips. OK.


Cleans are a weird move. I've heard the explanation a hundred times. I've practiced so many times. But I blank out during heavy WODs. I have the strength, I know this, I just have to get under the bar.


And I did. My first 5 came pretty easily. I set pretty low goals for myself on this one and now I wish I hadn't. On my first set of wall balls, one of them came down right on my left thumb, bending it back. That still hurts. But I could have gone faster. I could have done more. *


But I made it through 4 full rounds, and 5 cleans and 1 toes to bar. I missed some reps. The Games require standards, which I completely appreciate. All of my wall balls didn't make it. They didn't count. I wasted time. I missed a couple toes to bar (I think everyone heard it when I missed). But those shouldn't count. We should have standards. We need to get it right.


What I love about the Games is that if this WOD came up in a normal day, I would never do it RX. 100 lb. cleans? No way! But I had to today in order to get a score for the Games, so I did it.


Even with my sore thumb and my bruised collarbones, I'm considering doing this again on Saturday. I shouldn't. Oh, I know I shouldn't. Why do I do this?

That's why. Yes, I won the Crossfit March Madness. This was taken right after (OK, if Sam and I were really arm wrestling, honestly, I know). But you know what's great about this? All those people in the background who - after a really intense WOD - volunteered to do this one with us. They didn't have to, but they did it. And there was a big group of people cheering all of us on. That is awesome. And that's why I'll be at Crossfit on Saturday, definitely cheering, and if I don't come to my senses, competing.


*There's a common misconception that I don't like people cheering for me. This is false. I don't like the disappointment in people's voices when I can't get a rep. Also, I know my limitations. I can only get so many pull-ups at a time. Cheer on!

Mantra

LOST WOD:

(AMRAP 108 minutes)

Sprint (distance will change depending on what's  chasing you. You may rest if you find a place to hide for a couple minutes)

Rope Climb (to  escape the polar bears)

Sled Drag (to move your shelter. must do this if the Others find you)

Get to the top of a large hill as fast as you can, but it's OK to wander down when you don't get reception

Sledgehammer Swings (RX is shirtless, because that's how Sawyer does it)

Row (Try to do 1K, but you might not make it that far)

Don't look at the clock. It might move forward or backwards at any given time.

Change

A slideshow of pictures ran through my computer this morning, and I saw one that changed everything. It's a picture of me and my nephew Ben that was taken a few years ago.

Ugh. OK. I may take that down by the end of the day. I hate this picture. I hate it because I wanted a really great picture of me and Ben (he's an awesome kid. We roll on the same wavelength). But that's not me? Right? Is that how I really looked? I know I wasn't big but it just looked ... unlike me. Unlike what I thought of myself. And I know I didn't always look like that because I had just taken a picture with my niece

And I look moderately fine there. But that picture of me and Ben, that was when I felt like I had to do something. I was unhappy with all of the pictures of me. I didn't find Crossfit until a year later, but this was taken after a year of Crossfit 

That's more like it. Nate's almost as tall as me. Ben has the crazy tooth that fell out about 15 minutes later, and I'm happy. If you're unhappy with how you look or how you live, change it.


Yep. I totally miss my family.


As an aside, doesn't Crater Lake look completely unreal? That place is like another world. (It's rainy and grey today and I'm dreaming of other places)

This Is Pretty Much What We Do at CrossFit

Seriously. This is what we do.

The Mental Games

Every Tuesday, Crossfit releases a new WOD for the Crossfit Games. This Tuesday was week 3, and when I saw the WOD my heart sunk a little. So far I've been able to RX the game WODs and put up pretty average scores. This week, they went heavy. For ladies, this meant cleaning 110 pounds, squatting, then getting it overhead (and getting as many reps as you can in 5 minutes, but this didn't really matter in my case). I can squat that weight, but my max clean to that point was 100 pounds, and I think I've gotten 95 overhead before. My goal was to get one round, which would be a PR.

When I went in on Thursday, we practiced the movements for a while. Then we started adding weight. I practiced with 35, 65, 85, 105 pounds. By the time we got to 105, I was pretty discouraged. This was so much weight. And that was the point. They're looking for strong people. My partner went first and she did awesome. She was able to squat clean it and she eventually got it overhead, then squat cleaned it again. By the time my turn came around, my head was out of it completely. I tried and tried for 5 minutes to lift that weight, and I just couldn't get myself under it. I had told myself I couldn't do it, and guess what, I couldn't. I wasn't even that frustrated because I knew that was really heavy for me. I was pretty ambivalent about trying again today.

But I did. I came in, stretched, kept to myself. I started adding weight to a bar. I was able to clean 105 warming up, which was a new PR for me. My goal was to get something on the board. I didn't want to show up and not get it again. When the clock started, I picked it up a few times and came real close. Then another woman ran over, said she had the same trouble the other day, and told me to explode coming up. So I did this. We talk about our hips a lot in Crossfit, so instead of just standing and trying to lift a lot of weight, I exploded. And it worked! I cleaned 110 pounds, then squatted. I got my one rep! And so many people cheered when I got it! I tried going overhead, but it was not in the cards. But now I have something on the board. I'm still in it!

My coach said he'd never seen somebody so determined. I disagree with that. I see it all the time, almost every day.

I've dealt with some pretty debilitating depression my whole life. Currently, it comes and goes. I actually went off my medication at the beginning of the year. I know it's a chemical imbalance, but sometimes I just want to see myself for who I am and try to deal with it. A few weeks ago, it got pretty bad. Most people love free time - I don't. I'm not good on my own and left with so many choices, I can become paralyzed. I feel guilty for not writing. I feel guilty for not doing a lot of things I know I should be doing. Anyway, some people had noticed that I was hanging around Crossfit a lot, after my class was over. But where else am I going to see awesome people do amazing things every day? Seriously. 

Crossfit doesn't cure depression. But I'd hate to think of where I'd be without it. 

Competing

I'm a competitive person by nature, but not when it comes to Crossfit. I know better. I may be one of the biggest baseball fans currently living in the northwest, and I will talk about how awesome the Tigers are to anyone who will listen, but I am not joining the softball team this year. Newsflash: I'm not athletically-inclined. I hate playing team sports. I feel bad for the other members of my team. Crossfit tends to bring out the competitiveness with some people, but not me. I'll look at a few other people's scores sometimes and see if I can beat them, but I'm really trying to beat myself. 

But now I find myself in the midst of 2 crossfit competitions - The Crossfit Games and our own March Madness. The Games are kind of a big deal. They're trying to find the fittest people in the world. They usually hold sectionals, then regionals, then the games, but Crossfit is getting SO big that they're doing the Open this year. They release a workout each week for 6 weeks and if you want to compete, you can do the workout and submit your score and see how you rank. Top 60 men and women in each region go to regionals. So why am I competing? I don't know.

I've done OK with both the workouts so far. I made the mistake of doing the second one again today. I did it on Thursday and I did fine. I don't know what I was thinking doing it again. 15 box jumps per round X 7 rounds on Thursday and 6 rounds today = some pretty sore calves. And I'm just doing this for fun!

The real competition is on Monday. We've been doing this same workout for the past 6 weeks:

5 burpees

10 pull-ups

15 squats

Short sprint

 As many rounds in this weird time structure. When we started, I was really focused on getting my pull-ups for real. I knew I'd get less rounds than other people, but I also knew we'd be doing this every week and I could really work on them. The first week, my competitor didn't show. I got through the next week easily (solid improvement). Last week, I was sick. I was just really run down and feeling awful. To make it worse, we had to do heavy kettlebell swings before the workout. I got 10 less reps than the week before.  I was banking on my competitor not showing up. He did, but he was also sick and got 23 less reps. I'm in the Final Four! I do have a tough competitor this week - someone who's been making a lot of gains the past month or so, but I will do my best. I'm in it to win it!

I really wish we'd have a Crossfit Trivia contest. That is something I could win easily. EASILY!!!!

You won't see #8 in Right Field this year.

Qualifying

Watch out, ladies of the Crossfit Games! I just did my first handstand on my own. And I almost did a handstand push-up!

I'm catching up.

Playlists

A while back, I wrote a post about Music to Crossfit to (terrible grammar, sorry). This is a subject I think about often because I work out too much and there's usually terrible music playing. Once in a while we play our own music, which can be fun, but when that happens I'm usually thinking about what will play next and if it was the right song to play next. That's just how my mind works.

Full disclosure: I have really bad taste in music. It's steadily been going downhill for the past 5 years or so. Or maybe in my aging, I'm just being more honest in what I listen to. George Michael, Ke$ha ... it's all good. But it wasn't always this way. Back in high school, I had great taste in music and I could make a killer mix tape. I feel now that I'm at Crossfit so often that I should be able to come up with the perfect playlist for a Crossfit workout. But there's a big difference between a playlist and a mix tape.

First, you listen to a mix tape while you make it. You figure out what you want to say with the music, you gather a bunch of CDs or tapes, and you start. You might have a good idea of what should come after "Under the Milky Way", but after you listen to it, you might have other ideas. I guess you could do that with a playlist, but you don't have to. You can just click and drag songs and forget about it until you're listening to the playlist. Then you can change the playlist if you want. You can't do that with a mix tape, not really. A mix tape is forever. I have some in a box in the closet that are 15+ years old...and if I pulled them out I'd probably be brought back to sitting alone in my room in high school, thinking about what to say to that certain someone, which brings me to my next point...

When we're doing a workout in Crossfit, or at least when I'm doing a workout, I'm thinking about how much it sucks and why am I doing this and only 5 more reps or whatever. These are fleeting feelings that will be over soon. The vast majority of my mix tapes were created while thinking about a boy and whether or not he liked me and if I'd ever find out. These are much stronger emotions that create much more powerful music. 

I'll keep trying to come up with some good stuff to listen to during the WODs. But I know where my talent lies. 

Good Artists for a Crossfit Playlist:
En Vogue
Lady Gaga
AC/DC
Guns 'n Roses

Good Songs for the Perfect Mix Tape:
Helpless - Sugar
I Want to Touch You - Catherine Wheel
Under the Milky Way - The Church
Shake the Disease - Depeche Mode

Life & Fear

I was just reading a little book about Art and Fear (specifically called Art & Fear) and came across this thought by Joseph Conrad:

"Fatalism is born of the fear of failure, for we all believe that we carry success in our own hands, and we suspect that our hands are weak."

I actually told someone today about how I can't do a handstand because I'm afraid my arms won't hold me. It's stupid. I have the strength. I just haven't practiced. This is such a simple move and I haven't been able to do it yet. I feel the same way doing an overhead squat. I should be able to lift a lot more weight than I can - I have the strength - I just don't trust myself to do it.

I just watched this show called Party Down (brilliant show, canceled, of course. If you haven't seen it, you should watch it just to see Adam Scott, who's also on Parks & Rec and is awesome and nice to look at). Anyway, Party Down is about a catering company in LA. It's full of actors/comedians/writers trying to make it. But the main character, played by Adam Scott, is a guy who tried acting for 8 years and quit and is now resigning himself to work this menial job in the service industry. And he still gets recognized for a terrible beer commercial. Anyway, much is made about following your dream and not quitting.

Writing is not easy. I don't know why I chose to try it. But I haven't been doing it enough for a while now. I've been out of grad school for 5 years. I have not written anything substantial in 5 years. Some people comment on how impressed they are with my consistency with Crossfit. Sure, I reply. It is such a great distraction from other things in my life. But I need to start dedicating as much time to writing as I do to Crossfit, driving included. No excuses. Art is hard and it sucks. But some of us feel this stupid urge to create something that someone else might appreciate. And it sounds weird but Party Down is the kind of show I would like to be involved with someday. So I need to get to it and not quit.

2

Last month we started a new Spring Leaning Challenge at the box. I don't win these challenges, but I play along and try my best. This year the challenge was much shorter, and in a lot of ways, much more difficult. 

So on February 15 we did a workout called Angie, which I had done a few times before. It consists of:

100 pull-ups

100 push-ups

100 sit-ups

100 squats

And this has  to be done consecutively, so you do 100 pull-ups, then you do 100 push-ups... It's brutal. The push-ups are especially difficult after the pull-ups. Last month when I did it, I finished in 24:26 using a red band for pull-ups and 50 real/50 knee push-ups. It wasn't awesome, but that workout rarely is.


Today I did the workout again, and along with losing 2 pounds, I took 2 minutes off my time. Not bad for a month.


But the workout was completely different today. When I did it in February, I worked out with a bunch of my Crossfit buddies. It was a decent-sized class that day and we cheered each other on. Today, I couldn't make it into the night classes (work seems to get in the way of Crossfit sometimes), but I still wanted to do the workout. I could have come in at 7:30 am, but didn't we just have a time change and isn't that awfully early to be working out? I could have come to the 8:30am class, but that class is kind of intimidating and really, really good. So what do I do? I arrange to come in and do it alone. Just me and the clock and the Lady Gaga Pandora station. I didn't even have a coach to cheer me on (he was doing an intro). I knew what time I needed to beat, and I did it.


Many of us are creatures of habit. We like schedules and consistency. I don't think I'm that way (especially for work. 9-5=torture). But I do tend to show up for Crossfit at the same time on generally the same days. I could go to other classes, but I never do. Why? I like my workout buddies. I like seeing a lot of the same people every time. Some I've become close to; some I don't know anything about besides how awesome they are at pull-ups. But I like seeing them. I could try to change it up and go to earlier or later classes, but for now, I'm good. And I'm still improving. That's good enough for now.

For Sofia

If you read this blog regularly, I'm going to ask that you do something, just one thing, that would mean so much to me. For the second year in a row, my friend and I are raising money for Greenhill Humane Society, a no-kill shelter that does wonderful work in the Eugene community. Last year our team, Tiger Twins fo' Paws (don't ask), raised over $500 in just over a week. We're starting early this year and hoping to raise at least twice as much. If you can, please donate here. We'll be running in Bark in the Park on May 15. It's a really fun 5k with so many people with their awesome dogs.


This is my beautiful girl, Sofia.

I adopted her nearly 7 years ago from a shelter in Kalamazoo. She was scared and severely underweight. It took some time, but with love and trust, she's become my best buddy. She's been with me through a lot. I know so many others have had richer lives because of the animals they've adopted through shelters.


Please give if you can!

Words

My mind has been occupied with reading and assessing and planning as of late. Of course, I still make it into the workouts - it's the best way to avoid doing what needs to be done!

I'm talking about flash fiction today in my last lit class. If anyone's interested in reading a fantastic little story, read this one. Yes, this proves that I don't just read about box jumps and sports bras and whether or not wine is paleo.

The Only Thing Worth Mentioning

I ran 6 miles yesterday in 56 minutes. This is very, very good for me. It is also the longest distance I've run since September. My knee feels it today.


This sums up my current state of mind. My brain hurts. Enjoy.